Roll Call 185

I should have bought beer. Or wine. I have like one glass of wine left.

I got tequila and fireball though.

I feel stressed about trying to relax.

Lol I do that all the time

The closer to the deadline....the sooner you’ll have motivation......

I don't know what I'm gonna do if I can't sleep tonight, tomorrow will be 72 hours with 4 hours of sleep from a few days ago. I'm having auditory hallucinations, I feel like my mind is about to break down

Does your anxiety medication make you sleepy? You might try that......HUGS Kit

Thanks No, I tried taking that last night and it didn't help

I'm so sorry.

Do you have sleep meds? Anything over the counter like benedryll?

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Benedryll hypes me up instead of making me sleepy. Ugh. I did find a good OTC sleep med. It was just like the Target generic brand but it did put me to sleep. Now I have Lunesta (generic) prescribed by my Pdoc and it works like a charm. Have you thought about asking your Pdoc for something to help you sleep when you need it, Blue_Bird? I do hope you can get some sleep. That can really mess with you when you need sleep. HUGS!

Blue_Bird, if you are having trouble leaving the apartment, maybe your sister could go to the store for you?

Blue_Bird, I hope the hallucinations stop. I know that is hard. Hang in there. Be strong, girl!

Well.. I am very happy for at the moment, an unknown and yet for now, an undetermined reason.

I'm having problems with starting things. I'd say that it has improved by 1-5% of what it could be in 5 years.

My boss asked me what I did for Canada Day and I didn't remember.. It was yesterday.. I said I went to a lake but that was the day before - So I just need to think about all of the pictures in my head.. I can't talk to people because I always end up saying the wrong things. I'm extremely introverted but it's always been like that.

The best conversations I have with are with myself. Also I feel like I was born yesterday. Right now I'm thinking of insane philosophical things to lift my mood.

I'm gonna talk to my therapist about how to help with ADHD.. Idk if ADHD is the right label but she has ADHD so she must know what to do..

I feel like the psychedelia is wearing off and I'm extremely introverted again. But I think of how I'm on disability and people have to work more than me and it can make people miserable - Yet they have a better life than me and maybe always will. So what I need to do.. Is be more efficient, productive, form opinions and morals to live by from life experience - But mostly get out of my comfort zone. What I've learned from the trips is that it's the most important for me.. Cuz I was avoidant as hell. I wish I could improvise with people as much as I do in my head.

OMG, remember how difficult it was for me to get on a sleep routine for 5 years? I ended up going on a benadryl kick for 6 months and built up and FREAKING huge tolerance, I don't recommend benadryl for anything but a night here and there.

Long term solution: I take my mood stabilizer before I go to bed, along with 20mgs of my AP Geodon, and I really found my salvation in Doxepin. Its an old school antidepressant that slows my cognition down and it feels kinda cool, NOT euphoric cool, I dont' have words to describe it, but it helped bring balance to my sleep.

Also, I take remeron here and there when I'm in a pinch, a couple times a week maybe at most.

That's my sleep solution. Doxepin 25mgs, Triliptal 1800mgs, and Gedon 20mgs all 20 minutes before I rest my head. It knocks me out relatively quick too! 5 years (maybe longer?) I struggled with sleep, using alcohol, benzos, benadryl, upping the mediaction constantly, building tolerences, its a chaotic way to live. ((hugs))

The new thread is here: Roll Call 186