Roll Call 187

Desoxyn · Aug 20, 2021 at 01:35 PM

Why do they always take away the Vyvanse!! Christ..

Sometimes psychotic · Aug 20, 2021 at 01:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desoxyn

Why do they always take away the Vyvanse!! Christ..

Because it’s the exact opposite of an AP......

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junkDNA · Aug 20, 2021 at 02:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

Because it’s the exact opposite of an AP......

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

Seriously lol

newtus · Aug 20, 2021 at 05:34 PM

My dad bought me tamales for dinner, for my birthday.

newtus · Aug 20, 2021 at 05:34 PM

My birthday isn’t until next Friday though

Desoxyn · Aug 20, 2021 at 06:38 PM

I can never relax i need barbiturates

But I'm understanding many things.. Cognition is all there.. A lot of thoughts.. Apathy, frustration, pain.. But also content that I'm not being as ignorant and avoidant of everything.. I am coming more out of my shell in a way - To the world..

It just seems like everything that I do is wrong and I haven't caught up to dealing with yesterday let alone than with today. And it's been going like this for months or a year. Idk wtf is happening.

Desoxyn · Aug 20, 2021 at 07:11 PM

But it's good.. Things are good.. I'm balancing a horrific amount of insanity and weirdness of reality..

newtus · Aug 20, 2021 at 07:41 PM

It’s like my stomach never stops hurting. This sucks. So over this first trimester, really am.

newtus · Aug 20, 2021 at 08:12 PM

Does anyone go off feelings when doing something?

Like “I feel like writing”

Or

“I don’t feel like doing (this/that)”

I notice my feelings dictate what I do during the day.

I feel strong negative energy towards something or an activity, I don’t do it. And vice versa, positive energy.

But im starting to think this isn’t good. But I can’t help but do this…

WastingAsparagus · Aug 20, 2021 at 08:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

Does anyone go off feelings when doing something?

Like “I feel like writing”

Or

“I don’t feel like doing (this/that)”

I notice my feelings dictate what I do during the day.

I feel strong negative energy towards something or an activity, I don’t do it. And vice versa, positive energy.

But im starting to think this isn’t good. But I can’t help but do this…

Yeah I do that sometimes. I sometimes procrastinate a lot because of it. Because if I just went off of my feelings, I probably wouldn't accomplish much.

WastingAsparagus · Aug 20, 2021 at 08:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

My dad bought me tamales for dinner, for my birthday.

That sounds great, I love tamales.

Desoxyn · Aug 20, 2021 at 08:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

Does anyone go off feelings when doing something?

Like “I feel like writing”

Or

“I don’t feel like doing (this/that)”

I notice my feelings dictate what I do during the day.

I feel strong negative energy towards something or an activity, I don’t do it. And vice versa, positive energy.

But im starting to think this isn’t good. But I can’t help but do this…

I was thinking about this today.. I used to attempt to write prose poems/songs/paragraphs at an average of 2-3 times a month. I was like - "Well this is good.. I guess I only do this when I feel like writing". Same goes for playing guitar and I even started playing piano at one point.

It just has been slowly decreasing every month. It's been like a year and I haven't done these things.

I think it's a creative thing - Then doing something because you think that you must do it (And you do) is a way to bypass the thing and do it no matter what..

There has to be a balance between the two I think.. But you can still be happy following thought or feeling exclusively - Just prepare for the consequences of the deficit o.-

12AM · Aug 20, 2021 at 08:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

Does anyone go off feelings when doing something?

Like “I feel like writing”

Or

“I don’t feel like doing (this/that)”

I notice my feelings dictate what I do during the day.

I feel strong negative energy towards something or an activity, I don’t do it. And vice versa, positive energy.

But im starting to think this isn’t good. But I can’t help but do this…

Yeah I’m like this too. The solution for me is to make a schedule about things that I need to do. So that I won’t be a slave to my emotion, because my emotion is unreliable. Just like it’s better to have an eating schedule than eating whenever you’re hungry. Because you may not eat all day when you don’t feel like eating or you may eat all day just because you feel like it. Not saying that I follow my schedule all the time, just saying that the balance of logic and emotion should be the goal

Desoxyn · Aug 20, 2021 at 08:53 PM

I bought a box of mini cake powdered donuts

They are like cocaine

12AM · Aug 20, 2021 at 09:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desoxyn

I bought a box of mini cake powdered donuts

They are like cocaine

newtus · Aug 20, 2021 at 09:07 PM

See

Idk

I seem to *almost* strictly follow my feelings. Except for the stuff that has a deadline or involves other people like doctors appts and whatnot.

