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Student of Life
WastingAsparagus
is trying to enjoy life.
Member Since: Mar 2014
Location: South America
Posts: 4,641
2,909 hugs
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#221
It seems like I'm just going through the motions. I am so horrendously bored these days. Is there anything out there to do?
__________________ "Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it!” |
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SlumberKitty
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Student of Life
WastingAsparagus
is trying to enjoy life.
Member Since: Mar 2014
Location: South America
Posts: 4,641
2,909 hugs
given |
#222
I also feel so lost when I don't have any definite goals.
__________________ "Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it!” |
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SlumberKitty
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Student of Life
WastingAsparagus
is trying to enjoy life.
Member Since: Mar 2014
Location: South America
Posts: 4,641
2,909 hugs
given |
#223
I started re-reading a book I have on Zen. It helps me a fair amount.
__________________ "Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it!” |
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SlumberKitty
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Angelique67, Blue_Bird, Sometimes psychotic
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Elder
cogladaid
is feeling more stable
Member Since: Jul 2015
Location: Nowhere
Posts: 5,559
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#224
I think my mind would be more open to big conspiracy theories if they weren’t so racist and right wing jfc people are awful.
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SlumberKitty
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Legendary Wise Elder
SlumberKitty
is staying stable.
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
(SuperPoster!)
117.7k hugs
given |
#225
Hi Angelique, no I'm on my meds. Rexulti and Latuda and all the rest of them. The only difference is that I took some BP medication today that I have never taken before. I do feel a little paranoid though. I was hearing bells earlier. I haven't had a hallucination in a while but it might have been one. I am trying to think why I would be hearing bells. I'm at work but I have this feeling of being unsafe and needing to get home and get to bed. It's like doom or something. Like something is out to get me.
__________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
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Angelique67
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Legendary Wise Elder
Blue_Bird
is ready for recovery!
Member Since: Jun 2013
Location: Hogwarts
Posts: 36,660
(SuperPoster!)
14.3k hugs
given |
#226
__________________ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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SlumberKitty
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WastingAsparagus
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Legendary Wise Elder
Blue_Bird
is ready for recovery!
Member Since: Jun 2013
Location: Hogwarts
Posts: 36,660
(SuperPoster!)
14.3k hugs
given |
#227
I had a really good session with my therapist. I was really honest and open about the way things have been going and some of my recent behaviors. She gave me some good advice. We have another appointment in 2 weeks.
__________________ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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SlumberKitty
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Angelique67, cogladaid, newtus, Sometimes psychotic, WastingAsparagus
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Legendary Wise Elder
Blue_Bird
is ready for recovery!
Member Since: Jun 2013
Location: Hogwarts
Posts: 36,660
(SuperPoster!)
14.3k hugs
given |
#228
One thing I’m supposed to do is make a list of positive qualities about myself. And things I’ve already achieved so far in my life. So I’m gonna work on that.
I’m hopeful that things improve. I’m working on positive affirmations too. And I’m going to try to get outside more to get fresh air now that it’s getting warmer out. So I’m not locked up in my apartment 24/7 stuck in my own head. __________________ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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SlumberKitty
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Angelique67, cogladaid, newtus
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Princess Tutu
Erti
is rocking out to babymetal
Member Since: Jun 2011
Location: Nowhere
Posts: 7,912
2,894 hugs
given |
#229
Had an edible yesterday and I'm STILL feeling the high. It's been lingering and it has been freaking me out.
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SlumberKitty
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cogladaid
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Legendary Wise Elder
SlumberKitty
is staying stable.
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
(SuperPoster!)
117.7k hugs
given |
#230
I apologized to Noom coach for asking her if she was AI or real. She probably thinks I'm nuts. Great.
__________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
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WastingAsparagus
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Angelique67, cogladaid
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Metaphysic
Desoxyn
We are one mind
Member Since: Aug 2016
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 12,961
(SuperPoster!)
4,902 hugs
given |
#231
Good day skiing =] I felt a little apathetic but I got over it.
I went home and smoked a bowl after good exercise, relaxing.. I'm gonna read the rest of this mental health magazine that my mom bought me. |
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SlumberKitty
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cogladaid
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Metaphysic
Desoxyn
We are one mind
Member Since: Aug 2016
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 12,961
(SuperPoster!)
