Roll Call 183

My sister has a fever again....103....she’s thinks it’s “normal” and won’t see the doctor until Monday.....I mean she just got out of the hospital for sepsis, I tried to tell her the bacteria can regrow.

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Oh wow, that's scary SP! I hope she will be okay until Monday. That sounds really scary.

I see regular T tomorrow and Dr. K on the 11th. I am looking forward to seeing both of them. I'm not sure either can help me that much but it just feels like, yes! There may be help available! I double checked the time with T to make sure I had it right. I told her on text I was having voices and she said, okay. will look forward to seeing you tomorrow. I wish she could have gave me something concrete on the text to work with or a "hang in there" or something.

Thank you so very much!!

Voices are so difficult to work with....my pdoc from the time before basically said you need something super engaging to combat them. For me singing worked for some reason as did complex mental imagery. Basically you gotta get your Brain onto something else and it will give a temporary break. You can also try the pick three technique, like if one cool thing doesn’t do it then try three at once ie music tea and coloring ideally appeal to as many of the five senses as you can.

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I'm so sorry to hear. Sending you and your family lots of prayers.

I had a breakthrough recently. My recurring dream where I go to a workplace I haven't been to in 20 years, with all the guilt and anxiety, was now just a week or two worth to catch up, easily done in a short visit, and everything was ok. I've never had that before, it was like being home but completely free of any blockage and happy.

I haven't thought yet about what it means, but it's the first time the dream changed in any way and it is happy. I hope it corresponds to some positive inner change.

I need a hair cut

Singing also helps me a lot

Yeah and at least for me I don’t need to sing aloud just to make the motions like I were singing and pretend in my head.

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slept all day

I felt like I had the flu for half a day. I feel better now, just have injection site pain on my arm.

I took some pain meds and slept and I seem to be ok

God I was so fckn miserable.

"We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"

The Dopamine Flux
www.thedopamineflux.com

Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII

Thanks for caring about me on this site. Y'all are the greatest people ever! Schizophrenics of the world unite!

6 days since I last used nicotine

Awesome @Desoxyn!

That’s good!!! Proud of you!

"We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"

The Dopamine Flux
www.thedopamineflux.com

Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII

God bless you, dear Kit!!

I calmed down and stopped ranting. The shadow figure didn’t come back.

Haven’t gotten a lot of work done though…

Have to run errands after work. They’re announcing new restrictions because there were 502 cases today (which is high for our small population). Hopefully they expand the vaccine eligibility quicker so I can get the vaccine.

Anyway, have to run errands in case they shut stuff down or limit capacity.

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Congratulations!!!

This week has been rough....I don’t know why but sometimes I just absorb other people’s stuff and it makes me sad or irritable. Everyone around me has been sick, first my sister and then the bf is having back issues...possibly more severe than I first thought....it’s radiating down his legs now. Even my psychiatrist lost two people in India when I spoke to her last week. Somehow in combination with the covid restrictions where I can’t even see my family, I’m just kinda sinking a bit.

Trying to get myself motivated to walk outside for a bit but that might end up being a once a week thing, cause I’m like I just saw the pond yesterday. Maybe I need more stuff from amazon or something? I made the mistake of listening to downtempo music and that’s made everything worse in its own way. Have on dance now to try and correct it.

It’s like there is no one to take care of me right now, everyone needs my help so I’m on my own. I don’t know how my dad handles all this with my mom and sister being sick all the time and he has to be the responsible one.

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