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Desoxyn
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Default Jul 23, 2021 at 10:35 PM
  #541
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I feel content today as well.

What have you done in the past to combat boredom?
I usually just lie down and think.. I have a lot of thoughts. They're not as interesting as when I lowered the injection and was insufflating 5-15mg of psilacetin.

I have a fear of getting out of my comfort zone and going into unknown rabbit holes - But that's what I'm starting to do. I need to squeeze the juices out of my minimal creativity to find something to do - And so far it's getting better. I want to put more effort into my awareness but lying down and thinking/open awareness meditation is too easy. I feel already satisfied with my life - But I need to keep my mind active.. A little OCD is good - Keeps you repeating problem thoughts in the mind so you have something to say to other people when talking..

I just have to trust my ideas... Like whatever is in my mind, I Google or YouTube it.. Then it leads me places. Before, I'd search "What do people do on the internet?" and people often watch Netflix, YouTube, pursue their hobbies, reddit, news, etc.. I feel like once I'm familiar with something, I have to find new novelty.. An ADHD thing I guess.

I could be searching things on hacking forums, learning educational videos/TED talks/documentaries, conspiracies, philosophy - I only do something for max 1 hour before I switch...

So far I've gone into the occult? Psychedelics, history of the CIA, modern human psychology, neuroscience, politics, history.. I'm all over the place. Idk if anyone else in the world is this scatter brained =p
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Default Jul 23, 2021 at 10:48 PM
  #542
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I also feel like somewhat stupid for taking 2 mg Klonopin today.

I want to get off of this stuff but it's hard when my anxiety is through the roof.
I keep 10x 0.25mg kpins in a bottle to carry it around in case I get a random dissociative panic attack. It happened a lot last year... 2-3 times it happened, I was in a restaurant. It was awful.
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Default Jul 23, 2021 at 11:03 PM
  #543
Oh music.. And music. I spend some time listening to music and staring off into space, thinking
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Default Jul 24, 2021 at 09:46 AM
  #544
I slept good last night. I think getting out and taking a walk during the day and also cleaning helped me sleep better. I also took a nap this morning, my legs are sore but that’s good because I’m trying to get into better shape

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Default Jul 24, 2021 at 09:57 AM
  #545
Before the summers over I’m going to the park with my sister, it’s really nice there and there’s a lake, I’ll be sure to take some pics and post them on here and Facebook

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Default Jul 24, 2021 at 10:44 AM
  #546
I have thought this before, but I think even more now that I’ve stopped it: I think vraylar was causing me gastrointestinal issues. It says it can cause gastritis…

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Default Jul 24, 2021 at 10:45 AM
  #547
I sat outside and read today. Here’s a picture of part of the courtyard

I sat outside for 30 minutes!
Attached Images
File Type: jpg 19CFFA81-8AC1-4673-AC60-B56F4AF78CCD.jpg (321.5 KB, 12 views)

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Last edited by Blue_Bird; Jul 24, 2021 at 10:59 AM..
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Default Jul 24, 2021 at 10:56 AM
  #548
I decided to have the goal of working on an assignment today and now I look at the assignment I feel like I can't do it I'm going to fail.
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Default Jul 24, 2021 at 01:13 PM
  #549
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I decided to have the goal of working on an assignment today and now I look at the assignment I feel like I can't do it I'm going to fail.

I never know when to use the hug/thanks feature. But I can relate. I am supposed to be working on my thesis right now.

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Default Jul 24, 2021 at 03:34 PM
  #550
I made tofu

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Default Jul 24, 2021 at 03:49 PM
  #551
Roll Call 186

Something else I won on that claw machine app came in the mail

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Default Jul 24, 2021 at 03:51 PM
  #552
I won like 7 things so far on free coins. Got two in the mail already. The hello kitty plush and this double dream catcher. I just pick what I know I can win. I did pay 3.99 one time fee to get free shipping on everything I win tho. But that’s all I’ve spent on that app.

