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WastingAsparagus
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Default Mar 07, 2021 at 11:59 PM
  #821
Also my short term memory is getting f***ed by benzos. I need to stop!

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Default Mar 08, 2021 at 12:11 AM
  #822
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Also my short term memory is getting f***ed by benzos. I need to stop!
If you want to stop, do it when you're ready. You won't be better if you stop taking the benzos when you haven't figured out your anxiety. Benzo = tolerance = working on coping mechanisms, no coping mechanisms + stopping = worse than it could have been.

Diazepam (Valium) was prescribed to me to take when ever I needed to sleep due to Xanax withdrawal. I got 14x 5mg prescribed twice. I'd take 2.5mg and that was enough for muscle relaxation.
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Default Mar 08, 2021 at 12:22 AM
  #823
Today wasn't a good day

I'll try and wake up earlier
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Default Mar 08, 2021 at 12:37 AM
  #824
I'm part of the sleeping-all-day contingent unfortunately. I wish I could go home. We've been confined in lockdown for at least 4 months or longer again. I've barely Vaped in the past 12 months. I'm so sick of this. We got the vaccine about 3 months ago, can't we please just get to some walking in this place? I feel like screaming.
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Default Mar 08, 2021 at 03:56 AM
  #825
It's like a prison. It took me by surprise because I hadn't been paying attention to my transits. Once I got here I realized immediately my 12 house getting hit, here was I stuck in confinement. I don't even think it's legal to do this to us.

The food has been disgusting too. I dread every meal.
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Default Mar 08, 2021 at 08:04 AM
  #826
I’m currently on lithium, Latuda, and abilify. Doctor is taking me off abilify slowly see how that works. He’s trying to see if I can be on one or two meds only.
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Default Mar 08, 2021 at 08:30 AM
  #827
I feel so much anxiety right now

Forgot my meds last night and had a Red Bull this morning too. Ugh. Cant even drink nothing with caffeine.

On record, I just called my mom. On the phone with her for 4 min exactly and she's already berating me about getting a job. I talk to her ONCE a week now for TEN min and she can’t ****ing leave me alone about anything. Bout to not call at all. Talking about “I’m concerned for your mental health”. WHEN? U never been anyway to begin with. Foh.

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Default Mar 08, 2021 at 08:30 AM
  #828
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If you want to stop, do it when you're ready. You won't be better if you stop taking the benzos when you haven't figured out your anxiety. Benzo = tolerance = working on coping mechanisms, no coping mechanisms + stopping = worse than it could have been.

Diazepam (Valium) was prescribed to me to take when ever I needed to sleep due to Xanax withdrawal. I got 14x 5mg prescribed twice. I'd take 2.5mg and that was enough for muscle relaxation.

Thanks for your words. I appreciate them.

You are correct! I do not have the coping mechanisms yet. So perhaps I should stay on benzos for now. I always thought my anxiety was helped by them a lot. And my anxiety sometimes happens (or rather, always happens) for no **** reason. So there it is.

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Default Mar 08, 2021 at 08:32 AM
  #829
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I feel so much anxiety right now

Forgot my meds last night and had a Red Bull this morning too. Ugh. Cant even drink nothing with caffeine.

On record, I just called my mom. On the phone with her for 4 min exactly and she's already berating me about getting a job. I talk to her ONCE a week now for TEN min and she can’t ****ing leave me alone about anything. Bout to not call at all. Talking about “I’m concerned for your mental health”. WHEN? U never been anyway to begin with. Foh.

I'm sorry Newtus - I can't drink Red Bull - it gave me a migraine the only time I had one.

Sorry you had that experience calling your mom.

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Default Mar 08, 2021 at 08:34 AM
  #830
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I’m currently on lithium, Latuda, and abilify. Doctor is taking me off abilify slowly see how that works. He’s trying to see if I can be on one or two meds only.

Only thing is if you have mood problems (read: depression), then getting off of Abilify might cause the resurgence of those. I don't know if you have depressed mood sometimes. But that's the one reason why I'd be cautious about going off of the Abilify. Obviously, I'm not the doctor though.

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Default Mar 08, 2021 at 08:35 AM
  #831
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I'm sorry Newtus - I can't drink Red Bull - it gave me a migraine the only time I had one.

Sorry you had that experience calling your mom.


It’s ok. Just tired of the bs. I used to care what she thought but quit listening to my parents advice aka hers because it kept leading me down a path where I was unhappy and trying to please everyone all the time. Made my mental health worse and had me exhausted. Much happier where I am now in life even tho now is still not the greatest and I could be better in some factors.

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Default Mar 08, 2021 at 08:37 AM
  #832
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It’s ok. Just tired of the bs. I used to care what she thought but quit listening to my parents advice aka hers because it kept leading me down a path where I was unhappy and trying to please everyone all the time. Made my mental health worse and had me exhausted. Much happier where I am now in life even tho now is still not the greatest and I could be better in some factors.

Yeah it's always sort of a balancing act (what advice to take from others and what to discard). I applaud you for taking care of your mental health though.

