Roll Call 180

cogladaid · Feb 24, 2021 at 09:58 PM

I haven’t left the house in about a week. I feel people are watching me.

But I have to leave the house tomorrow. Going to pick up food for dinner. And then I have to go to the bank on Friday.

It’s stupid but I feel nervous about it. People will see me. Watching me.

WastingAsparagus · Feb 24, 2021 at 10:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cogladaid

I haven’t left the house in about a week. I feel people are watching me.

But I have to leave the house tomorrow. Going to pick up food for dinner. And then I have to go to the bank on Friday.

It’s stupid but I feel nervous about it. People will see me. Watching me.

I know the feeling... Paranoia sucks. I am sorry you are going through that. Just know you're not alone in the struggle with those kinds of thoughts.

WastingAsparagus · Feb 24, 2021 at 10:09 PM

I decided to reactivate my account for my job. Wish me luck. Hehe.

Desoxyn · Feb 24, 2021 at 10:10 PM

Make sure you get good sleep. Visualize having no paranoia and maybe it can go away for a few seconds (I never tried this) but the 1/2 benzo kicked in with olanzepine. Am ok...

I see my doctor tomorrow for refills. Idk what to tell him. I forget everything. I think I have dementia or something. Maybe schizophrenia is a form of early onset dementia (Nah..)

Blue_Bird · Feb 24, 2021 at 10:33 PM

My March goals are to:
-Finish my embroidery project
-Read
-Get out of the house (sit outside or take a walk) at least 4 times per week
-Call about treadmills
-Find out about replacement mattress cover
-Play The Sims 4 (I know this is a weird goal but I want to start using my Xbox more)
-Color more/do more arts and crafts

I'd also like to get my sleep schedule back on track. I'm in the process of tapering off thorazine so hopefully I can start sleeping less and not all day anymore.

Oh, and use positive affirmations to try and work on changing the horrible negative thoughts I have.

Desoxyn · Feb 24, 2021 at 11:13 PM

If your soul feels tired, you probably have awakened to the false reality you live in, and you no longer want to play a part in it. ... People with soul exhaustion often use their imagination to escape reality, because their dreams give them more solace than their daily lives.

Calm Your Soul- Indie/Folk Playlist, 2020 - YouTube

Angelique67 · Feb 24, 2021 at 11:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SlumberKitty

Hi Angelique, no I'm on my meds. Rexulti and Latuda and all the rest of them. The only difference is that I took some BP medication today that I have never taken before. I do feel a little paranoid though. I was hearing bells earlier. I haven't had a hallucination in a while but it might have been one. I am trying to think why I would be hearing bells. I'm at work but I have this feeling of being unsafe and needing to get home and get to bed. It's like doom or something. Like something is out to get me.

I'm sorry, maybe you'll feel better after a good night's sleep.

WastingAsparagus · Feb 25, 2021 at 12:43 AM

I think I am going to try to get off of the Xanax next, then the olanzapine, then maybe the mirtazapine. I think Abilify and Effexor are the only meds I need. Not sure. Going to ask a pdoc.

newtus · Feb 25, 2021 at 07:54 AM

I’ve never been so happy to take my meds

newtus · Feb 25, 2021 at 08:59 AM

I’ve been feeling so much better since I’m back on my meds.

cogladaid · Feb 25, 2021 at 09:30 AM

I feel work anxiety again this morning. My mind is racing again and it’s hard to focus.

Fffff. I’m so sick of this.

newtus · Feb 25, 2021 at 09:45 AM

I’m so incredibly proud of fiancé.

I learned more about his job and it’s ever so slightly similar to what my dad did for 45 years. At least it’s the same field.

Fiancé is working in telecommunications as a data technician! 16/hr. His old grocery store job was 11/hr.

I’m so incredibly happy for him.

newtus · Feb 25, 2021 at 09:46 AM

Makes me wanna get a job in IT now forreal

cogladaid · Feb 25, 2021 at 09:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

I’m so incredibly proud of fiancé.

I learned more about his job and it’s ever so slightly similar to what my dad did for 45 years. At least it’s the same field.

Fiancé is working in telecommunications as a data technician! 16/hr. His old grocery store job was 11/hr.

I’m so incredibly happy for him.

Ooooh nice! Congrats to him! Moving up in the world. It’s a good line of work to get into much room for growth.

Blue_Bird · Feb 25, 2021 at 10:45 AM

Good morning/afternoon.

enjoying a cup of decaf coffee. I got up early today. I’ve been up since 7am. It’s going on 11 now. I feel good. Last night was the first night of decreasing the Thorazine. I feel more awake already, didn’t have problems getting up today. So this is a good sign that my energy will/is coming back.

Cleaning

the kitchen today. I think I’m gonna open my blinds to let some sunlight in. I normally keep them closed 24/7.

