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Default May 08, 2021 at 10:09 AM
  #21
That painting brings a calming feeling, SP. I really like that one 💕

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Default May 08, 2021 at 10:37 AM
  #22
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Originally Posted by newtus View Post
I’m really just not having a good day.

I swear it’s always something

And I always continually feel like a burden to everyyyyone around me. That’s why I just wanna isolate from people. I really do. I always gotta hear it from my parents or my friends never have time for me due to their personal lives, fiancé is like a loner, and I’m just done.

Not only can I never do anything right... idk it’s always something. Always someone getting mad at me for how I’m living my life. I don’t understand what I’m doing so wrong other than maybe financial issues.

Like my moms always on my butt about my weight and health and my dad comes over and he’s like “you need to clean more and clean better. Men don’t like a dirty house”. And so much more of the comments from my mom about my weight, health, my money situation, my religious beliefs even tho they are the same as hers basically, like a shyt ton of stuff. And then my dad, I love him to death, but I gotta hear about how “men don’t like when women...” this and that and this and that. I feel so fckn inadequate as a woman and a person. But I know he’s had relationship troubles his whole life and he doesn’t want me to get hurt by a man/person/anyone. Idk.

Fiancé is always stressed out and doesn’t talk much.

My friends are stressed to hell right now. SP and Door.

I can’t see my therapist cuz I’m starting this job and she has no openings for me right now for a long while.

Like I’m so fckn sad and torn, mentally.

Like please someone help rescue me from life. Fckkk.
I’m stressed out too right now. I try my best to balance between doing what I need to do and self care. What I do is to take a few breaks each day. Set an alarm for 1-2 hours and until the alarm rings I forbid myself to think about heavy stuff and do a self care instead. My self care list:

Exercise is too much for me at the moment so I just take a short walk around the neighborhood.
Paint something simple that doesn’t require me to sit for hours trying to get it right.
Massaging myself with a massage oil. Then take a shower and wash my hair. Put on lotion and wear a comfortable clothes after that.
Play a simple game on my phone.
Watch funny animal videos or fun music concerts.
Play with my cats.
Order my favorite food (I just bought a cake today)
Decorate my room with flowers and aromatherapy is on almost all the time
And the last one I don’t recommend because it’s just me being weird, but I like doing chores. The smell of soap when doing dishes. Seeing my clothes are folded or hung up nicely in my closet. The feel of squeaky clean floor on my soles after I sweep and mop it. Etc. When I feel like I don’t have any control about things that happen in my life, I control my surroundings by doing all these chores. It gives me a sense of relief because there are at least things that I can control.

I don’t know if this will help you but stay strong, we got this

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Default May 08, 2021 at 10:40 AM
  #23
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Originally Posted by 12AM View Post
I’m stressed out too right now. I try my best to balance between doing what I need to do and self care. What I do is to take a few breaks each day. Set an alarm for 1-2 hours and until the alarm rings I forbid myself to think about heavy stuff and do a self care instead. My self care list:


Exercise is too much for me at the moment so I just take a short walk around the neighborhood.

Paint something simple that doesn’t require me to sit for hours trying to get it right.

Massaging myself with a massage oil. Then take a shower and wash my hair. Put on lotion and wear a comfortable clothes after that.

Play a simple game on my phone.

Watch funny animal videos or fun music concerts.

Play with my cats.

Order my favorite food (I just bought a cake today)

Decorate my room with flowers and aromatherapy is on almost all the time

And the last one I don’t recommend because it’s just me being weird, but I like doing chores. The smell of soap when doing dishes. Seeing my clothes are folded or hung up nicely in my closet. The feel of squeaky clean floor on my soles after I sweep and mop it. Etc. When I feel like I don’t have any control about things that happen in my life, I control my surroundings by doing all these chores. It gives me a sense of relief because there are at least things that I can control.


I don’t know if this will help you but stay strong, we got this


Thank you so much Roll Call 184!!!

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Default May 08, 2021 at 10:48 AM
  #24
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Originally Posted by Blue_Bird View Post
I hope it’s not the abilify doing this to me, the not sleeping and spending ridiculous amounts of money

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Abilify made me have bad insomnia and restlessness

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Default May 08, 2021 at 10:49 AM
  #25
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Originally Posted by 12AM View Post
I’m stressed out too right now. I try my best to balance between doing what I need to do and self care. What I do is to take a few breaks each day. Set an alarm for 1-2 hours and until the alarm rings I forbid myself to think about heavy stuff and do a self care instead. My self care list:

Exercise is too much for me at the moment so I just take a short walk around the neighborhood.
Paint something simple that doesn’t require me to sit for hours trying to get it right.
Massaging myself with a massage oil. Then take a shower and wash my hair. Put on lotion and wear a comfortable clothes after that.
Play a simple game on my phone.
Watch funny animal videos or fun music concerts.
Play with my cats.
Order my favorite food (I just bought a cake today)
Decorate my room with flowers and aromatherapy is on almost all the time
And the last one I don’t recommend because it’s just me being weird, but I like doing chores. The smell of soap when doing dishes. Seeing my clothes are folded or hung up nicely in my closet. The feel of squeaky clean floor on my soles after I sweep and mop it. Etc. When I feel like I don’t have any control about things that happen in my life, I control my surroundings by doing all these chores. It gives me a sense of relief because there are at least things that I can control.