Otherwise I’m literally living my life doing as I feel. I procrastinate so much and I find it unbearably hard and teeth-pulling to follow a schedule or list.

Some things I have made unknowingly a habit and routine. Like calling my dad every morning.

I feel so guilty doing this and living my life this way. It weighs heavy on me. Because my parents judge me for it. But so much of this way has become this way because of my ill mental health the last decade or more.

I feel sick to my stomach thinking I’m someone who is like this.

I don’t think this latuda is working either. Which is so not good as I’m pregnant. Nothing seemingly dangerous. Just low mood a bit and paranoia/delusions. Thought someone cooked a rat and spliced it up in my tamales and I couldn’t eat them anymore. Been sad and just idk. I’m supposed to start a higher dose in less than a week tho. So idk.

newtus · Aug 20, 2021 at 09:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desoxyn

I bought a box of mini cake powdered donuts

They are like cocaine

They really are tho

Make sure they aren’t

No Jk

newtus · Aug 20, 2021 at 09:10 PM

I’ve been sad tho because I realized I won’t be getting much emotional support from others during this 9 months and it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life.

12AM · Aug 20, 2021 at 09:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

See

Idk

I seem to *almost* strictly follow my feelings. Except for the stuff that has a deadline or involves other people like doctors appts and whatnot.

Otherwise I’m literally living my life doing as I feel. I procrastinate so much and I find it unbearably hard and teeth-pulling to follow a schedule or list.

Some things I have made unknowingly a habit and routine. Like calling my dad every morning.

I feel so guilty doing this and living my life this way. It weighs heavy on me. Because my parents judge me for it. But so much of this way has become this way because of my ill mental health the last decade or more.

I feel sick to my stomach thinking I’m someone who is like this.

I don’t think this latuda is working either. Which is so not good as I’m pregnant. Nothing seemingly dangerous. Just low mood a bit and paranoia/delusions. Thought someone cooked a rat and spliced it up in my tamales and I couldn’t eat them anymore. Been sad and just idk. I’m supposed to start a higher dose in less than a week tho. So idk.

Probably not a good time to follow a schedule due to pregnancy. The first trimester I heard really mess up with your mood. Just take it easy, do things that makes you happy. Once the baby is born it’s unlikely you’ll follow your feelings anyway because you’ll follow the baby’s need. You got this young mama 💕

newtus · Aug 20, 2021 at 09:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 12AM

Probably not a good time to follow a schedule due to pregnancy. The first trimester I heard really mess up with your mood. Just take it easy, do things that makes you happy. Once the baby is born it’s unlikely you’ll follow your feelings anyway because you’ll follow the baby’s need. You got this young mama

Thank you so much

Yea I’m definitely not following a schedule now. Other than doctors appts and stuff. I’m so exhausted all the time and nauseaous and just general malaise. It sucks. I’m over this sickness stuff. Ready for baby to be here. 33 more weeks

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Roll Call 187

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Desoxyn Metaphysic Member Since Aug 2016 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 12,976 (SuperPoster!) 7 4,906 hugs given	Aug 20, 2021 at 01:35 PM #41 Why do they always take away the Vyvanse!! Christ..

newtus The Dopamine Flux Member Since Jun 2010 Location: Ardenweald Posts: 43,644 (SuperPoster!) 13 867 hugs given	Aug 20, 2021 at 05:34 PM #44 My dad bought me tamales for dinner, for my birthday. __________________ "We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living" The Dopamine Flux www.thedopamineflux.com Youtube channel https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII

newtus The Dopamine Flux Member Since Jun 2010 Location: Ardenweald Posts: 43,644 (SuperPoster!) 13 867 hugs given	Aug 20, 2021 at 05:34 PM #45 My birthday isn’t until next Friday though __________________ "We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living" The Dopamine Flux www.thedopamineflux.com Youtube channel https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII

Desoxyn Metaphysic Member Since Aug 2016 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 12,976 (SuperPoster!) 7 4,906 hugs given	Aug 20, 2021 at 07:11 PM #47 But it's good.. Things are good.. I'm balancing a horrific amount of insanity and weirdness of reality..

newtus The Dopamine Flux Member Since Jun 2010 Location: Ardenweald Posts: 43,644 (SuperPoster!) 13 867 hugs given	Aug 20, 2021 at 07:41 PM #48 It’s like my stomach never stops hurting. This sucks. So over this first trimester, really am. __________________ "We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living" The Dopamine Flux www.thedopamineflux.com Youtube channel https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII

Desoxyn Metaphysic Member Since Aug 2016 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 12,976 (SuperPoster!) 7 4,906 hugs given	Aug 20, 2021 at 08:53 PM #54 I bought a box of mini cake powdered donuts They are like cocaine