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Student of Life
Member Since Mar 2014
Location: South America
Posts: 4,701
10 2,916 hugs
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#81
I feel like garbage again. Can't work or do things.
__________________ "Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it!” |
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Desoxyn, SlumberKitty
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Student of Life
Member Since Mar 2014
Location: South America
Posts: 4,701
10 2,916 hugs
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#82
It's hard to advocate for myself when I feel this way.
__________________ "Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it!” |
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SlumberKitty
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Elder
Member Since Jul 2015
Location: Nowhere
Posts: 5,569
9 |
#83
I told my mom. She’s concerned about me. Said that i seemed off the last few days and it makes sense now. She made sure I took my night meds. She’s worried now. I feel bad making people worry.
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junkDNA, SlumberKitty
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junkDNA
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since May 2013
Location: Chicago
Posts: 26,422
(SuperPoster!)
11 22.8k hugs
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#84
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SlumberKitty
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2013
Location: Middle Earth
Posts: 37,271
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11 14.8k hugs
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#85
Thinking of having some Carolan's Irish Cream. Not sure if I should though. I'm in a bad mood, I feel aggravated for some reason
edit: I ended up getting a glass of it. Alcohol generally doesn't put me in a bad mood so I should be okay, it won't make things worse __________________ “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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SlumberKitty
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Angelique67, Desoxyn
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Student of Life
Member Since Mar 2014
Location: South America
Posts: 4,701
10 2,916 hugs
given |
#86
I'm kinda proud of myself - I finished that ridiculous proofreading job.
__________________ "Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it!” |
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SlumberKitty
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Angelique67, cogladaid, Desoxyn
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2013
Location: Middle Earth
Posts: 37,271
(SuperPoster!)
11 14.8k hugs
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#87
I think I need to work on gradual exposure to being outside and in public, I think being so used to being 100% isolated is what caused my panic attack today
__________________ “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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SlumberKitty
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Angelique67, Desoxyn, newtus
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2013
Location: Middle Earth
Posts: 37,271
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11 14.8k hugs
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#88
My sister's friend has a friend who runs a kitten rescue and eventually they're going to help get me a cat
__________________ “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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SlumberKitty
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Angelique67, Desoxyn, newtus, Sometimes psychotic
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Metaphysic
Member Since Aug 2016
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 13,024
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#89
For me, I did a lot today. It's just so much nonsense. I had depersonalization an hour ago but the olanzepine, atenolol and 0.25mg of clonazepam kicked in and I feel better.
My sisters cat got outside and won't come back - It's bothering me. My sister is quarantining at the hotel. My mom is visiting a friend so there's no one home. I just started to feel an impending sense of doom. It could be because of adding the Dexedrine or from taking too low doses of phenibut like what happened last summer. I want to write about what I did today for my memory but I'm just gonna go to sleep. I feel like I can't handle anything when I get dissociation. My brain feels fried. The cat could be meowing all night - Idk why she ventured further away.. It's annoying. I can't control anything - The world, pandemic, money, my own mind.. |
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SlumberKitty
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Metaphysic
Member Since Aug 2016
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 13,024
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8 4,929 hugs
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#90
Eh nvm I'll stay up for a bit. I feel so much better that the olanzepine, clonazepam and atenolol kicked in. Much calmer.
I had a thought that I would never be the same again. It's like my whole mental state completely changes to being on a psychedelic trip and that I'd trip forever. The psychotic delusions don't help either. I need to buy foot warmers. My feet are ALWAYS cold while dissociating. |
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SlumberKitty
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Metaphysic
Member Since Aug 2016
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 13,024
(SuperPoster!)
8 4,929 hugs
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#91
I remember when I was a kid, my mom would have like 100-200 CD's for playing music and I remember listening to those songs.. My parents would party a lot and it was some of my best childhood memories. I'm gonna ask her which one's they were because whenever I stumble upon hearing any of those songs, I feel good...