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Default Mar 08, 2021 at 08:50 AM
  #833
I’m always better when I don’t talk to her. Like on the days I don’t.

Breaking out in an anxiety rash now. Whole body itching but that also may be from the caffeine. But I know when I get really anxious my body starts itching like my palms and face and other places. It’s like it feels like I’m super aware of my body right now cuz I feel my nerves jumpin in parts of my body and then it itches there cuz my anxiety is just like idk how to explain. I can have constant anxiety but then I can have anxiety in waves where it’s just like “ugh I’m ok” and then 2 seconds later BOOM anxiety. Then 2 seconds later I’m ok and again and again.

When that happens it’s the worst. I can feel my heart racing and my stomach feels like a roller coaster in my body.

It’s because I get angry at her and then I’m like anxious and sad.

I think this is all being made worse right now by the caffiene and then when she started talking to me about my relationship and me not working I got angry and anxious.

She’s literally the only person ever in my life that makes me feel this way. My history with my mom has never ever ever been good since as young as I can remember and that’s like since I was 3 years old. I’m a really patient and nice person but it’s like she’s the only person where I can turn angry against quickly. Only person. Ever. I’ve had people wanna beat me up in high school and I didn’t even feel anger towards them.

But when you have a parent that is narcissistic and manipulative and gaslights u. You remember it. And it continues to happen. I’m tired of it.

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Default Mar 08, 2021 at 08:54 AM
  #834
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I’m always better when I don’t talk to her. Like on the days I don’t.

Breaking out in an anxiety rash now. Whole body itching but that also may be from the caffeine. But I know when I get really anxious my body starts itching like my palms and face and other places. It’s like it feels like I’m super aware of my body right now cuz I feel my nerves jumpin in parts of my body and then it itches there cuz my anxiety is just like idk how to explain. I can have constant anxiety but then I can have anxiety in waves where it’s just like “ugh I’m ok” and then 2 seconds later BOOM anxiety. Then 2 seconds later I’m ok and again and again.

When that happens it’s the worst. I can feel my heart racing and my stomach feels like a roller coaster in my body.

It’s because I get angry at her and then I’m like anxious and sad.

I think this is all being made worse right now by the caffiene and then when she started talking to me about my relationship and me not working I got angry and anxious.

She’s literally the only person ever in my life that makes me feel this way. My history with my mom has never ever ever been good since as young as I can remember and that’s like since I was 3 years old. I’m a really patient and nice person but it’s like she’s the only person where I can turn angry against quickly. Only person. Ever. I’ve had people wanna beat me up in high school and I didn’t even feel anger towards them.

But when you have a parent that is narcissistic and manipulative and gaslights u. You remember it. And it continues to happen. I’m tired of it.

Sorry for all that. Is there any way you can limit contact with her? I don't know if there's a step you could take along those lines? Or try to make a boundary first with her saying: "We can discuss other things but NOT my mental health." I wonder if that might help you.

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Default Mar 08, 2021 at 08:55 AM
  #835
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Sorry for all that. Is there any way you can limit contact with her? I don't know if there's a step you could take along those lines? Or try to make a boundary first with her saying: "We can discuss other things but NOT my mental health." I wonder if that might help you.


I’ve tried that but I’m gonna keep doing it that. I think my best bet is just try to distance myself from her.

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Default Mar 08, 2021 at 08:56 AM
  #836
Ugh this is an awful mood to start the day in.

Not enough sleep. Forgot my meds. And caffiene. Not good.

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Default Mar 08, 2021 at 08:58 AM
  #837
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Only thing is if you have mood problems (read: depression), then getting off of Abilify might cause the resurgence of those. I don't know if you have depressed mood sometimes. But that's the one reason why I'd be cautious about going off of the Abilify. Obviously, I'm not the doctor though.

Yeah I’m thinking maybe if I’m on lithium and Latuda that would be fine. But we’ll see how it works out. I talk to my doctor again today.
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Default Mar 08, 2021 at 08:58 AM
  #838
Life was great about 2 hours ago when I was just chillin with my dad on video chat and watching the TurtlesNChill live turtle cam on Twitch.

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Default Mar 08, 2021 at 09:01 AM
  #839
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Life was great about 2 hours ago when I was just chillin with my dad on video chat and watching the TurtlesNChill live turtle cam on Twitch.

Sorry to act like a therapist or something cause I'm not one obviously, but is there anything you enjoy doing or need to do around where you live that could boost your mood, even slightly?

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Default Mar 08, 2021 at 09:03 AM
  #840
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Sorry to act like a therapist or something cause I'm not one obviously, but is there anything you enjoy doing or need to do around where you live that could boost your mood, even slightly?


Yea there is. Today, at least. I’m waiting for a part in the mail to fix my computer so I should be doing that today. But I gotta wait for the mail to come today. Then once I fix my computer I may get a month sub to World of Warcraft and goto the in-game festival. That’s assuming all Goes well with all that above.

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