4,902 hugs
given |
#232
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SlumberKitty
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Princess Tutu
Erti
is rocking out to babymetal
Member Since: Jun 2011
Location: Nowhere
Posts: 7,912
2,894 hugs
given |
#233
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Desoxyn, SlumberKitty, Sometimes psychotic, WastingAsparagus
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Legendary Wise Elder
SlumberKitty
is staying stable.
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
(SuperPoster!)
117.7k hugs
given |
#234
__________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
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Desoxyn
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cogladaid, Desoxyn
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Princess Tutu
Erti
is rocking out to babymetal
Member Since: Jun 2011
Location: Nowhere
Posts: 7,912
2,894 hugs
given |
#235
I feel everything is against me... everything. I'm never eating edibles again.
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Desoxyn, SlumberKitty
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Angelique67, Desoxyn
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Legendary Wise Elder
Blue_Bird
is ready for recovery!
Member Since: Jun 2013
Location: Hogwarts
Posts: 36,660
(SuperPoster!)
14.3k hugs
given |
#236
Spent some time coloring tonight. Really getting back into it again. It’s a good mindfulness activity. Very relaxing/stress relieving
__________________ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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SlumberKitty
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Angelique67, cogladaid, Desoxyn, newtus, Sometimes psychotic
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Elder
cogladaid
is feeling more stable
Member Since: Jul 2015
Location: Nowhere
Posts: 5,559
|
#237
How can I think at the same time that I hold the key to prove/disprove God in an equation, but also believe I am a God?
I can't focus on studying my mind keeps thinking about conspiracy theories against me. Stealing my thoughts. Watching me. I can't hear all my thoughts. I was able to get work done today because my brain wasn't working so hard. It was distracted. I wish my meds worked better. I don't know what to do. I have my exam on Sunday. I talk to my doctor on Monday. I'm getting exhausted with all these things. I wish someone would just give me something that would work right now. |
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Desoxyn, SlumberKitty
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Angelique67
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Metaphysic
Desoxyn
We are one mind
Member Since: Aug 2016
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 12,961
(SuperPoster!)
4,902 hugs
given |
#238
I'm sorry that some of you are having such a bad time.
I don't like to tell people what to do: But THC = Psychosis. Dextromethorphan = Dissociative psychosis. Dissociation is mostly caused by trauma.. I could talk about trauma.. Antipsychotics seem to be good.. But I continue trying to pretend that I don't have schiz, dab in weed, mush.. I'm a hypocrite. I am sure that my illness causes psychosis.. and everywhere I go, I can't escape from it. The tentacles of psychosis reach into every part of my existence. Maybe there is no afterlife. I hope there isn't but when I'm doing good - I'm like "I can handle this". I've been to hell. I've been to heaven. People say "I can deal with anything" until they are being tortured. It's like not praying until you have something to pray for. I try my best to keep my mind healthy.. I don't want to lose my cognition. But I go into genuine mild manic states about all of the possibilities and interesting things that I can do to make the world better. Other times, apathy. Mostly apathy.. I'm not strong enough to hold the world above my head. |
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SlumberKitty
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cogladaid, WastingAsparagus
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Metaphysic
Desoxyn
We are one mind
Member Since: Aug 2016
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 12,961
(SuperPoster!)
4,902 hugs
given |
#239
Every single thing.. Is psychosis. And then I take the med, I feel unbothered by .. What do you call the feeling? Paranoia? The calmness of the med..
The more I go into psychosis, the more I believe.. I just want to know more and stop the suffering - How do people live being in conspiracies, their own lives.. It feels like genius.. It's a spark. I have a headache I'mma take advil. I took the olanzepine 10mg which should help. |
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SlumberKitty
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cogladaid, WastingAsparagus
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Elder
cogladaid
is feeling more stable
Member Since: Jul 2015
Location: Nowhere
Posts: 5,559
|
#240
The danger of working from home - the other night I almost jumped out of bed to my work computer to get stuff done because I felt inspired.
But I forced myself to stay in bed and looked at a wall until I fell asleep. |
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Desoxyn, SlumberKitty
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Desoxyn
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