I don’t know if this will help you but stay strong, we got this

That’s an excellent idea Roll Call 184 I’ve never set a timer for self care or even thought about setting one but it’s just as Important so why not?

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

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Default May 08, 2021 at 10:56 AM
  #26
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Originally Posted by newtus View Post
I like that. Idk why but I like it so much

It’s the view from work more or less....it’s quite beautiful the field of dandelions and the sunset.

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Default May 08, 2021 at 10:57 AM
  #27
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Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic View Post
That’s an excellent idea Roll Call 184 I’ve never set a timer for self care or even thought about setting one but it’s just as Important so why not?

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
I’ve been setting up alarms for two days now, it makes me feel more free to enjoy my self care time because I don’t have to remember that I need to do my business later, alarm will tell me.

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Default May 08, 2021 at 12:37 PM
  #28
Went out to some greenhouses and Walmart with my mom. Was going to go to Canadian Tire but there was a line up outside. Wouldn't dare go anywhere else today with everyone panic buying. And tomorrow the new restrictions come in effective and everywhere open will have 10% capacity which is going to be a nightmare. So just going to hunker down for a few weeks, and my mom says she'll go out early in the morning for any groceries we need when we need them (she has one shot of a vaccine already).

Going to order in pizza tonight! Have a 15% coupon for DoorDash. Mmm.

I shouldn't, but I'm drinking an energy drink so I can study.
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Default May 08, 2021 at 12:58 PM
  #29
I don't know if I feel like studying. At least not the Java. My brain just isn't into coding today. Probably still tired.

Maybe I'll review my precalculus.
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Default May 08, 2021 at 01:17 PM
  #30
****, man. I swear I just heard a voice whisper my name. Wasn't anyone in the room or my music.

I barely ever get hallucinations so it's always jarring.
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Default May 08, 2021 at 01:25 PM
  #31
What is everyone up to today???

I feel talkative.
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Default May 08, 2021 at 02:25 PM
  #32
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What is everyone up to today???

I feel talkative.
I'm gonna sit in the living room where it's brighter and make a list of thingz to do..

I'm not feeling very talkative - I think it's the AP's.

I took some phenibut and kratom so maybe my mood will lift.
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Default May 08, 2021 at 02:51 PM
  #33
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I'm gonna sit in the living room where it's brighter and make a list of thingz to do..

I'm not feeling very talkative - I think it's the AP's.

I took some phenibut and kratom so maybe my mood will lift.
I thought you were considering quitting phenibut and kratom?
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Default May 08, 2021 at 03:30 PM
  #34
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I thought you were considering quitting phenibut and kratom?
I don't remember why I said that. I don't even know what phenibut and kratom do for me - Maybe that's why. But I continue to do it to distract myself.

I have a lack of meaning in my life. I'm very lost. The executive dysfunction makes it so I can't do anything. I was feeling better last week but now I'm going downhill.

Edit: Well not really.. idk.. I see no problem other than the fact that I have no opinions or sense of self. I'm completely fine I think.
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Default May 08, 2021 at 03:41 PM
  #35
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Originally Posted by Desoxyn View Post
I don't remember why I said that. I don't even know what phenibut and kratom do for me - Maybe that's why. But I continue to do it to distract myself.

I have a lack of meaning in my life. I'm very lost. The executive dysfunction makes it so I can't do anything. I was feeling better last week but now I'm going downhill.

Edit: Well not really.. idk.. I see no problem other than the fact that I have no opinions or sense of self. I'm completely fine I think.
Life doesn't have to have a grand meaning really. Just finding things you like to do is enough to get you by. But I get it, executive dysfunction has me messed up more lately.

I hope you feel better.
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Default May 08, 2021 at 03:42 PM
  #36
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What is everyone up to today???

I feel talkative.

I have been drinking coffee, I took a nap though which was nice, disconnected from technology for an hour, worked out. It's been kind of a relaxing day.

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Default May 08, 2021 at 03:54 PM
  #37
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Also there's some book Arianna Huffington wrote about sleep. It might be an autobiography or something - I haven't read it - but I think it talks about sleep. If you're interested, check out articles and/or books on sleep.
Hey WP, I like your quote, it's from my bible, Goethe's Faust. I believe it's in the theater section near the beginning. If you ever want to talk about it, l'm here. =)
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Default May 08, 2021 at 03:57 PM
  #38
I've been having trouble studying today. Just focusing on the wrong things. I read a bit about precalculus review but ehhh. I need to focus tomorrow though, I haven't really studied all week and I want to get these courses as done as quickly as possible.

Especially now with a near total lockdown I won't have any reason to leave my house for anything so I should work, and study more.
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Default May 08, 2021 at 03:58 PM
  #39
What happens when get get to rollcall 1000? Do we begin Rollcall 1a and start over? =)
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Default May 08, 2021 at 03:59 PM
  #40
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What happens when get get to rollcall 1000? Do we begin Rollcall 1a and start over? =)
The universe ends at that point, I think.
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