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WastingAsparagus
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Default Feb 24, 2021 at 03:49 PM
  #221
It seems like I'm just going through the motions. I am so horrendously bored these days. Is there anything out there to do?

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WastingAsparagus
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Default Feb 24, 2021 at 03:50 PM
  #222
I also feel so lost when I don't have any definite goals.

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Default Feb 24, 2021 at 04:15 PM
  #223
I started re-reading a book I have on Zen. It helps me a fair amount.

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Default Feb 24, 2021 at 04:39 PM
  #224
I think my mind would be more open to big conspiracy theories if they weren’t so racist and right wing jfc people are awful.
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Default Feb 24, 2021 at 04:44 PM
  #225
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Kit, forgive me if you already said, but are you out of your AP meds? It sounds like you're off your meds.
Hi Angelique, no I'm on my meds. Rexulti and Latuda and all the rest of them. The only difference is that I took some BP medication today that I have never taken before. I do feel a little paranoid though. I was hearing bells earlier. I haven't had a hallucination in a while but it might have been one. I am trying to think why I would be hearing bells. I'm at work but I have this feeling of being unsafe and needing to get home and get to bed. It's like doom or something. Like something is out to get me.

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Default Feb 24, 2021 at 04:45 PM
  #226
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I started re-reading a book I have on Zen. It helps me a fair amount.
That's great!

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Default Feb 24, 2021 at 04:47 PM
  #227
I had a really good session with my therapist. I was really honest and open about the way things have been going and some of my recent behaviors. She gave me some good advice. We have another appointment in 2 weeks.

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Default Feb 24, 2021 at 05:41 PM
  #228
One thing I’m supposed to do is make a list of positive qualities about myself. And things I’ve already achieved so far in my life. So I’m gonna work on that.

I’m hopeful that things improve. I’m working on positive affirmations too. And I’m going to try to get outside more to get fresh air now that it’s getting warmer out. So I’m not locked up in my apartment 24/7 stuck in my own head.

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Default Feb 24, 2021 at 06:01 PM
  #229
Had an edible yesterday and I'm STILL feeling the high. It's been lingering and it has been freaking me out.
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Default Feb 24, 2021 at 06:08 PM
  #230
I apologized to Noom coach for asking her if she was AI or real. She probably thinks I'm nuts. Great.

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Default Feb 24, 2021 at 06:15 PM
  #231
Good day skiing =] I felt a little apathetic but I got over it.

I went home and smoked a bowl after good exercise, relaxing.. I'm gonna read the rest of this mental health magazine that my mom bought me.
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Default Feb 24, 2021 at 06:16 PM
  #232
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Had an edible yesterday and I'm STILL feeling the high. It's been lingering and it has been freaking me out.
Don't worry you'll be back to normal (??) tomorrow.
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Default Feb 24, 2021 at 06:19 PM
  #233
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Don't worry you'll be back to normal (??) tomorrow.
Voices are telling me to self harm right now.
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Default Feb 24, 2021 at 06:23 PM
  #234
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Voices are telling me to self harm right now.
Don't listen to them Erti. Your thoughts want to hurt you. My thoughts are acting up today too. I need to get home where it is safe.

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Default Feb 24, 2021 at 07:13 PM
  #235
I feel everything is against me... everything. I'm never eating edibles again.
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Default Feb 24, 2021 at 07:29 PM
  #236
Spent some time coloring tonight. Really getting back into it again. It’s a good mindfulness activity. Very relaxing/stress relieving

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Default Feb 24, 2021 at 08:20 PM
  #237
How can I think at the same time that I hold the key to prove/disprove God in an equation, but also believe I am a God?

I can't focus on studying my mind keeps thinking about conspiracy theories against me. Stealing my thoughts. Watching me. I can't hear all my thoughts. I was able to get work done today because my brain wasn't working so hard. It was distracted.

I wish my meds worked better. I don't know what to do. I have my exam on Sunday. I talk to my doctor on Monday. I'm getting exhausted with all these things. I wish someone would just give me something that would work right now.
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Default Feb 24, 2021 at 09:14 PM
  #238
I'm sorry that some of you are having such a bad time.

I don't like to tell people what to do: But THC = Psychosis. Dextromethorphan = Dissociative psychosis.

Dissociation is mostly caused by trauma.. I could talk about trauma.. Antipsychotics seem to be good.. But I continue trying to pretend that I don't have schiz, dab in weed, mush.. I'm a hypocrite.

I am sure that my illness causes psychosis.. and everywhere I go, I can't escape from it. The tentacles of psychosis reach into every part of my existence.

Maybe there is no afterlife. I hope there isn't but when I'm doing good - I'm like "I can handle this".

I've been to hell. I've been to heaven. People say "I can deal with anything" until they are being tortured. It's like not praying until you have something to pray for.

I try my best to keep my mind healthy.. I don't want to lose my cognition. But I go into genuine mild manic states about all of the possibilities and interesting things that I can do to make the world better. Other times, apathy. Mostly apathy.. I'm not strong enough to hold the world above my head.
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Default Feb 24, 2021 at 09:24 PM
  #239
Every single thing.. Is psychosis. And then I take the med, I feel unbothered by .. What do you call the feeling? Paranoia? The calmness of the med..

The more I go into psychosis, the more I believe.. I just want to know more and stop the suffering - How do people live being in conspiracies, their own lives..

It feels like genius.. It's a spark.

I have a headache I'mma take advil. I took the olanzepine 10mg which should help.
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Default Feb 24, 2021 at 09:47 PM
  #240
The danger of working from home - the other night I almost jumped out of bed to my work computer to get stuff done because I felt inspired.

But I forced myself to stay in bed and looked at a wall until I fell asleep.
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