Roll Call 184

cogladaid · May 08, 2021 at 07:58 AM

Good day all! Last thread went over 1,000!

Chat away.

WastingAsparagus · May 08, 2021 at 08:01 AM

Getting new psychiatrist on Monday I'm pretty sure. As long as they can fit me in. Pdocs are super busy these days I take it. Understandable, but still frustrating when they can't fit you in...

cogladaid · May 08, 2021 at 08:03 AM

So I fell asleep finally after 2am and woke up at 7am. Five hours isn’t that great though for me. Especially seeing as it’s Saturday and I could afford to sleep in.

I am adjusting to a higher dose of Latuda so that could be it. I just hope it settles down soon.

I was getting anxious before so I switched to green tea from coffee and it’s helping my anxiety but not much else.

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WastingAsparagus · May 08, 2021 at 08:04 AM

Sleep is one of those things I cannot do without. I always just feel horrendous the next day if I sleep poorly. I can certainly tell when I am lacking it. What helps me is meditation. It might not sound like it would help, but it helps me. I don't know if that's something you've tried?

WastingAsparagus · May 08, 2021 at 08:06 AM

Also there's some book Arianna Huffington wrote about sleep. It might be an autobiography or something - I haven't read it - but I think it talks about sleep. If you're interested, check out articles and/or books on sleep.

newtus · May 08, 2021 at 08:09 AM

I’m really just not having a good day.

I swear it’s always something

And I always continually feel like a burden to everyyyyone around me. That’s why I just wanna isolate from people. I really do. I always gotta hear it from my parents or my friends never have time for me due to their personal lives, fiancé is like a loner, and I’m just done.

Not only can I never do anything right... idk it’s always something. Always someone getting mad at me for how I’m living my life. I don’t understand what I’m doing so wrong other than maybe financial issues.

Like my moms always on my butt about my weight and health and my dad comes over and he’s like “you need to clean more and clean better. Men don’t like a dirty house”. And so much more of the comments from my mom about my weight, health, my money situation, my religious beliefs even tho they are the same as hers basically, like a shyt ton of stuff. And then my dad, I love him to death, but I gotta hear about how “men don’t like when women...” this and that and this and that. I feel so fckn inadequate as a woman and a person. But I know he’s had relationship troubles his whole life and he doesn’t want me to get hurt by a man/person/anyone. Idk.

Fiancé is always stressed out and doesn’t talk much.

My friends are stressed to hell right now. SP and Door.

I can’t see my therapist cuz I’m starting this job and she has no openings for me right now for a long while.

Like I’m so fckn sad and torn, mentally.

Like please someone help rescue me from life. Fckkk.

cogladaid · May 08, 2021 at 08:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WastingAsparagus

Sleep is one of those things I cannot do without. I always just feel horrendous the next day if I sleep poorly. I can certainly tell when I am lacking it. What helps me is meditation. It might not sound like it would help, but it helps me. I don't know if that's something you've tried?

I’ve tried before and it was so awkward and didn’t work for me. Sometimes listening to the sound of waves helps me though.

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cogladaid · May 08, 2021 at 08:12 AM

I was at a greenhouse yesterday and I heard this demonic voice say ‘EVERYBODY HATES YOU’ so that freaked me out. That along with seeing the shadow figure earlier.

Good thing I got some sleep.

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Blue_Bird · May 08, 2021 at 08:24 AM

I’m not using the treadmill today. I just don’t feel like it. I’ll do it when I’m better rested and in a better state of mind.

I’m essentially going to read until tonight then attempt to get some damn sleep. I’m tired but wired feeling

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Blue_Bird · May 08, 2021 at 08:27 AM

I almost miss Thorazine at this point

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Blue_Bird · May 08, 2021 at 08:34 AM

I was watching this show yesterday and one of the characters mom had cancer and she was dying. I started crying like crazy, like really full on sobbing, I couldn’t stop. My mom died from leukemia and it just reminded me of her, and I also feel guilty because I wasn’t at the hospital with her when she died. I was at our home. I was with her in the hospital the previous times she was on a ventilator and things like that, but the one time I really wish I was with her I wasn’t. I got a phone call and I thought it was her but it was the doctor calling to say she died

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Blue_Bird · May 08, 2021 at 08:45 AM

I hope it’s not the abilify doing this to me, the not sleeping and spending ridiculous amounts of money

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newtus · May 08, 2021 at 09:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

