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newtus
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Default Jul 28, 2021 at 02:37 PM
  #641
Got a Big Mac for lunch!

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Default Jul 28, 2021 at 02:59 PM
  #642
I tried to get a sooner appointment with my therapist. Turns out he only works Mondays and Tuesdays. I didn't know what. What a pain. He is booked next week (of course) but she put me on a wait list. So I guess if there is a cancellation or something they can call me. Then I have my regular scheduled appointment on the 10th. So much for trying to get help sooner. Mental Health care sucks around here.

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Default Jul 28, 2021 at 03:02 PM
  #643
The pharmacy keeps texting me and telling me I am out of refills for the Latuda. I am like I should have another one because my Dr sends them in threes. But because I saw him a month early he may have thought I had one from back then. So I called the pharmacy. They said I have a script for 40 mg of Latuda but I think I am on 60 mg of Latuda. And now I don't know what I am supposed to take. So I called my pdoc's office. No one answered. So I left a message on his voicemail explaining who I was, my phone number and what the problem was. Sometimes he goes hiking and camping in the woods though and is out of cell phone range. I think I only have two pills left. If I run out the hallucinations might come back full force. I am worried about that. Last time he got back to me at the end of the day so I am hopeful he will get back to me at the end of the day. He usually works Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. So hopefully I hear from him and hopefully he knows what I am supposed to be taking and hopefully he can get a prescription called into my pharmacy so I don't run out. What a pain.

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Default Jul 28, 2021 at 03:03 PM
  #644
And, I just want to whine. My arm hurts from the recent SH. That still doesn't stop me from wanting to do more though. I'm such an idiot.

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Default Jul 28, 2021 at 04:40 PM
  #645
I’m craving some macaroni and cheese. Like super cheesy made with real cheese baked Mac and cheese. And a milkshake. Omg that would be so good right now.

But I’m getting food from that place on Sunday. Fried chicken or chicken strips, fries and bubble tea.

On Friday I’m going to that cleanup/lunch day outside. I think we’re having hotdogs or burgers or something like that.

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Default Jul 28, 2021 at 04:41 PM
  #646
Quote:
Originally Posted by SlumberKitty View Post
The pharmacy keeps texting me and telling me I am out of refills for the Latuda. I am like I should have another one because my Dr sends them in threes. But because I saw him a month early he may have thought I had one from back then. So I called the pharmacy. They said I have a script for 40 mg of Latuda but I think I am on 60 mg of Latuda. And now I don't know what I am supposed to take. So I called my pdoc's office. No one answered. So I left a message on his voicemail explaining who I was, my phone number and what the problem was. Sometimes he goes hiking and camping in the woods though and is out of cell phone range. I think I only have two pills left. If I run out the hallucinations might come back full force. I am worried about that. Last time he got back to me at the end of the day so I am hopeful he will get back to me at the end of the day. He usually works Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. So hopefully I hear from him and hopefully he knows what I am supposed to be taking and hopefully he can get a prescription called into my pharmacy so I don't run out. What a pain.

I hope he gets back to you today!

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Default Jul 28, 2021 at 05:17 PM
  #647
ugh there's this recipe for edible peanut butter cookie dough for one (no eggs in it) and I know it by heart now, it's so good, and I just want to make some but I'm trying to lose weight, I can't stop thinking about it

Or make 3 ingredient peanut butter cookies

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Default Jul 28, 2021 at 05:25 PM
  #648
Peanut butter cookies sound good. Plus don't you have that 5lb container of PB?

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Default Jul 28, 2021 at 05:26 PM
  #649
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Peanut butter cookies sound good. Plus don't you have that 5lb container of PB?
Yes I do haha

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Default Jul 28, 2021 at 05:27 PM
  #650
The demon is back in my head. I talked/texted with one of my support peeps. I don't think she knows what to think because she was like. Get some rest. Hope you feel better. Keep reaching out. But nothing truly helpful. Although it's good to know I can keep talking to her. I suppose she can confer with Pastor T (that's her husband) on what to do about the voice in my head. Stupid voices. Telling me to hurt myself.

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Default Jul 28, 2021 at 05:40 PM
  #651
They’re in the oven now Roll Call 186

Baking puts me in a good mood

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Default Jul 28, 2021 at 05:45 PM
  #652
I realize that the state of mind while hearing voices determines how bad they can be perceived. When I was 16, I thought that it was normal based on how stressed out I was so no big deal.

But solipsistic dissociative ones were hell. "STOP FOR THE LOVE OF **** STOP".. Constant they were one after the other.. on edge of panic is bad too if you have anxiety.

I discovered a new form of solipsism where everyones reality changes individually based on information patterns.. so it's almost a choice - If you decide to look at conspiracies, they can come true.. and I'm just a messed up brain anyways and figure meh my time has come but also there's faith in the Gods to keep going somewhat.
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Default Jul 28, 2021 at 06:27 PM
  #653
I feel pretty depressed today. I think it's from the new medicine we added. The Buspar.

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Default Jul 28, 2021 at 06:28 PM
  #654
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And, I just want to whine. My arm hurts from the recent SH. That still doesn't stop me from wanting to do more though. I'm such an idiot.

You're not an idiot!

Rather, you are a thoughtful, caring person.

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Default Jul 28, 2021 at 08:28 PM
  #655
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I feel pretty depressed today. I think it's from the new medicine we added. The Buspar.
Buspar = Full agonist of 5HT1A receptors.

"5-HT1A receptor activation has been shown to increase dopamine release in the medial prefrontal cortex, striatum, and hippocampus, and may be useful for improving the symptoms of schizophrenia and Parkinson's disease.[39] As mentioned above, some of the atypical antipsychotics are 5-HT1A receptor partial agonists, and this property has been shown to enhance their clinical efficacy.[39][40][41] Enhancement of dopamine release in these areas may also play a major role in the antidepressant and anxiolytic effects seen upon postsynaptic activation of the 5-HT1A receptor"

"5-HT1A receptor activation likely plays a significant role in the positive effects of serotonin releasing agents (SRAs) like MDMA (commonly known as ecstasy) as well."

Wait quietly for a few weeks while these receptors sensitize!
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Default Jul 28, 2021 at 10:02 PM
  #656
I have such a bad headache right now

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Default Jul 28, 2021 at 10:23 PM
  #657
I feel like I'm dying
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Default Jul 28, 2021 at 11:55 PM
  #658
Why can't I just chill and watch a movie or read without overthinking everything that I should be doing - Yet I procrastinate those things?

It's hell. I'm sure that it's not anxiety. What could it be? Please tell me if you know.
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Default Jul 28, 2021 at 11:57 PM
  #659
It could be negative symptoms/poor executive function.

I know the right thoughts that I should be having but I can't just reach up and grab them - And ignoring them are what leads to delusions/paranoia/distress.

I have so much insight that it's stupid.
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Default Jul 29, 2021 at 12:43 AM
  #660
I just needa calm tf down. I deleted the ****ed up posts.

I'll sleep..
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