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Legendary Wise Elder
SlumberKitty
is staying stable.
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
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117.7k hugs
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#641
Yeah rumination is a problem for me too. I was tempted to call out from work today but I didn't because I would have been ruminating all day. Plus I had stuff to do at work today. I could have done it tomorrow but I have a couple of big things tomorrow and would rather spend my time on those things tomorrow.
__________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
WastingAsparagus
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Legendary Wise Elder
SlumberKitty
is staying stable.
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
(SuperPoster!)
117.7k hugs
given |
#642
UGH. After dealing with some hallucinations, I relapsed last night. I told my case manager R who is pretty stern about it but thanked me for my honesty. If I SH again I have to sign some sort of re-commitment contract for the IOP. Not sure what that is but I don't want to know so I can't relapse again while in this program. Then this morning I took a chance and emailed the T...J to let her know and to apologize for breaking our contract. R is going to let her know but I wanted to be the one to tell her. She thanked me for my honesty and said that my safety is number one concern and to contact her or R if I SH again before Friday but otherwise we'll talk about it on Friday. So far my insurance has only approved 10 days. R said this is common and he has to keep asking for more. I hope he can get more because 10 days is only 3 more meetings. I think I need more than that. Stupid insurance. I'm mad at them. I'm mad at myself. I haven't told my parents (yet) so that'll be interesting. I did tell two of my support peeps and they were really supportive and stuff like that. UGH. so many mixed up emotions. But I am trying not to judge the emotions. That wouldn't be good. And I have some homework to do before I see the T that way I have "worked on" it. She didn't assign it but I got the idea from one of the IOP classes.
__________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
Blue_Bird, Ceara1010, Desoxyn, WastingAsparagus
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Angelique67, Ceara1010
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Legendary Wise Elder
SlumberKitty
is staying stable.
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
(SuperPoster!)
117.7k hugs
given |
#643
It's funny because I didn't used to like Halloween. (I think it is my Judeo Christian Background). I was never comfortable celebrating it. But the past several years I have been helping out at our Church's Trunk or Treat. And it's cute seeing the children in their costumes and they are excited to get candy and stuff and I sort of got over my fear of Halloween. Now I can enjoy it. I don't like anything too scary, bloody, gory, or anything but regular stuff I can handle.
__________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
Angelique67, Blue_Bird, Ceara1010, Sometimes psychotic, WastingAsparagus
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Poohbah
Ceara1010
Is doing much better
Member Since: May 2016
Location: Texas USA
Posts: 1,168
1,121 hugs
given |
#644
I had a bit of a scare with tropical storm Nicholas yesterday but it turned to be not much of a storm--only a few trees down and I lost power for a few hours in the afternoon. But I was pretty anxious about it.
__________________ Men wanted for hazardous journey. Small wages, bitter cold, long hours of complete darkness. Safe return doubtful. Honour and recognition in event of success. -Ernest Shackleton |
Blue_Bird, SlumberKitty, WastingAsparagus
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Angelique67, Desoxyn, SlumberKitty
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Student of Life
WastingAsparagus
is trying to enjoy life.
Member Since: Mar 2014
Location: South America
Posts: 4,641
2,909 hugs
given |
#645
Quote:
I am sorry you experienced that. It's stressful trying to get insurance to pay for IOP - I can relate to that. In my case, they didn't pay any of it. Of course it varies. It's just cause I have a high deductible. Anyway, it's okay to be mad at insurance. I think we've all been there. Hope you can get the help and support you need from the IOP though. In my case, it really helped me out of a tough spot. Not saying my life is perfect now, but hopefully the IOP will help you out. __________________ "Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it!” |
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SlumberKitty
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Angelique67, SlumberKitty
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Legendary Wise Elder
SlumberKitty
is staying stable.
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
(SuperPoster!)
