Roll Call 180

Good job!

I'm practicing visualization (for like the DBT workbook I'm working through). So I'm imagining myself in a peaceful coffee shop in the evening/night sitting at one of the tables by a window with dim ambient lighting, drinking a coffee, reading a book, while it rains outside

I do that too! Not with a coffee shop, I have another place I use, but those visualizations are really helpful.

I took some before pictures of my arms and stomach, because I'm going to start getting some exercise and documenting my progress over the next several months. I really want to tone my arms up and lose some stomach fat, not just for appearances but to be healthier overall

I would say just be careful with this and watch out for any obsessive behaviors! I know how it is with recovering from an eating disorder and trying to get fit. I would take pics for progress and would get obsessed.

Not to say you will or you shouldn't take pictures, but just saying be careful!

Busy today! Got my stuff ready for taxes. Finished my assignment. Submitted my assignment. Registered for my exam. And registered for two new courses starting May.

Now I just have to wait for my marks to come back and spend the next month studying. Eeek.

Gonna smoke weed then read (Still not sure if it interferes with my reading) on the Vyvanse. I didn't plan to do anything today - Planning really helps.

I'm just waiting for something to happen.. Everything feels the same.

I feel reaallly good tonight. Maybe because I had a productive day. Idk. But I feel super hyped!

I have extreme anxiety.

Idk where to start but 3 of my 5 diagnoses are anxiety disorders.

"We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"

The Dopamine Flux
www.thedopamineflux.com

Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII

Watching Pokemon Journeys: The Series on Netflix. There's 4 seasons now. I'm on season 3. Also continuing to watch Vampire Diaries and this show called Derry Girls

I can’t seem to get my sleep schedule back on track yet

"We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"

The Dopamine Flux
www.thedopamineflux.com

Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII

I never met someone else with as extreme anxiety as me.

"We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"

The Dopamine Flux
www.thedopamineflux.com

Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII

Newtus you inspired me, I got another jar of Nutella! it's 35.2 oz haha

Hey guys. Need to vent about a few things. First about my discord server. So me and my friends made a discord server. I was working hard to make that place a warm and peaceful community. But my friends started adding problematic people in and my friends started arguing with each other a lot too. Long story short, I left because I was tired seeing arguments all the time. It was a good decision but it still hurts to see my hard work for over a year going to waste just like that. Second is about my painting. I joined a few painting communities, on Facebook and on Discord. There are just so many talented artists out there. I lose my confidence anytime I see their paintings. I logically know that art is unique to everyone and that comparison is a bad habit, but I can’t overcome this incompetence feeling anyway. Third one is about a situation in my house. So we don’t let our grandma leave the house due to Covid. She’s 85 and has some kind of dimensia, of course we don’t let her out by herself, but she’s been acting up because of this. Before pandemic she used take an afternoon walk to go to the grocery nearby. Now that she can’t do that anymore she let out her frustration by yelling at us. It’s just so tiring taking care of her. She’s my grandma of course I love her so much, but getting yelled at in a daily basis takes a toll on my mental health. Add the sweet cherry on top to these situations is the long and tiring visa process. I feel like crying but crying won’t solve anything so I don’t.

Do you guys have this problem too, when you text someone first you feel the urge to end the conversation as fast as you can because you’re afraid that you’re bothering them or afraid that they’ll get bored or your head is just blank even though you actually still want to talk?

I want off of the injection. I know there is a cure for schizophrenia. How can people be so hopeless about it? Jesus Christ! It's probably a simple cure too...

I’m good with visualization. What I need to do is the opposite, I need to focus on my surroundings so that I can stop blaming my furnitures for keep moving around when I’m not looking and bump my knees on them because of that

Same my friend, same *Sad high five*

I feel OCD thoughts creeping in. This anxiety rising. I just washed my hands five times because I felt I had to for them to be clean.

Just what I need now.

Yes. I once had a friend.. He was very interesting - And I thought of him as kinda narcissistic.. I just didn't know what to say - I was like "Wow.. This person is genius, cool millionaire that beat the system.." BUT.. I knew that I could learn from him... If I knew about cryptic messaging, I'd still have contact with him.

Other people just talk and talk - Need grounding. Often I have nothing in my head - Creativity dies from antipsychotic. It's weird how you KNOW that your mind is blank and like "I can't believe I'm not saying anything" and don't believe that it's happening.. It's like something traumatizing is happening.

I don't contact family members cuz Idk what to say.