Roll Call 185

You could try doctor on demand.....

My memory is terrible. I want to improve it. First.. I will try writing things down and using chain-linking methods instead of repetition.. Using imagination..

Fack. Too many things. I'm completely tampering with perception and all consciousness like I was born yesterday.

This was/is my dinner tonight: a strawberry shake, 5 cheese garlic Texas toast, and spicy Doritos. So unhealthy but so good for a treat

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Olanzepine helped with the episode of DP/DR a little but but now I'm completely fine after drinking chamomile tea. Weird.

My mind was so weak it's ridiculous..

I’ve been doing the daily drawing challenges on SketchClub (an app for iPad) every day. These are them so far since I’ve gotten my iPad Pro plus a bluebird I drew for SP.

-Funky phone case
-draw a mushroom
-free draw Friday
-bluebird for SP

^^^might be out of order. It’s ok

"We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"

The Dopamine Flux
www.thedopamineflux.com

Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII

Not bad at all, Newt.

Feeling stressed out again. Ill try breathing techniques, and music, maybe even poetry or audio bible, or a lecture to calm down... Apparently the the computer doesn't do anything to calm stress. My mother is coming over and the street is flooded, its pretty bad. =( Better flooded today than day she flies out though. Hopefully it clears up soon... before it rains again.

SP, didn't you once say there's the option of seeing a dr at CVS in a pinch? Someone said that. Maybe it was my friend dan.

I’ve never done it....not sure how they are with psych meds.........

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

So I’m like obsessed with this iPad and stuff

"We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"

The Dopamine Flux
www.thedopamineflux.com

Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII

You’re always obsessed with new tech lol

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

i did this in an emergency situation where i was out of medication for a few days. i went to the minute clinic in CVS where theres a PA (pretty sure its a PA) and she was definitely apprehensive about prescribing a psychiatric medication ( it wasnt a controlled substance of anything, it was Lexapro) but she did end up giving me a prescription.

id say that its probably hit or miss with that though. since she wasnt super happy to do it but i was in SSRI withdrawal with literally no other option, save going to the Emergency Room

which, in a pinch, the ER will also prescribe medications if you have proof of your prescription. usually you just bring in your old bottle.

work is going awesome. i get to pick the Chefs brain which is totally cool and a really valuable and educational experience since hes pretty highly regarded as a corporate Chef. i ended up going to his house with the sous chef last night after work and got some constructive criticism about how i can improve. which i took very well and am glad to have that type of relationship with the Chef that we can talk frankly about that stuff with no hard feelings.

ive only been there 2 days but i picked up the POS system super quick. and theyre gonna start leaning me into cooking on the line at some point. Hopefully with the brick and mortar restaurant opening i can be doing expo, OR the owner of the business i work for has told Chef that if i continue to do well theres chances i could become a front of house/service manager!!

theres just so many opportunities with the job im at now, lots of different directions to grow in. many different paths. im just so excited. and totally flattered that Chef spoke so highly of me to his bosses and the bigwig boss, who i met on my first day and he was extremely personable and down to earth. the fact that chef trusts me that much and trusts my ability and work ethic to get me into this job makes me so grateful

I feel good today. Worked from 9am-12pm which is chill af.

Psychiatrist wants me to try half of a zopiclone to sleep every night - So I'll try that. The fits of laughter for hours before sleep are gone so maybe I can take it as PRN + my memory could get better.

I feel so volatile right now - I quit my job yesterday cause it was not a good fit at all for me.

That's ok. I've been there.. 2 years ago, I tried night auditing and quit after the 3rd night - I couldn't handle staying up all night and then going home and not being able to sleep. The old man teaching me was calling people stupid and was impatient with me when I was doing the math and I accidentally locked a gate when he told me to make sure I don't so I thought "God maybe I am stupid" and l left.. On the way home, I wrote the manager an email in spite and she was like "You said you were like a mediator in the interview" - I guess I just wasn't in the right mental state.

The job I have now is very good - I get to help out a family restaurant and they're nice to me. I make sure that I do a good job because I like it.. Cutting vegetables, a nice break to think + it gives me a reason to wake up early in the morning. I play Tetris with the dishes on the racks to be efficient.. Sometimes I listen to podcasts with one ear bud. No one gets impatient with me or anything.

I have a lot of work experience.. Mechanics shop, welding (I realized that I didn't want to go into trades anymore - I mostly did it for money. I wish my parents pushed me to do engineering or something like they said they'd think I'd do as a kid..), working at an old folks lodge, retail (What hell!??), working at a hotel.. So it's all good.. I've learned from the mistakes..

I saw on reddit, someone did 28 interviews for a job that he wanted and got it at the 29th.. He just never gave up.. Certain jobs aren't good for everyone and you learn from the previous =]

Make sure you're not tapering too fast from the clonazepam ^-;

Serotonin is increased when we're involved in repetitive behaviour!!

Anticipation and looking forward to something increases dopamine..

Yeah I think it was just that the new job was stressing me out too much - just too much too soon, I think.

I also have a thesis to write and a business to start. So I guess that's kind of the rationale why I quit the job.

I've had a relaxing day, mostly reading. No triggers today, able to keep delusional intrusions from taking over. I'll watch movies tonight but not sure which ones.

Pretty sure I'm never gonna get off of Klonopin. I think I need it. I think it puts a damper on my anxiety, which gets out of control without the Klonopin.

It's so hot.. It will be 100F+ for 5 days.

My sisters cat (Hunter) is a very fat cat and is meowing. I hope she doesn't get heat stroke. She already threw up. She's staying in my moms room with the Dyson fan. It was 95 degrees today.