117.7k hugs
given |
#646
I really should try to get a shower this afternoon. UGH. I really don't want to. But I either need to do it this afternoon or tomorrow morning. And I know I'm not going to feel like doing it when I get up at 4 AM. IDK why it is so hard to get a shower. I usually feel better after I get one but getting myself to get my self in the shower is like pulling teeth. I haven't showered since Saturday so I am past time.
__________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
Blue_Bird
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Angelique67
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Legendary Wise Elder
Blue_Bird
is ready for recovery!
Member Since: Jun 2013
Location: Hogwarts
Posts: 36,660
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14.3k hugs
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#647
Having that chocolate peanut butter banana smoothie. It tastes really good and has no added sugars, just the sugar that occurs naturally in the banana, and also has spinach blended into it. It tastes like chocolate peanut butter ice cream kind of
__________________ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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SlumberKitty
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Angelique67, Sometimes psychotic
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Legendary Wise Elder
SlumberKitty
is staying stable.
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
(SuperPoster!)
117.7k hugs
given |
#648
That sounds delicious! I've been treating myself now and again to Tillamook's chocolate peanut butter ice cream. It could have more peanut butter for my taste but it's good and creamy! Enjoy!
__________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
Angelique67, Blue_Bird, Sometimes psychotic
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Legendary Wise Elder
Blue_Bird
is ready for recovery!
Member Since: Jun 2013
Location: Hogwarts
Posts: 36,660
(SuperPoster!)
14.3k hugs
given |
#649
I have a phone appointment with my primary care doctor tomorrow. Hopefully it goes well.
__________________ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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SlumberKitty
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Angelique67, Desoxyn, SlumberKitty, Sometimes psychotic
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Student of Life
WastingAsparagus
is trying to enjoy life.
Member Since: Mar 2014
Location: South America
Posts: 4,641
2,909 hugs
given |
#650
I don't know if I like this modafinil stuff...
__________________ "Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it!” |
Desoxyn, SlumberKitty, Sometimes psychotic
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SlumberKitty
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Legendary Wise Elder
Sometimes psychotic
Typo queen !
Member Since: May 2013
Location: Chicago
Posts: 26,409
(SuperPoster!)
22.8k hugs
given |
#651
Bf and I were considering a new TV, just a 4K but still an expense because we wanted at least a 55 inch for the downstairs even though we watch most of the tv in the bedroom. We ended up switching the tiny 32 inch bedroom tv for the downstairs tv which is 1080p and 40 inches....it makes a huge difference and we spent nothing!
Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk __________________ Hugs! |
SlumberKitty
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Angelique67, Desoxyn, newtus, SlumberKitty, WastingAsparagus
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Metaphysic
Desoxyn
We are one mind
Member Since: Aug 2016
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 12,961
(SuperPoster!)
4,902 hugs
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#652
I don't remember if I told you this but: Make sure you get enough sleep.. Because if you're sleep deprived, it can make you feel awake yet your cognition etc could not be working good.. It's like driving a car without coolant
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SlumberKitty
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Angelique67, SlumberKitty, WastingAsparagus
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Metaphysic
Desoxyn
We are one mind
Member Since: Aug 2016
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 12,961
(SuperPoster!)
4,902 hugs
given |
#653
I've been on the 10mg of olanzepine every evening for over a year now.. Only now I'm starting to have no symptoms of dissociation a few hours after I miss the dose. So I'll stay on antipsychotics for a few years - They don't seem to be doing much damage. The stimulant really helps with the side effects.
I feel good tonight. A night of euphoria again which is rare lately. I hope that this continues. I had a talk with my mom about conspiracies and such - I can't shake the feeling that it's all about control etc but talking to her helped because she's really smart, wise and aware. My dad will come to visit this month which makes me happy. He's like a shaman to me. Then I'll visit my family next month. I should stop dwelling on really 'out there' thoughts and ideas and just relax. I should live in a way where I accept the opposite of what I'm moderately paranoid about - Which is hard but I can do it. I've learned so much these past 5 years and have grown so much as a person.. I have a good amount of insight into multiple different things. I am thinking of learning about cryptography more until I know what I want to do - Cuz it's unrealistic to just focus on one thing all of the time. As long as my symptoms are controlled like they are now and that I feel like myself, I'll be ok =] Gotta live in the moment without worrying too much about the future and dwelling on the past or having regret. |
SlumberKitty
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Angelique67, Ceara1010, SlumberKitty, Sometimes psychotic, WastingAsparagus
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The Dopamine Flux
newtus
has no updates.