I love you guys

WastingAsparagus · Feb 25, 2021 at 10:57 AM

Doing pretty well this morning. I am switching psychiatrists for sure. My psychiatrist (current) won't even return my calls anymore. So unprofessional. I called him on Monday and yesterday and he returned neither call. I am just sick of our relationship (between me and psychiatrist) being like pulling teeth.

WastingAsparagus · Feb 25, 2021 at 10:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

Makes me wanna get a job in IT now forreal

I'm learning how to code! Anyway, haha.

cogladaid · Feb 25, 2021 at 11:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WastingAsparagus

I'm learning how to code! Anyway, haha.

What language are you learning? I learned some Python and am currently working on a C++ course. Next up is a Java course. I also need to learn SQL at some point.

Blue_Bird · Feb 25, 2021 at 11:51 AM

I kind of want a couple glasses of wine but it’s sort of a little early for that isn’t it

cogladaid · Feb 25, 2021 at 11:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

I kind of want a couple glasses of wine but it’s sort of a little early for that isn’t it

Yeah best wait to later in the day.

I’m probably not the best person to give advice on it though but wait!

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cogladaid Elder Member Since Jul 2015 Location: Nowhere Posts: 5,565 8	Feb 24, 2021 at 09:58 PM #241 I haven’t left the house in about a week. I feel people are watching me. But I have to leave the house tomorrow. Going to pick up food for dinner. And then I have to go to the bank on Friday. It’s stupid but I feel nervous about it. People will see me. Watching me.
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WastingAsparagus Student of Life Member Since Mar 2014 Location: South America Posts: 4,658 10 2,911 hugs given	Feb 24, 2021 at 10:09 PM #243 I decided to reactivate my account for my job. Wish me luck. Hehe. __________________ "Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it!”
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Desoxyn Metaphysic Member Since Aug 2016 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 12,985 (SuperPoster!) 7 4,912 hugs given	Feb 24, 2021 at 10:10 PM #244 Make sure you get good sleep. Visualize having no paranoia and maybe it can go away for a few seconds (I never tried this) but the 1/2 benzo kicked in with olanzepine. Am ok... I see my doctor tomorrow for refills. Idk what to tell him. I forget everything. I think I have dementia or something. Maybe schizophrenia is a form of early onset dementia (Nah..)
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Desoxyn Metaphysic Member Since Aug 2016 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 12,985 (SuperPoster!) 7 4,912 hugs given	Feb 24, 2021 at 11:13 PM #246 If your soul feels tired, you probably have awakened to the false reality you live in, and you no longer want to play a part in it. ... People with soul exhaustion often use their imagination to escape reality, because their dreams give them more solace than their daily lives. Calm Your Soul- Indie/Folk Playlist, 2020 - YouTube
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WastingAsparagus Student of Life Member Since Mar 2014 Location: South America Posts: 4,658 10 2,911 hugs given	Feb 25, 2021 at 12:43 AM #248 I think I am going to try to get off of the Xanax next, then the olanzapine, then maybe the mirtazapine. I think Abilify and Effexor are the only meds I need. Not sure. Going to ask a pdoc. __________________ "Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it!”
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newtus The Dopamine Flux Member Since Jun 2010 Location: Ardenweald Posts: 43,644 (SuperPoster!) 13 867 hugs given	Feb 25, 2021 at 07:54 AM #249 I’ve never been so happy to take my meds __________________ "We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living" The Dopamine Flux www.thedopamineflux.com Youtube channel https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII
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newtus The Dopamine Flux Member Since Jun 2010 Location: Ardenweald Posts: 43,644 (SuperPoster!) 13 867 hugs given	Feb 25, 2021 at 08:59 AM #250 I’ve been feeling so much better since I’m back on my meds. __________________ "We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living" The Dopamine Flux www.thedopamineflux.com Youtube channel https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII
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cogladaid Elder Member Since Jul 2015 Location: Nowhere Posts: 5,565 8	Feb 25, 2021 at 09:30 AM #251 I feel work anxiety again this morning. My mind is racing again and it’s hard to focus. Fffff. I’m so sick of this.
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newtus The Dopamine Flux Member Since Jun 2010 Location: Ardenweald Posts: 43,644 (SuperPoster!) 13 867 hugs given	Feb 25, 2021 at 09:46 AM #253 Makes me wanna get a job in IT now forreal __________________ "We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living" The Dopamine Flux www.thedopamineflux.com Youtube channel https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII
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Blue_Bird Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2013 Location: Hogwarts Posts: 36,740 (SuperPoster!) 10 14.3k hugs given	Feb 25, 2021 at 11:51 AM #259 I kind of want a couple glasses of wine but it’s sort of a little early for that isn’t it __________________ My Blog: https://livingwithachaoticmind.wordpress.com/ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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