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Default Aug 01, 2021 at 04:57 PM
  #741
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Made a tumeric and chamomile tea... Should be relaxing sigh
This is quite relaxing btw. More relaxing than weed like half of a benzo.
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Desoxyn
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Default Aug 01, 2021 at 05:31 PM
  #742
I'm sure antipsychotics make my ADHD worse. Maybe I just had increased dopamine during stress... I didn't need to be given a tone of antipsychotic. So then I look for ways to increase dopamine ever since.
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Default Aug 01, 2021 at 06:42 PM
  #743
Drinking an iced matcha latte and playing Animal Crossing: New Horizons, enjoying the fireworks in the game I was feeling kind of upset before I started playing but it helped calm me down

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Default Aug 01, 2021 at 09:13 PM
  #744
I'm going to ask my care manager to help get me into some sort of vocational counseling so I can get a part-time job through ticket to work. I think I'm going to do that now and wait on going back to college until I work a little bit and figure out what really interests me/what I want to make a career out of so I'm not wasting my time taking classes that end up not benefitting me. Then after I work for maybe a year or so I'll start college again part-time in addition to that. I already made my final payment to what I owe my college today.

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Default Aug 01, 2021 at 09:14 PM
  #745
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Originally Posted by Desoxyn View Post
This is quite relaxing btw. More relaxing than weed like half of a benzo.

Kava tea is extremely good too

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Default Aug 01, 2021 at 09:17 PM
  #746
It should be easier to stick to a normal sleep routine when I have some place I have to be at a certain time a few days of the week

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Default Aug 01, 2021 at 09:18 PM
  #747
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It should be easier to stick to a normal sleep routine when I have some place I have to be at a certain time a few days of the week

It kinda is. I find when I’m busy back to back the whole day, I sleep very very well, the whole night. But I don’t necessarily feel as refreshed as if I didn’t have much to do for that day. Because I’m so exhausted.

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Default Aug 01, 2021 at 09:25 PM
  #748
My days are become busier. Nothing I can’t seem to handle so far but this medicine (haldol) is making me sleep all night I believe as well as during the day. Will have to get off it soon tho. I think. As Ive tested positive again for pregnancy. I really thought I was gonna fall asleep on the highway after I got my hair done the other day. Which turned out bad btw like really bad. IMO not much I can do with it. It’s a bob with bangs now. Ugh. Idk how to style it anymore. So, so much for that.

Dustin has been really supportive through all of this. And people seem to take this news much better than the first time. (I miscarried back in January). Again, having to find out peoples (read: families) true colors. It’s awful. My moms side if the family will most likely think I’m a sinner for having a baby out of wedlock. Yet my mom had me out of wedlock. Yet again the black sheep no matter what I do.

I feel very, very alone in this tho besides with Dustin and his family. My dad is great. My mom… she is pushing me to get married and to get baptized and like everything under the sun and telling me the negatives of pregnancy and it really sucks when I already have a hard time in general staying positive about life, I’ll admit.

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Default Aug 02, 2021 at 12:40 PM
  #749
I'm making myself anxious by worrying about things that might happen in the future. I've thrown up almost every morning in over a week. It was particularly bad last week but I'm working to let go of worrying thoughts and it's calming me down so far today. I did a guided meditation this morning and it didn't make me anxious like it did last Thursday. (I can get anxious about getting anxious.)

I went over to the folk's place yesterday and had a nice visit. I bring the new dog with me and she is so well behaved there. (She's turning out to be a pretty good dog.)

Today is laundry day which should help me relax more. It's a nice mindless chore. But I threw up twice this morning so I'm going to also rest.

Hope everyone has a peaceful day.

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Default Aug 02, 2021 at 01:48 PM
  #750
Just saw my therapist. She’s going to coordinate with my care manager to help get me into vocational rehabilitation so I can get a part time job

She thinks my plan for getting a part-time job and working for a year or so then adding in part-time college in addition to that (once I've worked for 1-2 years) is a really good idea

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Last edited by Blue_Bird; Aug 02, 2021 at 02:22 PM..
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Default Aug 02, 2021 at 02:23 PM
  #751
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My days are become busier. Nothing I can’t seem to handle so far but this medicine (haldol) is making me sleep all night I believe as well as during the day. Will have to get off it soon tho. I think. As Ive tested positive again for pregnancy. I really thought I was gonna fall asleep on the highway after I got my hair done the other day. Which turned out bad btw like really bad. IMO not much I can do with it. It’s a bob with bangs now. Ugh. Idk how to style it anymore. So, so much for that.

