Roll Call 180

cogladaid · Feb 23, 2021 at 05:06 PM

Some of my google searches from Sunday... LMAO. Wow.

WastingAsparagus · Feb 23, 2021 at 05:07 PM

I am super depressed still. Just exhausted. I cannot accomplish much these days.

Blue_Bird · Feb 23, 2021 at 05:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Angelique67

@Blue_Bird are you feeling any better?

Hey thanks I'm feeling a little better today. I actually finally did some things I really needed to do. Like turn in a letter to the apartment manager, sign some paperwork, mail out some other paperwork, go to Family Dollar. And then for fun I just watched Twilight. I have a phone appointment with my therapist tomorrow.

I hope you're doing okay

WastingAsparagus · Feb 23, 2021 at 05:56 PM

Didn't think I'd have a full-blown episode from this stuff. I guess I am having one. Great.

Desoxyn · Feb 23, 2021 at 06:01 PM

I thought I took a second 30mg Vyvanse this morning but it was still in my med box. No wonder I was so tired - But I didn't really notice.

Cryptocurrencies are down and Idk what to do so I'm ignoring the whole thing.

I smoked weed and watched a few physics videos, reading comments - Started thinking about how quantum computers can measure the one way speed of light.. Whether or not the two way is the same time - But how is time measured? D: Too complicated so I went to understand Apple's M1 computer chip.

I took a micromush dose and now my brain is lagging like a slow computer! I'm using it for addiction and interesting ideas like in 2019.

On the topic of weed, I've been smoking it almost every day before I watch videos and it helps me relax. I think I've gotten used to it.. It used to give me paranoid panic attacks - I think the olanzepine is stopping that.

I'll be up a bit late but I'm going skiing tomorrow morning =] Gonna read in the car on the way up to the hill.

Desoxyn · Feb 23, 2021 at 06:28 PM

Been hyper focused on Twitter yesterday for an hour. I like it! Elon Musk lost 15 billion in a day after his Tweet lol...

WastingAsparagus · Feb 23, 2021 at 06:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desoxyn

Been hyper focused on Twitter yesterday for an hour. I like it! Elon Musk lost 15 billion in a day after his Tweet lol...

I like Twitter as well. It's kind of entertaining.

Sometimes psychotic · Feb 23, 2021 at 06:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desoxyn

Been hyper focused on Twitter yesterday for an hour. I like it! Elon Musk lost 15 billion in a day after his Tweet lol...

The fork one?

Desoxyn · Feb 23, 2021 at 06:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

The fork one?

Yes something about Cardano (An alt coin) "fork in the road" happening today on the 23rd - Or he's going to fork it with Doge not sure..

He might be trolling the crypto market and to help South Africa etc.. Just theories people throw out...

newtus · Feb 23, 2021 at 06:53 PM

Love twitter but it’s that social media you gotta have a certain taste for

Desoxyn · Feb 23, 2021 at 06:56 PM

Imma find a YouTube video about what is inside a computer..

Don't mind me..

Need to clip nails.. So I'll do that first..

Mind over matter..

cogladaid · Feb 23, 2021 at 08:02 PM

I'm trying to focus on studying for my ethics course. Thinking about ethics and philosophy brings forward those thoughts I've been having. I need to study my math and I want to know now I have to get the equation to answer the question of God once and for all I will change the world with this answer I just need to get my skills up in math to do it. Ugh why does everything take so long to do I need to focus.

It's hard to focus. My mind goes too fast and I can't always hear what it's saying. Other thoughts I feel are being stolen.

Logically I know it's not real... right? It's not real I'm just manic. Huh, manic. Really the thought of having the label of bipolar 1 instead of 2 doesn't really change anything about who I am, but it just feels different. Like my identity has changed but I know I'm still me.

I just need to focus. Focus on studying tonight. Working tomorrow. Studying after work. I need to pass all my courses so I can change the world.

WastingAsparagus · Feb 23, 2021 at 08:27 PM

Set up an intake appt with an IOP tomorrow. We'll see how it goes / if I can get some financial help.

newtus · Feb 23, 2021 at 08:50 PM

Just to let y’all know.

There’s a new movie release out about a girl with schizophrenia. It’s called Fear of Rain. I haven’t watched it yet but rented it for tomorrow in my Xbox. I’m sure u can rent it anywhere if it’s not Netflix or something.

cogladaid · Feb 23, 2021 at 08:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

Just to let y’all know.

