Roll Call 185

Blue_Bird · Jun 28, 2021 at 02:56 PM

Thanks SK, I hope you feel better

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

newtus · Jun 28, 2021 at 04:48 PM

Working on my Kindle Vella story, PillBox. Amazon is opening up Kindle Vella to the public in 2-3 weeks so get ready to read my story! I’ll definitely post a link in snap to it when it’s up. Cuz I can’t do that here.

But I was reading my first chapter (episode) just now. I had avoided reading it because I didn’t think it was good. But it caught my own attention and thoughts of “what is gonna happen next???” And I WROTE IT! So I guess it’s good enough…

This is one of those times where I had to push myself to START to do something. Write, in this case. And once I made myself read my first episode, I wanted to write more. Great example of pushing through the unmotivation to do/start something and then truly getting something done. Because I was about to just lay down for another nap if anything. But I knew I should be more productive.

I’m growing I guess?

falcon09 · Jun 28, 2021 at 05:27 PM

called the clinic and talked to my social worker, she said to try to listen to music whenever I start to hear voices and she'd talk to the doc and see if he wanted to make any medication adjustments.

Haven't heard back so I guess the doc had left for the day, so I'll hear back tomorrow

SlumberKitty · Jun 28, 2021 at 05:29 PM

HUGS @falcon09

Job 30 26 · Jun 28, 2021 at 05:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by junkDNA

I own that book

If I may recommend a book : trauma and recovery by Judith Herman. she coined the term C-PTSD decades ago and describes it in that book. It was very helpful for me

Thanks DNA. I added it to my cart, I think Ill try the audiobook. But Ill wait when my credits replenish on Audible. That's how I bought the other two books, The Body Keeps Score and Waking the Tiger.

cogladaid · Jun 28, 2021 at 08:10 PM

I told my doctor I’m doing better, but he thinks I’m still in a depressive state. I admitted I’m struggling with work and focusing on school. He suggested a couple resources on doing CBT.

It always feels like after I talk to my doctor I feel chaotic. It’s not my doctor’s fault just how my brain works.

Just feeling a bit out of sorts now.

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Sometimes psychotic · Jun 29, 2021 at 08:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cogladaid

I told my doctor I’m doing better, but he thinks I’m still in a depressive state. I admitted I’m struggling with work and focusing on school. He suggested a couple resources on doing CBT.

It always feels like after I talk to my doctor I feel chaotic. It’s not my doctor’s fault just how my brain works.

Just feeling a bit out of sorts now.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Try the woebot app....it’s great for cbt.

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

newtus · Jun 29, 2021 at 08:54 AM

Made this of (and for) my friend who came down to visit me from New York. Not the best, I know but I haven’t drawn in over 10 years. I’m just now getting back into it. So forgive the mistakes and stuff.

Digital oil painting using Adobe Fresco on the iPad Pro.

Ceara1010 · Jun 29, 2021 at 10:12 AM

I got triggered this morning by an email that I thought had a double meaning but I know it has nothing to do with me so I kept the blinders on. I've mostly calmed down now.

I'm in the home stretch of a 36 hour fast. My sister and I did this together which made it a lot easier. I kept close touch with her via text, checking in every few hours to see how she was doing and comparing. I'll break my fast about 11am but she is going to keep going.

Today I'll practice my drawing and Swiffer the floors and later will read and probably watch another Hitchcock movie tonight. (Last night I watched Pyscho.)

Hope everyone has a peaceful day

Blue_Bird · Jun 29, 2021 at 02:37 PM

Highly recommend watching My Octopus Teacher on Netflix. It's a beautiful and amazing documentary

newtus · Jun 29, 2021 at 02:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

Highly recommend watching My Octopus Teacher on Netflix. It's a beautiful and amazing documentary

I’ve heard of that one and seen the trailer it looks really good

Angelique67 · Jun 29, 2021 at 03:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SlumberKitty

Hi guys. I am feeling suicidal today. No reason why. I was doing good, feeling excited about seeing my sister and my nieces tonight and tomorrow. Tomorrow is my birthday so I was feeling good about that. Took tomorrow off of work. Disneyland next week. Then I got these stupid thoughts in my head and I feel all heavy and burdened and weighed down. They came out of nowhere which drives my treatment team crazy because this always happens where my mood just dips for no reason. Of course I want to self harm to get rid of the thoughts but I haven't done that in more than 17 months and don't want to go back to it plus I know the thoughts would come back with a vengeance. I feel really crappy. I texted three of my support people and also told my Noom Coach, not that I expect her to do anything about it but it is affecting my food choices. I don't see Dr. K my therapist until July 19. So I'm kind of messed over in terms of getting any psychological help. I'm tempted to email former T and see if she will help me. But if she doesn't respond it will probably make me feel worse so I haven't taken that route yet. Ugh. I feel horrible. I think I had a hallucination today. I could hear my Mom calling for the dog but my Mom was sleeping. It was strange. It was a weird hallucination too. I don't know. I haven't been having any hallucinations in a couple of weeks, since like getting Helen. So I'm a little concerned that they might be coming back.