Dustin has been really supportive through all of this. And people seem to take this news much better than the first time. (I miscarried back in January). Again, having to find out peoples (read: families) true colors. It’s awful. My moms side if the family will most likely think I’m a sinner for having a baby out of wedlock. Yet my mom had me out of wedlock. Yet again the black sheep no matter what I do.

I feel very, very alone in this tho besides with Dustin and his family. My dad is great. My mom… she is pushing me to get married and to get baptized and like everything under the sun and telling me the negatives of pregnancy and it really sucks when I already have a hard time in general staying positive about life, I’ll admit.

Idk if you're on Tapatalk, I think you usually are so you can't see hugs but I put a hug reaction on your post

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Default Aug 02, 2021 at 04:13 PM
  #752
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Idk if you're on Tapatalk, I think you usually are so you can't see hugs but I put a hug reaction on your post

Oooh thank you so much. If you guys “thank” it, that’s tapatalks only reaction thingy so I’ll know I’ve been acknowledged or hugged or anything. I appreciate it Roll Call 186 so kind of you Roll Call 186

Haha I was like “did no one want to read my post Roll Call 186

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Default Aug 02, 2021 at 04:58 PM
  #753
My doctors advice these past 2-3 years can be summed down to "Stop being yourself" which kills my vibe. Both my mom and sister hate him and says he's a moron.
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Default Aug 02, 2021 at 05:41 PM
  #754
I meditated sitting in a chair for 5 minutes.. It's hard but I feel better.. 10 more minutes I'll do this..
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Default Aug 02, 2021 at 06:05 PM
  #755
It is 10 minutes later.. I did it.. I have a hell of a lot of thoughts.. They just keep going and going. I thought of a moment that made me mad but I just made a deep breath and moved onto the next thought..

I'm gonna do this regularly. I realize how I'm always constantly in the moment and that's OK. I decide which way to turn - To chaos/excitement and manifesting problems for myself, - Or to peace..

You can't find peace in excitement but you can find excitement in peace I think. I wondered - Should I go right or left? What if they're swapped? And so it twirls around itself and drops to the ground like a helicopter leaf.. The constant swirling.

+ Taking a look at myself.. "What do I need?", "Am I doing the right thing?", "Should I make my own opinions and decisions at the expense of others?", etc..

I wonder how a benzo is not needed when I am all there is.. I wondered how Alan Watts managed to get so much out of learning Eastern philosophy and Zen etc.. He must have just took the thing as a joke and learned from it immediately. He says to not take reality so seriously. Maybe that's genius idk.

I thought, "Must I find a teacher to show me the way?" - But they are all me.. Idk.. I am content at where I am now.. It's very OK - Because as I walked out of work today, there was a man and a woman that got out of their cars and started yelling at each other. The man in particular was having a meltdown and I thought, "Well it's a pandemic, excuse me while I get out of your way"...

But yeah.. I think meditation even for a few minutes can help with mental health - Just a reset. It must be great with psychedelics possibly too. It's like a natural jinx and when others look at it, they're like "He/she's just stupid! How can someone trick themselves into a belief system so easily?" - My opened mind, sir/ma'am...

And when people say "I don't have time to meditate", the response should be "Do you have time to breathe??"
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Default Aug 02, 2021 at 06:14 PM
  #756
I'm not very good at making goals.. I don't like goals.. But I'll meditate for 15 minutes every day - Especially after work.
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Default Aug 02, 2021 at 08:46 PM
  #757
Getting my Abilify injection tomorrow morning. Then when I get home I'll walk to Family Dollar to buy some food. After that I'll clean my apartment, and make some spaghetti for dinner

I've cut back on caffeine. I only had one cup of caffeinated coffee today. My anxiety skyrockets during PMS which is what I'm dealing with right now, so I have to cut back during that. I even noticed my anxiety spike a little bit after one cup of coffee, but I didn't want to not have any, because I'm used to having many cups a day and I don't want to deal with caffeine withdrawal

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Default Aug 02, 2021 at 08:58 PM
  #758
Hey everybody, I'm well, this month is going to be pretty crazy for me. I'm going to take a week off the beginning of September to read a good book and get some writing done. I had an event happen to me over this weekend, wasn't good but I'm back in business now. Learned a valuable lesson from a grave mistake.

Desoxyn, thanks for talking to me Saturday, that helped me out. = )
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Default Aug 02, 2021 at 10:50 PM
  #759
I'm going to go through some of my possessions and get rid of what I don't want or need anymore. I'm trying to be more minimalistic

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Default Aug 02, 2021 at 11:01 PM
  #760
I just closed my eyes for a split second and saw a vision of maggots. Now seeing spiders come out of my nose.

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