There’s a new movie release out about a girl with schizophrenia. It’s called Fear of Rain. I haven’t watched it yet but rented it for tomorrow in my Xbox. I’m sure u can rent it anywhere if it’s not Netflix or something.

I’ll look to see if I can find it on my TV for free.

Thanks for the tip!

cogladaid · Feb 23, 2021 at 09:16 PM

Thoughts going through my head that I should stop these pills they’re just interfering with my destiny. My thinking is skewed because of them stopping my thoughts and letting people steal others.

childofchaos831 · Feb 23, 2021 at 09:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

Just to let y’all know.

There’s a new movie release out about a girl with schizophrenia. It’s called Fear of Rain. I haven’t watched it yet but rented it for tomorrow in my Xbox. I’m sure u can rent it anywhere if it’s not Netflix or something.

Purchased on my ps4.

Blue_Bird · Feb 23, 2021 at 09:26 PM

On the verge of having a panic attack and having negative thought spiral

newtus · Feb 23, 2021 at 09:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

On the verge of having a panic attack and having negative thought spiral

You gonna be ok? What about your self care box?

Blue_Bird · Feb 23, 2021 at 09:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

You gonna be ok? What about your self care box?

Yeah, I still have that. I have to start using positive affirmations. I keep saying things to myself like

Possible trigger:

I want to die, I want to end my life, I hate myself, I'm ugly, my apartment is a mess, I'm never gonna get anywhere in life, etc

and that stuff is getting drilled into my subconscious over time and it's getting harder to believe/think anything else.

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Roll Call 180

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cogladaid Elder Member Since Jul 2015 Location: Nowhere Posts: 5,565 8	Feb 23, 2021 at 05:06 PM #161 Some of my google searches from Sunday... LMAO. Wow.
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WastingAsparagus Student of Life Member Since Mar 2014 Location: South America Posts: 4,658 10 2,911 hugs given	Feb 23, 2021 at 05:07 PM #162 I am super depressed still. Just exhausted. I cannot accomplish much these days. __________________ "Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it!”
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WastingAsparagus Student of Life Member Since Mar 2014 Location: South America Posts: 4,658 10 2,911 hugs given	Feb 23, 2021 at 05:56 PM #164 Didn't think I'd have a full-blown episode from this stuff. I guess I am having one. Great. __________________ "Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it!”
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Desoxyn Metaphysic Member Since Aug 2016 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 12,980 (SuperPoster!) 7 4,908 hugs given	Feb 23, 2021 at 06:28 PM #166 Been hyper focused on Twitter yesterday for an hour. I like it! Elon Musk lost 15 billion in a day after his Tweet lol...
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newtus The Dopamine Flux Member Since Jun 2010 Location: Ardenweald Posts: 43,644 (SuperPoster!) 13 867 hugs given	Feb 23, 2021 at 06:53 PM #170 Love twitter but it’s that social media you gotta have a certain taste for __________________ "We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living" The Dopamine Flux www.thedopamineflux.com Youtube channel https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII
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Desoxyn Metaphysic Member Since Aug 2016 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 12,980 (SuperPoster!) 7 4,908 hugs given	Feb 23, 2021 at 06:56 PM #171 Imma find a YouTube video about what is inside a computer.. Don't mind me.. Need to clip nails.. So I'll do that first.. Mind over matter..
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WastingAsparagus Student of Life Member Since Mar 2014 Location: South America Posts: 4,658 10 2,911 hugs given	Feb 23, 2021 at 08:27 PM #173 Set up an intake appt with an IOP tomorrow. We'll see how it goes / if I can get some financial help. __________________ "Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it!”
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cogladaid Elder Member Since Jul 2015 Location: Nowhere Posts: 5,565 8	Feb 23, 2021 at 09:16 PM #176 Thoughts going through my head that I should stop these pills they’re just interfering with my destiny. My thinking is skewed because of them stopping my thoughts and letting people steal others.
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Blue_Bird Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2013 Location: Hogwarts Posts: 36,723 (SuperPoster!) 10 14.3k hugs given	Feb 23, 2021 at 09:26 PM #178 On the verge of having a panic attack and having negative thought spiral __________________ My Blog: https://livingwithachaoticmind.wordpress.com/ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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