Hugs Kit. I hope you'll feel much better soon. And happy birthday!!!!!!!

Angelique67 · Jun 29, 2021 at 03:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by falcon09

called the clinic and talked to my social worker, she said to try to listen to music whenever I start to hear voices and she'd talk to the doc and see if he wanted to make any medication adjustments.

Haven't heard back so I guess the doc had left for the day, so I'll hear back tomorrow

Hang in there, falcon!!!! Hugs!!!!!

Job 30 26 · Jun 29, 2021 at 05:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

Working on my Kindle Vella story...

What's kindle vella???

Job 30 26 · Jun 29, 2021 at 05:01 PM

It was very stressful to listen to my book on PTSD and lead a crew. Maybe I have to read it on the weekends. Ill give it another day. The other crew leader got stressed out, named 5 problems in his life, and left, so that added to it.

Sometimes psychotic · Jun 29, 2021 at 05:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Job 30 26

What's kindle vella???

Perfect for you

Job 30 26 · Jun 29, 2021 at 05:10 PM

I think, instead of writing sequels to my stories, which might make me feel down, I think it would be healthy to work inside of my latest and create more meningful dialogue that's longer, and more drawn out, almost like a platonic dialogue or a dante'esque decent. I think this would be good shadow-work, ptsd work, because it's constructive on what I need right now to get healthier, and the character would need a greater experience anyway, and I can create a better mythology involved too.

So yes to ptsd work, and no to graphic novel.

Also, I'm learning that PTSD shuts down emotion completely like what im experiencing. This is very, very common. Meds don't help either of course. I have mental health problem on top of mental health problem at this stage of my life. Right now I need to articulate what I feel when I get triggered (angry in fight more) The book hasn't said a word about how to get out of it except how the most common way is to cling to another person, which some folks who experience PTSD can't of course.

I'm going to get the study guide to this book which is available on Amazon and Ill do on the weekends.

This guy is telling his story of his study, which isn't as helpful and telling me straight, but the narrative is interesting.

Job 30 26 · Jun 29, 2021 at 05:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

Perfect for you

Hmm, it appears this is perfect for me!

Blue_Bird · Jun 29, 2021 at 06:00 PM

I hope I get more sleep tonight, I only got 4 hours of sleep last night. I practiced ukulele. I'm wanting to learn some Christmas songs by December so I can record some and put them up on Facebook for the holidays.

Blue_Bird · Jun 29, 2021 at 06:07 PM

I'm thinking of buying a tenor ukulele, I have a soprano (the smallest size) which is amazing but I want to get a tenor too to have some variance in the tone. And I found a good one for a good price, so maybe.

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Roll Call 185

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Blue_Bird Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2013 Location: Hogwarts Posts: 36,745 (SuperPoster!) 10 14.3k hugs given	Jun 28, 2021 at 02:56 PM #861 Thanks SK, I hope you feel better Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk __________________ My Blog: https://livingwithachaoticmind.wordpress.com/ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi

falcon09 Grand Magnate Member Since Feb 2015 Location: United States Posts: 3,018 9 1,867 hugs given	Jun 28, 2021 at 05:27 PM #863 called the clinic and talked to my social worker, she said to try to listen to music whenever I start to hear voices and she'd talk to the doc and see if he wanted to make any medication adjustments. Haven't heard back so I guess the doc had left for the day, so I'll hear back tomorrow __________________

SlumberKitty Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jul 2018 Location: CA Posts: 27,329 (SuperPoster!) 5 117.7k hugs given	Jun 28, 2021 at 05:29 PM #864 HUGS @falcon09 __________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA

Blue_Bird Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2013 Location: Hogwarts Posts: 36,745 (SuperPoster!) 10 14.3k hugs given	Jun 29, 2021 at 02:37 PM #870 Highly recommend watching My Octopus Teacher on Netflix. It's a beautiful and amazing documentary __________________ My Blog: https://livingwithachaoticmind.wordpress.com/ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi

Job 30 26 Grand Member Member Since Jan 2020 Location: Norway Posts: 897 4 1,251 hugs given	Jun 29, 2021 at 05:01 PM #875 It was very stressful to listen to my book on PTSD and lead a crew. Maybe I have to read it on the weekends. Ill give it another day. The other crew leader got stressed out, named 5 problems in his life, and left, so that added to it.