Roll Call 182

Try to take care of yourself though! You deserve it!

I struggle with the same thoughts.

The future holds nothing according to me.

There has to be some reason to carry on though.

Also anybody know if Geodon (ziprasidone) is a good med? I am researching things.

Thanks. I keep thinking about what the video chat people said to me 1-2 years ago. Idk why it bothers me still. I was doing my best and it wasn't enough - But they were strangers so idk why I care - Although any thing people say to me, usually are good things. I'm extreme sensitive. Idk how I'm still alive.

Hey, I have traumas too. I mean I remember when I was acutely psychotic and yelling at people (or so maybe I thought I was being mean to them or something and it wounded me somehow).

I have never recovered completely from those emotional hurts.

You (like me) just gotta be kind to yourself. It's hard.

Oh and I also think of the time I sang at an open mic night. It's a song. Depressing. Then I started mocking the guy who said, in the front row, "really cheerful." Anyway. That's a trauma all right.

Sorry if my last post was too much for people. ****. I just feel like I had to get that out somewhere.

I'm gonna go for a walk and listen to alan watts then try to sleep

Kinda feel like being noncompliant with my meds.

I wish you tons of good luck. That's kind of amazing that they made a card you have to have in order to fly. Wow.

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Hey junkdna , happy birthday!

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I read this as litter box.

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I wish I were at a resort with my friend with a private beach. I want to sit on the beach with alcoholic drinks, breathing the fresh sea air, and close enough to sit in the surf. It would be so relaxing.

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Oh no what did it say

"We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"

The Dopamine Flux
www.thedopamineflux.com

Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII

I guess I’m one of the few people and maybe the only person on schiz forum that I get paid to talk about what I go through.

"We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"

The Dopamine Flux
www.thedopamineflux.com

Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII

I feel like my life just gets worse as time goes on

"We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"

The Dopamine Flux
www.thedopamineflux.com

Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII

My emotions are everywhere about life.

My past, present, and future.

Idk what to do with my life anymore. I mean I kinda do but it’s never really gonna bring money but it’s what I love to do. Social media and writing about mental health.

I re-did my Fiverr and applied for the Fiverr pro. So we will see there. If anything I want to be a freelancer. The freedom is great yea but I need that sort of flexibility in order to maintain a healthy mental health life. I think my new “normal” is what it is now because it’s kinda been the whole past year, exactly now. Which isn’t great but it’s not horrible. It’s not super debilitating but it’s something I need lots of work flexibility. You know?

Like that’s just it. I’m not able to work a typical job. I’m just not and it’s ok kinda because I’m pretty creative and resourceful with how to make money here and there but I need to ramp it up.

Even the 10 page report the psyD did on me said I need minimal to no contact with others in a work environment and many breaks in between in order to thrive while working. That was her evaluation of me on the working/employed part of the report.

"We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"

The Dopamine Flux
www.thedopamineflux.com

Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII

Quote:

Originally Posted by cogladaid It’s just my brain is highly out of whack right now. But really I’ve always wanted to know all about who I am and put labels. Ever since I was a kid I felt wrong. The older I get the more I realize things about myself which makes me feel better. If I have a label I can handle it. Not knowing freaks the **** out of me and makes me feel lost. It’s just how I am. My obsessive thinking wants answers x 10. I just shouldn’t have said anything.

I'm not sure if I upset you are not. I apologize if I have. It wasn't my intent.

I've been thinking about my initial response. Perhaps it was a bit out of line for a stranger to comment on (I read these threads regularly even though I rarely post in them). You seem to display some traits that suggest ASD, but they could also be explained by other conditions such as OCD. I should have been clear about that in my initial response. Note that I was not trying to diagnose you.

I'm a believer in exploring all possibilities, because it often leads to self discovery and a "more" accurate diagnosis (which also depends on the talent of the clinician). This is why I replied to your initial post on the topic.

Obviously it's up to you to decide what to do and determine if the label will be of any assistance or not.

I heard back from my psychologist and she can see me next Wednesday! Instead of the week after. I feel a bit better knowing I have that next week.

I just feel fragile and obsessive and I can’t help myself. I get tied up in these thoughts and I lose myself.

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Felt as horrible this morning as I did when I went to sleep.