Roll Call 186

Nah, I didn't.

Yeah sometimes stuff like that is hard to get up the motivation to do. I was tempted to call off work today but I didn't. In this case it was probably good because I got distracted for a while anyway. But I did spend half the day on My Support Forums. Lol.

Angelique, are you okay? I haven't seen your posts for a few days. I think I got caught up on the roll call since I was out. HUGS Kit

Also on my mind is the fact that I might be moving out of my parents' house but I am now getting lukewarm about it because it just doesn't seem as tempting as it was before. I don't know what to do. I also have a headache and I don't feel that well.

Sorry about the headache, WA. You don't have to decide right now whether or not to move out of your parents house. You can take some time to decide. Hope you feel better soon!

If it helps I still live at home. Free food. Free laundry service. Free cleaning service. Heck why would I move and be an adult? Only partially kidding.

Here's a good article on it, it's really good. I like to get coconut milk tea with popping mango boba

Boba Explained: Types of Bubble Tea, and How to Order - Eater

I'm thinking of trying out this sheet pan chicken fajita recipe sometime:

Sheet Pan Chicken Fajitas - Damn Delicious

I hope one week without my abilify injection doesn't cause weird side effects or withdrawals or anything

((hugs SK))

12am, your painting is getting better every time you complete something = )

I took off this coming up monday so it will be a 3 day weekend. I have big plans for this weekend. The afterglow has worn off. : / I wonder if it is neurogenesis effects. Desoxyn, this is your expertise, do you know if this could have long term effects?

Your antipsychotic is a 5HT2A receptor agonist - The mush does the opposite. Any benzos that you've taken will stop the afterglow because benzos/seroquel/olanzepine are used as "ideal trip killers".

"Colors get enhanced with increased conscious awareness and reduced autopilot awareness.

Our body benefits most by becoming autopilot. It's what learning is about. So perhaps learning is reduced.

This could occur due to GABA effects. Reduced learning may increase the novelty of life more and allow you to focus better. Because everything will be more interesting because it makes less obvious sense right away.

Try to realize that consciousness and learning can be opposites in a way. Learning aims to reduce consciousness and increase habit and auto pilot behaviors. Consciousness is comes in when you experience novel things."

- So that's kind of what an afterglow means i think. During the session, right side of brain creativity is increased and after a while, analytical left brain pattern recognition is increased more than before taking. So long periods between sessions is best otherwise you can screw things up and end up with Alice and Wonderland Syndrome or Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder (HPPD).

But this is also present in spiritual awakening and schizophrenia. Prolonged psychosis can solidify unrelated patterns which can be hard to break. idk. If schizophrenia is caused by trauma, dealing with the trauma/avoidance of pain, suffering and masking, filtering .. by increasing consciousness, the symptoms of schiz can get better. It's the opposite approach to blocking basically every receptor in the brain and making you partially dead/lowered consciousness (Cuz the wrong patterns in a higher consciousness state kills neurons.. same as neurons having reduced activity/firing compared to their potential.. So they die too).

Good environment and mind state before taking antipsychotics or psychedelics is key.

I'm thinking of calling my doctor tomorrow and having her send out a prescription for abilify tablets so I can just take those instead of waiting to get my injection a week late. I've gotten better with taking pills so maybe I can just switch to the tablets instead

Our resident in-house scientist

Also SP

"We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"

The Dopamine Flux
www.thedopamineflux.com

Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII

Was sooooo busy today

BUT

Went to the post office. Filled my gas tank up. Got an eye exam. And went to therapy.

God I’m so proud of myself.

"We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"

The Dopamine Flux
www.thedopamineflux.com

Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII

I'm really losing my mind.

Every time I lay down to sleep for the last few nights I hear a rhythmic tapping as if by a tree branch on a window. But it's like, through my wall, like it's coming from my neighbors apartment.

Idk if I'm hallucinating this? I can't fricking sleep listening to the tapping all the time.

I can't hear it at all when not trying to sleep......

I've really been battling a lot of anxiety this week, so far. Part of it is just anxiety about getting anxious. Part of it is I'm having trouble getting a couple of prescriptions filled which is really just a nuisance and not a crisis--I need to remind myself that. Part of it is the change of the new dog and getting to know her. And part of it turned out to be my fasting too much.

I'll eat today and meditate. I'll take another break from drawing and go to my folk's place for dinner this evening. (Our usual date). I'm already feeling better just thinking about this.

Hope everyone has a peaceful day.

I suppose I have anxiety. But I like it. I took a benzo yesterday and felt more comfortable - But I didn't feel productive. I thought it could be paranoia - But no, it was anxiety. I think it was cuz I had two strong coffees yesterday morning instead of one.

I just need to meditate and such. It's hard for me to live. There's so much I can't feel - Bit of anhedonia. I know if I use ecstasy, I'll feel so much ecstasy/euphoric depression/hypomania but I'll be less analytical.

I've been sleeping a LOT lately.. I haven't used a sleeping pill in like a week. I think it might have something to do with the vaccine idk.. But I drink a strong coffee every morning with Vyvanse.

I use all of my meds and chems intuitively. My intuition of using them has prevented death.

My desk is supposed to arrive today.. Then I will be happy..

Sorry falcon, I hope whatever it is goes away and you can get some sleep

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I decided to just wait for my injection instead of switching over to the pills. So I get it next Tuesday. I think I’ll be okay until then even though it’s late.

I weighed myself today. And I’m 155 lbs. which isn’t bad considering how I was eating for awhile. I thought I would have gained like 25 lbs over the past several months of not weighing myself. I’d like to get down to 130lbs. I think that’s reasonable.

Made some hard boiled eggs today. I’m wanting to start cooking more and experimenting with recipes. Next Friday I’m making banana bread

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Great job! I want to have one of those productive days again. I haven’t had one this past week.

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My next therapy appointment is on Monday. And it’s in-person!!! I’m excited , it’s been a looooong time since we’ve had an in-person appointment.

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