Roll Call 184

WastingAsparagus · May 08, 2021 at 06:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

Do what’s right for you, my friend

Thank you. I feel this pressure from my uncle, but I am going to stop giving it so much weight.

newtus · May 08, 2021 at 06:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WastingAsparagus

Thank you. I feel this pressure from my uncle, but I am going to stop giving it so much weight.

It’s true when they say, when you start living your life for you, you start really living.

I was a sheltered kid despite growing up with different forms of schizophrenia and being in and out of hospitals. I let my parents dictate everything I did. Everyone here can agree with me cuz they used to see what I was like with my mom and dad. Once I moved out, I can’t tell you, I grew by leaps and bounds as an individual in my career, life, love life, college, hobbies, literally everything.

WastingAsparagus · May 08, 2021 at 08:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

It’s true when they say, when you start living your life for you, you start really living.

I was a sheltered kid despite growing up with different forms of schizophrenia and being in and out of hospitals. I let my parents dictate everything I did. Everyone here can agree with me cuz they used to see what I was like with my mom and dad. Once I moved out, I can’t tell you, I grew by leaps and bounds as an individual in my career, life, love life, college, hobbies, literally everything.

That's good. I need to move out soon but I don't have income right now. Working on that. I need to devote much more time to things like that so it'll actually manifest.

newtus · May 08, 2021 at 08:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WastingAsparagus

That's good. I need to move out soon but I don't have income right now. Working on that. I need to devote much more time to things like that so it'll actually manifest.

You don’t even have to move out, too, tho. Focus on the decisions that will make you happy and help you thrive in your life. You’re the only one that’s gonna live it. And I know that sounds super cliche and easy to understand but it’s definitely something so many, even me, need to practice more.

Desoxyn · May 08, 2021 at 08:30 PM

I'm so unmotivated and my body aches from lack of exercise and stress.

cogladaid · May 08, 2021 at 09:11 PM

I used to be so pumped to go workout at the gym. But ever since COVID I’ve been afraid of the gym and it’s been closed plus I let my membership lapse.

I bought some workout equipment to use but I’ve barely used it. With work and school and my sister working in the basement I just haven’t worked out at all. And I know I’ve gained weight and am not in shape like I used to be.

So I’m trying to change that. I went for a long walk today with the dog. And I downloaded a couple apps to try to get me motivated. Even just a little bit should help me out.

One is 30 Day Squat where you challenge to squat for 30 days. And the other is Burpees. As much as I hate burpees, they are awesome for cardiovascular health.

I’m going to try them tomorrow. Squats will be easy, burpees will kick my ***. Then hopefully I’ll be able to use the bike in the basement after my sister is done work at 230pm.

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newtus · May 08, 2021 at 09:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cogladaid

I used to be so pumped to go workout at the gym. But ever since COVID I’ve been afraid of the gym and it’s been closed plus I let my membership lapse.

I bought some workout equipment to use but I’ve barely used it. With work and school and my sister working in the basement I just haven’t worked out at all. And I know I’ve gained weight and am not in shape like I used to be.

So I’m trying to change that. I went for a long walk today with the dog. And I downloaded a couple apps to try to get me motivated. Even just a little bit should help me out.

One is 30 Day Squat where you challenge to squat for 30 days. And the other is Burpees. As much as I hate burpees, they are awesome for cardiovascular health.

I’m going to try them tomorrow. Squats will be easy, burpees will kick my ***. Then hopefully I’ll be able to use the bike in the basement after my sister is done work at 230pm.

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Yay! I’ve been on a hugeee workout kick for the first time in my life idk why!

cogladaid · May 08, 2021 at 09:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

Yay! I’ve been on a hugeee workout kick for the first time in my life idk why!

Once you get into it it’s addictive!

I just have to get myself mentally back into it…

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newtus · May 08, 2021 at 09:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cogladaid

Once you get into it it’s addictive!

I just have to get myself mentally back into it…

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I knowww it’s crazy. Like, the first few days were rough but I stuck with it and fast forward, -> I found myself out shopping with my mom for more workout stuff today haha.

Bought a weight bench, workout clothes, etc. First time in my life!!! I think I just hit a rock bottom with my weight and back issues.

Erti · May 08, 2021 at 10:41 PM

The kids have been here for a couple of days. I’m glad my roommates cousin had to leave... from what has come out of my roommates daughter that their cousin touched her and saw her naked. He left so we have the kids back... none of the kids wanted him to stay. They said they liked me to stay. They missed me like crazy... they saw me the day they came home they were like I love you Aunt Jess and I miss you! It feels awesome that the kids want me around... I feel honored in a way because of the allegations that was on me was unsubstantiated and were lies from one of my roommates sister. The house is clean... roommates get the bigger room... the boys get the middle room and the girl gets her small room to herself. My room is the front room downstairs. For now we have more space. Just need some storage space.

WastingAsparagus · May 08, 2021 at 10:52 PM

I've also been trying to lift weights and run every day. Helpful for sure.

Desoxyn · May 09, 2021 at 12:00 AM

I felt agitated and in mental pain so I started drinking and now I just feel depressed

newtus · May 09, 2021 at 12:00 AM

I hate mother’s day

Desoxyn · May 09, 2021 at 12:11 AM

I remember.. I was 17-18 years old.. And I was on Roll Call - Schizophrenia/psychosis on my phone.. I think it was an iPhone 4S or something..

