Roll Call 186

From now on I think all I can post is horrors

No nvm but I'm severely lacking motivation. I don't get DP/DR anymore but the philosophy that nothing is real is still there. Like a glass wall between me and everything else.

I've been emotionally overeating/binge eating due to some stress lately. I'm trying to incorporate meditation/yoga/prayer into my life so I can learn to sit with my emotions and not try to make my self "feel better" with food." It's called urge surfing. I want to have a healthier body, even more than losing weight. I need to start taking better care of myself. Drinking more water, actually eating vegetables, less sugar and junk food, less caffeine (use it more strategically) , walking more/being more active. Like walking outside and also on the treadmill, and doing reps with weights, resistance band exercises. Taking care of my mental health by cutting down on screen time and spending more time on productive hobbies like practicing ukulele, reading and learning, exploring the outside world, getting dental checkups, physicals.

Oh yeah, forgot to add, hygiene and sleep (I can't sleep right now tonight because I'm coughing my head off)

I need to work on myself over the next year, a little at a time

I have a bad habit of restricting when I'm trying to lose weight due to my ED from the past. And it always backfires, either I end up sick/in the hospital or I end up bingeing.

I feel better after olanzepine.. the poison..

I have so much excitement. I can't contain =]

I walked to CVS to pick up my meds and get a bunch of groceries, the heat index is 90 degrees, I walked back home for a mile entirely up a very steep hill carrying all that stuff.. I felt like I was gonna die or have a heat stroke, I had to keep taking breaks, setting my bags down and standing there catching my breath. Glad to be home in the AC now

I plan on getting in much better shape.

Oh yeah, I'm off perphenazine now (with my doctor's permission), I still have it in case I need it but I stopped it last night. So we'll see how that goes. I'm doing pretty well on the abilify injections and thorazine so I feel like I probably will be okay off of it. Plus I don't want to be on 3 APs, for health reasons.

I woke up this morning at 6am, had some coffee, listened to my Bible study podcast, read a little of the yoga book I got for free for my Kindle, then read a little bit of another book. It was peaceful. Then I washed my face with a facial cleanser, put on a moisturizer/sunscreen combo, got dressed, then fell asleep for about 30-40 minutes. Then I did my CVS trip, since my insurance suddenly will no longer cover sending prescriptions in the mail like I was getting for the past year.

I'm so ecstatic that I'll be getting a cat soon. I miss having one so much, I miss my kitties. I've been looking at litterboxes, food/water dishes, cat toys, cat beds, scratching posts, etc online. I'll probably buy the essentials sometime next month

I opened my window blinds for like the first time since moving here. I'm always paranoid that people are watching me., (even though I'm on the 3rd floor) and I like staying in my safe little cave I've created for myself but I know natural light is good for you

Anyone ever had watermelon mixed with pineapple? It might have a name, I'm not sure. My coworker brought some back from San Jose, CA and gave me two sandwich size baggies of it. It's yellow like pineapple, but it tastes like watermelon. Mind boggling! It's good though! Now how to I count this on Noom....as watermelon or as pineapple?

I’m ready for this appt Monday. I’ve been so dang sick and throwing up etc. Blah

"We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"

The Dopamine Flux
www.thedopamineflux.com

Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII

morning sickness?

I don't know why, but I've been tired the past couple of days. I slept in until 5:30 AM today and yesterday I slept in until 6:15 AM (I leave for work at 6:30 AM)! I could barely drag myself out of bed. At least tomorrow I can sleep in a little bit but I have a Zoom Religious study at 9 AM and then Sunday I have to be at Church by 8:45 AM. I almost called in today to go back to sleep but I didn't. I made myself come to work. Then I was done with my work after about 2 hours. I am waiting for some reports so I can do a little more work. But I'll probably get them late in the day and have to do them on Monday because that is my luck. Also I spent the morning trying to get a hold of our broker because our worker's comp is expiring at the end of the month and we need a quote so we can have insurance starting in September. Finally got a response that she's going to schedule a visit next week. So that's good, anyhow.

Oh yeah, I was having this weird distorted dream where I was getting married in a psych hospital. Talk about strange! I don't remember if I was marrying a patient or a doctor. I wanted to finish the dream kind of because it was sort of strange and for once I wasn't having a nightmare about the psych hospital. But of course when I fell back asleep I didn't fall back into the same dream.

Yes and headaches ugh

"We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"

The Dopamine Flux
www.thedopamineflux.com

Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII

Growing a baby is hard work! You can do this mama! hang in there! here's wishing you feel better soon!

I've gotten quite a bit of work done today. Just working from home. It's kinda lonely but I feel productive at least.

Omg thank you so much 🥲

"We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"

The Dopamine Flux
www.thedopamineflux.com

Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII

I like the hot days. Summer goes so fast. I wish this place had a swimming pool, it would be fantastic. I used to swim every morning when I was young, I miss it!

Sent from my Nokia C2 Tennen using Tapatalk

Not me, I like Autumn. I can't wait. I just bought a cardigan with dinosaurs on it!

There are yellow watermelons if that’s what you mean?