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Default Jul 24, 2021 at 03:56 PM
  #553
I feel like the government is out to get me

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Default Jul 24, 2021 at 04:17 PM
  #554
I did everything I needed to do today. Tomorrow will be a little busy, have a lot to do. But I'm glad I'm becoming more productive

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Default Jul 24, 2021 at 04:19 PM
  #555
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I did everything I needed to do today. Tomorrow will be a little busy, have a lot to do. But I'm glad I'm becoming more productive

Rest. Make sure you get enough sleep.

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Default Jul 24, 2021 at 05:19 PM
  #556
I exErcisED FoR 2 houRs. I woke up this morning and felt like I needed more deep sleep - Muscles achy. I made it to work by 9am though. I managed to get out of bed before taking the Vyvanse. I only need 1/2 a zopiclone to sleep - I've been taking only 3.75mg for a month now.

I didn't feel like climbing the thing because I needed more rest - But I did anyways. I smoked a little weed before bed last night and I felt unfocused - So no more of that unless I take Dexedrines. I listened to another podcast about meditation but my focus kept going in and out because of cars driving by, people walking, cycling etc..

Now it is time to relax.. Tomorrow I wake up at 8:30am again.

So for now I have free time and a much clearer mind - Needed to take phenibut cuz of negative thinking triggered by my mom. So far things are going good.

My new room is bigger so I bought a desk on Amazon for 100 dollar. I've been doing very well - Zero symptoms.. Just confusion.
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Default Jul 24, 2021 at 05:44 PM
  #557
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I exErcisED FoR 2 houRs. I woke up this morning and felt like I needed more deep sleep - Muscles achy. I made it to work by 9am though. I managed to get out of bed before taking the Vyvanse. I only need 1/2 a zopiclone to sleep - I've been taking only 3.75mg for a month now.

I didn't feel like climbing the thing because I needed more rest - But I did anyways. I smoked a little weed before bed last night and I felt unfocused - So no more of that unless I take Dexedrines. I listened to another podcast about meditation but my focus kept going in and out because of cars driving by, people walking, cycling etc..

Now it is time to relax.. Tomorrow I wake up at 8:30am again.

So for now I have free time and a much clearer mind - Needed to take phenibut cuz of negative thinking triggered by my mom. So far things are going good.

My new room is bigger so I bought a desk on Amazon for 100 dollar. I've been doing very well - Zero symptoms.. Just confusion.

Your new room? Did you move?

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Default Jul 24, 2021 at 06:09 PM
  #558
Tomorrow will be an easy day as far as cooking goes. I have tons of leftover tofu stir fry so I don’t have to cook! And in the morning I can have oatmeal which is just in the microwave. I do need to make some hard boiled eggs though but that’s easy. I’m proud of myself for cooking today.

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Default Jul 24, 2021 at 07:07 PM
  #559
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Tomorrow will be an easy day as far as cooking goes. I have tons of leftover tofu stir fry so I don’t have to cook! And in the morning I can have oatmeal which is just in the microwave. I do need to make some hard boiled eggs though but that’s easy. I’m proud of myself for cooking today.

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That’s awesome!

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Default Jul 24, 2021 at 07:13 PM
  #560
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Your new room? Did you move?
My sister is moving out and the 3 bedroom costed 2100 a month excluding utilities. I moved with my mom into a 2 bedroom for 700 including utilities + I have a bigger room and closer to town - 5 minute walk to work.

So money will be saved ^-^

Then in 1-2 years, we'll move to the East coast and my dad will be retired so I could live with him idk.. I could go school.. But my brain cell is too tired for that now idk. I'm too scared to make connections or travel anymore. I need IRL friends..

So I'm chill for now.. Play guitar/piano maybe, podcasts, reading, learning, crypto, maybe games, videos, exercise.. conspiracies, talking to people, online courses, keto, neuroscience, technology, spirituality/philosophy/meditation, little bit of drugs etc

My life is very simple or no.. I'm ok with it. I will try ^-;
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