Roll Call 186

An hour left of work......

I feel like I'm in an episode of black mirror or some dystopia where I'm going to die soon.

I did a 23 minute mindfulness meditation for anxiety last night. It helped with my anxiety. I might do some yoga tonight, not sure. Probably will though. It makes me feel more centered.

Can't get on the treadmill tomorrow because I have 2 appointments, laundry and cleaning to do. So I'm just going to do some weights, squats and exercises w/ resistance bands, and possibly yoga again if I have time. But Wednesday I'm going to get two walks in because I have to walk to CVS to pick up my meds then later to Family Dollar.

Thursday I'm going to my friends house, and I have to walk there and it's a long walk so that's some exercise. We're gonna play Pokemon TCG and the Lord of the Rings LCG. Can't wait actually! It's gonna be a lot of fun. Then Sunday I'm going to the park/lake area with my sister if the weather's nice. Otherwise I'll just have her over for coffee.

I need to start planning out what I'm going to get my family and friends for Christmas. I know it's early but I like to have an idea of what to get them so I can do my shopping in October or November and have it out of the way, so I can wrap stuff in December.

I Christmas shop early too BB. Can't afford to do it all at one time!

Thinking of taking $$ out of savings and paying off my car. I have 9 payments left so it is getting manageable. But it would be so nice to not have a car payment. I think I'm going to do it.

Same here, it's definitely easier to get gifts over several months than buy everything at once

I got a 3 pack of cutting boards. They're really nice and there are 3 sizes, regular, medium, and small. I'm hoping to get better at chopping vegetables/produce and whatnot and cooking. It will be much easier than trying to cut stuff on plates. Idk why it's taken me a year and a half to buy cutting boards but oh well, I have them now

My Christmas shopping is done in that I don’t buy Christmas presents lmao.

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Right? It helps my morning anxiety so much if I take a hot shower in the morning. Good sleep would help but that's not an option for me, this is the only thing that really works.

Hi everyone. = )

Congrats Newtus!!!
You'll make a great one =)

Has anyone here done EDMR for PTSD? It does something with the eyes and makes the person relive their trauma which sounds uncomfortable but if done with a professional it woudl help process trauma. Will this just retraumatize me? I wonder how much it costs. I need serious help so I'm willing to try it if i can find it somwhere for a reasonable price.

I'm so stressed out about my apartment inspection, I'm literally crying. I feel like they're all going to try to get me kicked out or something. My neighbors are probably plotting against me

I bought 4x USB drives to make the Monero Wallet

A step-by-step guide for cold storage and offline transaction signing with optimal security. For dummies. : Monero

I'm getting red bumps all over me. Idk what they are. I'll have to see the doctor. Reality keeps getting weird for me. It is my time to go =P

God I want to read books but I can easily just go to bed.. If some1 has a solution to this let me know

Idk if this will help or not, but something that has helped me in the past is reading with a pencil in hand (even if you don’t underline anything) just so it keeps you alert. That and coffee.

It’s night....sleep and read when you wake up?

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I work 4 mornings a week and another 2 days a week, I hike.. It is only Thursday that is left..

It's going to be okay BB. You have gotten through these inspections before and you are going to get through this one. You showed up for the pick up trash around the place thing, which was awesome. And your sister has been over to your apartment. She doesn't think it is dirty. I really think you're going to be okay. Try not to give into the thoughts.

I see Dr K tonight telehealth. Have to tell him about my relapse but it was 15 days ago. It feels like it was ages ago and not relevant although I know in my head that it is relevant. Just it's not fresh in my mind and it's not as urgent. Having an appointment with him last week would have been more helpful. I don't know. Maybe I should find another T or pack it all in and give up on the whole venture. At least I can also talk about my nervousness over tomorrow's diagnostic mammogram and diagnostic ultrasound. He will probably not be sympathetic. He's not the sympathetic sort. He's like, that isn't too long to wait. That isn't a big deal. Well it's a big deal to me. I'm actually not nervous nervous. Just a little worried. If it is cancer I'll deal with it. I was lucky last time because it hadn't spread and was able to be surgically removed. And I do have a cancer insurance policy that will pay out if I get cancer and can't work for a while. Thank you Colonial Life. But it probably isn't cancer. It's likely something benign. Statistically.

I'll keep you in my prayers Kit