I was not in a good state. I talked to no one for months. The wifi was ****** so I got to play a few songs on YouTube occasionally - I was listening to "Rehab" a lesser known artist. I just remember feeling so good cuz I woke up after taking 1-2mg of risperidone and ate like 8 slices of bread with spaghetti sauce..

I probably needed to gain weight anyways but I never felt so euphoric to just eat something.. I may have been on methylphenidate.

I was on 5mg of Abilify or 10mg - I don't remember. But I remember phoning my psychiatrists office cuz I wanted to increase the dose. It helped with anhedonia but not for long after.

I remember being so alone with zero responsibility or insight from anyone to help me know that I was actually a person and not just intuitive energy or w/e.. I was then brought to the hospital after eating 92 kpins.

Rehab - Kept On Walking - YouTube

But I remember.. I remember how ****ed up everything was.

newtus · May 09, 2021 at 12:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desoxyn

I remember.. I was 17-18 years old.. And I was on Roll Call - Schizophrenia/psychosis on my phone.. I think it was an iPhone 4S or something..

I was not in a good state. I talked to no one for months. The wifi was ****** so I got to play a few songs on YouTube occasionally - I was listening to "Rehab" a lesser known artist. I just remember feeling so good cuz I woke up after taking 1-2mg of risperidone and ate like 8 slices of bread with spaghetti sauce..

I probably needed to gain weight anyways but I never felt so euphoric to just eat something.. I may have been on methylphenidate.

I was on 5mg of Abilify or 10mg - I don't remember. But I remember phoning my psychiatrists office cuz I wanted to increase the dose. It helped with anhedonia but not for long after.

I remember being so alone with zero responsibility or insight from anyone to help me know that I was actually a person and not just intuitive energy or w/e.. I was then brought to the hospital after eating 92 kpins.

Rehab - Kept On Walking - YouTube

But I remember.. I remember how ****ed up everything was.

I do too

newtus · May 09, 2021 at 12:13 AM

I mean, for me. When I was 21/22

newtus · May 09, 2021 at 12:13 AM

I’m drinking and shytposting on fb idgaf anymore

newtus · May 09, 2021 at 12:14 AM

I can feel the psychosis running through my veins

Desoxyn · May 09, 2021 at 12:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

I’m drinking and shytposting on fb idgaf anymore

I think I just like to stir up things on FB.. Cuz it's definitely not how people like family etc should communicate. I deleted all of my posts.

I might make even worse posts and just say "****kk it" cuz every time I do that, a family member tells me to "Delete your post"...

Desoxyn · May 09, 2021 at 12:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

I can feel the psychosis running through my veins

Newtus.. I don't know anyone that has taken on so much responsibility/tasks.. Entrepreneur type stuff.

Be proud of how far you've come.. You went far beyond what would give most people with psychosis - A psychotic episode.. Maybe the hypomania helped you... But you take breaks too - They're all you need.. Good meds, grounding and self care techniques..

You're good - A small mental breakdown is ok too as long as it's controlled. I'm nowhere near psychosis rn but feeling very sad.. But things change for the better.

Sometimes I like to think that I am still 18 but that's when I couldn't handle things at all.. I just naturally don't purchase hard drugs when I used to be addicted to doing that.. idk..

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Roll Call 184

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Desoxyn Metaphysic Member Since Aug 2016 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 12,987 (SuperPoster!) 7 4,912 hugs given	May 08, 2021 at 08:30 PM #65 I'm so unmotivated and my body aches from lack of exercise and stress.
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WastingAsparagus Student of Life Member Since Mar 2014 Location: South America Posts: 4,658 10 2,911 hugs given	May 08, 2021 at 10:52 PM #71 I've also been trying to lift weights and run every day. Helpful for sure. __________________ "Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it!”
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Desoxyn Metaphysic Member Since Aug 2016 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 12,987 (SuperPoster!) 7 4,912 hugs given	May 09, 2021 at 12:00 AM #72 I felt agitated and in mental pain so I started drinking and now I just feel depressed
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newtus The Dopamine Flux Member Since Jun 2010 Location: Ardenweald Posts: 43,644 (SuperPoster!) 13 867 hugs given	May 09, 2021 at 12:00 AM #73 I hate mother’s day __________________ "We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living" The Dopamine Flux www.thedopamineflux.com Youtube channel https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII
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newtus The Dopamine Flux Member Since Jun 2010 Location: Ardenweald Posts: 43,644 (SuperPoster!) 13 867 hugs given	May 09, 2021 at 12:13 AM #76 I mean, for me. When I was 21/22 __________________ "We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living" The Dopamine Flux www.thedopamineflux.com Youtube channel https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII
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newtus The Dopamine Flux Member Since Jun 2010 Location: Ardenweald Posts: 43,644 (SuperPoster!) 13 867 hugs given	May 09, 2021 at 12:13 AM #77 I’m drinking and shytposting on fb idgaf anymore __________________ "We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living" The Dopamine Flux www.thedopamineflux.com Youtube channel https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII
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newtus The Dopamine Flux Member Since Jun 2010 Location: Ardenweald Posts: 43,644 (SuperPoster!) 13 867 hugs given	May 09, 2021 at 12:14 AM #78 I can feel the psychosis running through my veins __________________ "We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living" The Dopamine Flux www.thedopamineflux.com Youtube channel https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII
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