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SlumberKitty
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Angelique67
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 22,124
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#92
So now that Tapatalk is "fixed" it logs me out Everytime I just close it, and it logs me in to post, but won't let me login to quote anyone. As usual the Tapatalk devs are on another "ruin it" phase.
I've had a headache coming and going for weeks now, maybe because my left eye is losing crisp sight. A eye doc here said I have the beginning of macular degeneration. I don't know if she's just seeing all the scar tissue I have or actually diagnosing MD. It's a depressing prospect. They put needles into the eye. I wonder if I could be unconscious during all that. I was during my initial retina repairs in 1984, and during the cataracts removal a couple of years ago. |
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Desoxyn, SlumberKitty
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Desoxyn
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Metaphysic
Member Since Aug 2016
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 13,024
(SuperPoster!)
8 4,929 hugs
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#93
I started off the day very content.. And then it got so crazy, akathisia, stress, a depersonalization attack, sadness and now ending the night as content again...
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SlumberKitty
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Comfy Sedation
Member Since Sep 2012
Location: the woods
Posts: 19,304
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12 8,152 hugs
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#94
do u ever have a dream and in the dream u have to pee really bad so youre looking for a bathroom in the dream. then u wake up and you have to pee really bad for real
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SlumberKitty
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Angelique67, cogladaid
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The Dopamine Flux
Member Since Jun 2010
Location: Ardenweald
Posts: 43,644
(SuperPoster!)
14 867 hugs
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#95
__________________ "We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"
The Dopamine Flux www.thedopamineflux.com Youtube channel https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII |
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SlumberKitty
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junkDNA, SlumberKitty
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The Dopamine Flux
Member Since Jun 2010
Location: Ardenweald
Posts: 43,644
(SuperPoster!)
14 867 hugs
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#96
For the first time since 2015, did some yoga poses on the floor in the bedroom. Made me feel slightly better physically and more limber. But I’ve had a headache for like 2 days now. Should be gone in another 2 days.
__________________ "We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"
The Dopamine Flux www.thedopamineflux.com Youtube channel https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII |
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SlumberKitty
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cogladaid, SlumberKitty
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
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#97
I have such a busy day on Saturday. Have to take Amelia to the vet at 9:45 AM. She isn't sick, it's just time for a shot. I hope I can get her and then get her in the crate. That's not always easy. I had to call them once and tell them it wasn't happening today and they were cool with that. I mean, what can you do, it's an animal with their own mind about stuff. Then at 11 AM I have therapy. Then at 3 PM I am meeting my friend for religious studies.
On Friday I am going to the DMV to try to get my REAL ID. I hate the DMV. And I never fly. But just in case I need to sometime, then I'll have it. __________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
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Angelique67, cogladaid, newtus
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The Dopamine Flux
Member Since Jun 2010
Location: Ardenweald
Posts: 43,644
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14 867 hugs
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#98
I can’t for the life of me keep a written schedule. I always ago off the beaten path of schedules.
__________________ "We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"
The Dopamine Flux www.thedopamineflux.com Youtube channel https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII |
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SlumberKitty
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Angelique67, cogladaid, SlumberKitty
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Elder
Member Since Jul 2015
Location: Nowhere
Posts: 5,569
9 |
#99
Feel better today. Medicated! It takes a while for them to kick in though, of course.
I feel hyper and distracted but not as psychotic. My mom is worried about me. Making me take my meds in front of her. I mean, I don’t blame her. |
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SlumberKitty, WastingAsparagus
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Angelique67, Desoxyn, newtus, SlumberKitty, WastingAsparagus
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Student of Life
Member Since Mar 2014
Location: South America
Posts: 4,701
10 2,916 hugs
given |
#100
I signed up for an IOP. I am doing it. Finally. Haha. Gonna get my life back together.
__________________ "Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it!” |
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SlumberKitty
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Angelique67, cogladaid
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