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Default Jun 19, 2021 at 06:34 PM
  #701
It is raining again

I love it

Summer rain..
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Default Jun 19, 2021 at 06:42 PM
  #702
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Work helps me too Roll Call 185Roll Call 185

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me too. its been a huge factor in my recovery

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Default Jun 19, 2021 at 08:13 PM
  #703
I feel cured but afraid that not being on antipsychotics would make me freak out. I think..

..I think that the enthusiasm towards reality like a scary ride can determine whether or not someone goes psychotic.. Hence the negative symptoms causing positive symptoms?

The fact that clozapine is probably the best antipsychotic and it possesses GABA-B receptor activity just like phenibut makes me wonder all of these connections I'm making. o.-
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Default Jun 19, 2021 at 08:24 PM
  #704
My sleep is kind of messed up, I was feeling manic the past several days and spending way too much money and dealing with spirits in my apartment I finally took a nap earlier in the afternoon and feel a little better.

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Default Jun 19, 2021 at 08:51 PM
  #705
I’m starting to get so agitated tonight for some reason

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Default Jun 19, 2021 at 08:53 PM
  #706
I need to exercise tomorrow and get out of my apartment.

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Default Jun 19, 2021 at 09:03 PM
  #707
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I need to exercise tomorrow and get out of my apartment.

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Yeah this thing is tough.. I hate agitation - That was the main thing that I complained about to the doctor when I was 16. She gave me 120 Klonopins.. Sigh..

I hope you feel better soon =]
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Default Jun 19, 2021 at 09:26 PM
  #708
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Yeah this thing is tough.. I hate agitation - That was the main thing that I complained about to the doctor when I was 16. She gave me 120 Klonopins.. Sigh..

I hope you feel better soon =]

Thank you

Agitation is horrible.

I actually have klonopin too but I took one 16 days ago and I try to space out the amount of time I take them so I don’t get dependent on them. Typically I let myself take it maybe once or twice a month max if absolutely needed even though I can technically take it up to 2 times per day.

It could be from decreasing the perphenazine. I’m in the process of coming off that. Maybe it will get better with time. My doctor is taking it really slow though which is good, I was on 16mg. she decreased by 4mg a few days ago and will decrease another 4mg in 2 months from now. And continue doing that till I’m off it.

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Default Jun 19, 2021 at 09:35 PM
  #709
I should be able to make my final payment towards what I owe my college next month then get re-enrolled for the fall semester.

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Default Jun 20, 2021 at 08:06 AM
  #710
Having a good day. Should be spending time one on one with fiancé today. Things are slowly getting better.

The producers want me back on the show!

And after my whole life, really, haha, I finally have someone who is willing to be in my films! So I’m trying my hand at filmmaking again around town, after 10 years of giving it up!

Working on new designs for the clothing line too!

Also, I have so much on my calendar to do. I had to pay a VA/PA to fill out my calendar for me. Door2015 was gonna help but didn’t have the time, but it’s ok, I know she has a lot going on!

So much other stuff going on! Im so ready. Going on a road trip soon too and my friend I haven’t seen in 10 years is coming down from New York State to visit this week! So excited!

Sooo much more stuff. Too much to cover. Might be hypo but not manic. Hypo in taking on a lot, but still sad from time to time. I’m always sad tho, I’ve realized that years n years ago. It’s like sadness is always gonna be my baseline, everyday emotion. If not sad, then melancholic.

But… yea… that makes me sad thinking about that but yea… I got some good stuff going on for me. I think the interview perked me up from where I was a week ago. And thank goodness cuz I wasn’t in a good place with my depression. The interview gave me hope that I needed so badly.

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Default Jun 20, 2021 at 10:17 AM
  #711
I watched TV all day yesterday. Now I'm trying to study today but I feel so distracted. Booo.
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Default Jun 20, 2021 at 12:57 PM
  #712
I have the focus to write an essay, but not to do math or code. I wish I had some courses I could write essays for... Stream of consciousness spewing out thoughts and analogies. Compare and contrast vampires like I did in another course. Compare Adolf Eichmann to Robert Oppenheimer like I did on one exam (while manic too). I could write an essay. But I can't really focus.
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Default Jun 20, 2021 at 02:38 PM
  #713
I managed to get a bit of studying in. And replied to some posts for a course. At least I got something done.
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Default Jun 20, 2021 at 02:53 PM
  #714
I submitted my preliminary thesis proposal to my advisor. I am happy about that.

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Default Jun 20, 2021 at 03:37 PM
  #715
Busy day at work but I did a good job. I enjoy dishwashing and prep-cooking. I get to help out a family restaurant and they're nice to me.. I come in the morning then leave in the afternoon.. No big deal. But I'm burnt out though now.

I'm gonna try and write down some things to say to my psychiatrist tomorrow. Not sure what I will say. I'm feeling weird today like not focused.

My brother bought 3 shares of GME. I expect it to rise 50% again (That's just my prediction). I don't understand it all.. I pay small amounts of attention to so many things.

I think I have a low verbal IQ. I can write good but I can't really talk to people IRL about what's inside my head.
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Default Jun 20, 2021 at 07:23 PM
  #716
I feel like I'm being cursed
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Default Jun 20, 2021 at 08:01 PM
  #717
Where is everyone

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Default Jun 20, 2021 at 08:08 PM
  #718
I'm having a mental breakdown. I told my mom that I feel delusional. I can't hold it back anymore. I have to tell people what's on my mind and seem like I'm crazy in the process.

I keep overthinking what I'm going to say to my psychiatrist. My mom is going to be there with me.

I don't care what he does - But I fear that I can easily calm myself like happiness is a choice and I'm choosing not to be happy or well. Then my meds will be changed - All of this progress I've made just by holding on. The world is insane and I've been isolated for too long.

I have so much on my mind that I can talk for days. At this point, everything is meaningless. Reactions to what I say are even more meaningless because my thoughts are metaphors or hidden messages of something else that I don't understand yet because I haven't thought it all through.
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Default Jun 20, 2021 at 08:09 PM
  #719
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Where is everyone

Father’s Day?

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Default Jun 20, 2021 at 08:11 PM
  #720
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Where is everyone

Listening to an animal crossing podcast

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