I was watching this show yesterday and one of the characters mom had cancer and she was dying. I started crying like crazy, like really full on sobbing, I couldn’t stop. My mom died from leukemia and it just reminded me of her, and I also feel guilty because I wasn’t at the hospital with her when she died. I was at our home. I was with her in the hospital the previous times she was on a ventilator and things like that, but the one time I really wish I was with her I wasn’t. I got a phone call and I thought it was her but it was the doctor calling to say she died

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I’m sorry to hear

How does the loss of your mom affect you in your daily life?

newtus · May 08, 2021 at 09:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

I hope it’s not the abilify doing this to me, the not sleeping and spending ridiculous amounts of money

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I was about to say, you seem to have some mania but idk I could be wrong

newtus · May 08, 2021 at 09:36 AM

Idk about yall but everyday that I’m alive I’m so upset that I deal with mental illness. Like I hate having to wake up and realize all over again that I’m sick and need meds.

newtus · May 08, 2021 at 09:41 AM

I feel like I’m being sabotaged by everyone on fb

newtus · May 08, 2021 at 09:45 AM

I haven’t eaten in over a day and a half. All because I was sick yesterday from the shot and I don’t have food really because our power was out.

12AM · May 08, 2021 at 09:58 AM

I’m so exhausted from all these bureaucracy stuff. Beyond exhausted.

Sometimes psychotic · May 08, 2021 at 10:00 AM

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newtus · May 08, 2021 at 10:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

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I like that. Idk why but I like it so much

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Roll Call 184

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cogladaid Elder Member Since Jul 2015 Location: Nowhere Posts: 5,565 8	May 08, 2021 at 07:58 AM #1 Good day all! Last thread went over 1,000! Chat away.
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WastingAsparagus Student of Life Member Since Mar 2014 Location: South America Posts: 4,658 10 2,911 hugs given	May 08, 2021 at 08:01 AM #2 Getting new psychiatrist on Monday I'm pretty sure. As long as they can fit me in. Pdocs are super busy these days I take it. Understandable, but still frustrating when they can't fit you in... __________________ "Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it!”
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WastingAsparagus Student of Life Member Since Mar 2014 Location: South America Posts: 4,658 10 2,911 hugs given	May 08, 2021 at 08:06 AM #5 Also there's some book Arianna Huffington wrote about sleep. It might be an autobiography or something - I haven't read it - but I think it talks about sleep. If you're interested, check out articles and/or books on sleep. __________________ "Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it!”
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cogladaid Elder Member Since Jul 2015 Location: Nowhere Posts: 5,565 8	May 08, 2021 at 08:12 AM #8 I was at a greenhouse yesterday and I heard this demonic voice say ‘EVERYBODY HATES YOU’ so that freaked me out. That along with seeing the shadow figure earlier. Good thing I got some sleep. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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Blue_Bird Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2013 Location: Hogwarts Posts: 36,742 (SuperPoster!) 10 14.3k hugs given	May 08, 2021 at 08:27 AM #10 I almost miss Thorazine at this point Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk __________________ My Blog: https://livingwithachaoticmind.wordpress.com/ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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Blue_Bird Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2013 Location: Hogwarts Posts: 36,742 (SuperPoster!) 10 14.3k hugs given	May 08, 2021 at 08:45 AM #12 I hope it’s not the abilify doing this to me, the not sleeping and spending ridiculous amounts of money Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk __________________ My Blog: https://livingwithachaoticmind.wordpress.com/ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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newtus The Dopamine Flux Member Since Jun 2010 Location: Ardenweald Posts: 43,644 (SuperPoster!) 13 867 hugs given	May 08, 2021 at 09:41 AM #16 I feel like I’m being sabotaged by everyone on fb __________________ "We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living" The Dopamine Flux www.thedopamineflux.com Youtube channel https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII
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newtus The Dopamine Flux Member Since Jun 2010 Location: Ardenweald Posts: 43,644 (SuperPoster!) 13 867 hugs given	May 08, 2021 at 09:45 AM #17 I haven’t eaten in over a day and a half. All because I was sick yesterday from the shot and I don’t have food really because our power was out. __________________ "We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living" The Dopamine Flux www.thedopamineflux.com Youtube channel https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII
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12AM Seeker of Life Member Since Oct 2015 Location: Silver Town of Argyra Posts: 4,786 8 5,508 hugs given	May 08, 2021 at 09:58 AM #18 I’m so exhausted from all these bureaucracy stuff. Beyond exhausted. __________________ One day I’ll leave my 6 flowers and millions of butterflies 🌹🦋
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Sometimes psychotic Legendary Wise Elder Member Since May 2013 Location: Chicago Posts: 26,409 (SuperPoster!) 10 22.8k hugs given	May 08, 2021 at 10:00 AM #19 Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk __________________ Hugs!
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