Member Since: Jun 2010
Location: Ardenweald
Posts: 43,644
(SuperPoster!)
867 hugs
given |
#654
Ice pops and fruit with yogurt
__________________ "We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"
The Dopamine Flux www.thedopamineflux.com Youtube channel https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII |
SlumberKitty
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Angelique67, SlumberKitty, Sometimes psychotic, WastingAsparagus
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Student of Life
WastingAsparagus
is trying to enjoy life.
Member Since: Mar 2014
Location: South America
Posts: 4,641
2,909 hugs
given |
#655
Quote:
Thanks for the suggestion. I like the analogy. Driving a car without coolant. __________________ "Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it!” |
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SlumberKitty
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SlumberKitty
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Legendary Wise Elder
Blue_Bird
is ready for recovery!
Member Since: Jun 2013
Location: Hogwarts
Posts: 36,660
(SuperPoster!)
14.3k hugs
given |
#656
My appointment is in an hour and a half. I'll see if he can prescribe the med for GERD and get back on the birth control patches.
Then tomorrow I'm going to try to go to the dentist, Next week I'm going to get my flu shot. I'm in the process of tapering off perphenazine (with my pdocs permission) and then after that, tapering off thorazine. I'm doing it the right way, slowly. Then when we talk again in October I might see about getting back on Topamax __________________ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
Last edited by Blue_Bird; Sep 16, 2021 at 10:48 AM.. |
SlumberKitty
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Angelique67, SlumberKitty, Sometimes psychotic
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Legendary Wise Elder
Sometimes psychotic
Typo queen !
Member Since: May 2013
Location: Chicago
Posts: 26,409
(SuperPoster!)
22.8k hugs
given |
#657
__________________ Hugs! |
SlumberKitty
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Angelique67, Blue_Bird, SlumberKitty
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Legendary Wise Elder
Blue_Bird
is ready for recovery!
Member Since: Jun 2013
Location: Hogwarts
Posts: 36,660
(SuperPoster!)
14.3k hugs
given |
#658
Thanks SP, I'll feel relieved once all these appointments are over and all the med changes are done. I'm trying to take care of myself
I didn't give the topamax a chance last time because I was having bad panic attacks and I thought it was because of that, but I was also drinking 7-8 cups of strong coffee a day at the time. So that may have been why. I'm going to give it another shot now that I'm only drinking 1 cup of caffeinated coffee or tea a day __________________ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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SlumberKitty
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Angelique67, SlumberKitty
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Poohbah
Ceara1010
Is doing much better
Member Since: May 2016
Location: Texas USA
Posts: 1,168
1,121 hugs
given |
#659
Woke up this morning in a distressed mood as I had a distressing dream that I don't remember. Then I had suicidal thoughts (although I'm not suicidal). Luckily I had my T appointment this morning so we talked about it all. It was kind of a disjointed session because I'm disjointed today but that's okay. We made progress.
__________________ Men wanted for hazardous journey. Small wages, bitter cold, long hours of complete darkness. Safe return doubtful. Honour and recognition in event of success. -Ernest Shackleton |
SlumberKitty, WastingAsparagus
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Angelique67, SlumberKitty
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Legendary Wise Elder
Sometimes psychotic
Typo queen !
Member Since: May 2013
Location: Chicago
Posts: 26,409
(SuperPoster!)
22.8k hugs
given |
#660
Quote:
Hugs Ceara ... Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk __________________ Hugs! |
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SlumberKitty
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SlumberKitty
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