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The Dopamine Flux
Member Since Jun 2010
Location: Ardenweald
Posts: 43,644
(SuperPoster!)
13 867 hugs
given |
#801
Quote:
Thank you so much And yea just realize your limits, which doesn’t mean you can’t do things, just that everyone has their limits with things. If you mess up one day, just remember that tomorrow is a new day! __________________ "We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"
The Dopamine Flux www.thedopamineflux.com Youtube channel https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII |
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Blue_Bird, SlumberKitty
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Angelique67, Blue_Bird, SlumberKitty
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Comfy Sedation
Member Since Sep 2012
Location: the woods
Posts: 19,301
(SuperPoster!)
11 8,149 hugs
given |
#802
__________________ |
SlumberKitty
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SlumberKitty
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Comfy Sedation
Member Since Sep 2012
Location: the woods
Posts: 19,301
(SuperPoster!)
11 8,149 hugs
given |
#803
__________________ |
Erti, Sometimes psychotic
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Comfy Sedation
Member Since Sep 2012
Location: the woods
Posts: 19,301
(SuperPoster!)
11 8,149 hugs
given |
#804
__________________ |
Erti, Sometimes psychotic
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
(SuperPoster!)
5 117.7k hugs
given |
#805
Last night the group therapist for IOP S (who I have always been a little afraid of) had me stay late to process the SH feelings I was having. That was kind. She didn't have to do that. She just offered. We came up with three coping strategies I could use that night and even though I didn't do them I didn't SH. The class last night in IOP was on shame and resilience. It was interesting. I think I may have narrowed down where my shame started in childhood. The hallucinations aren't bugging me too badly today. I had a visual that sort of freaked me out but I realized pretty quickly it was a visual. I'm having a few auditory hallucinations but not as much as yesterday. At least not yet. We are trying "talking back" to the hallucinations. I just don't want to be seen as that crazy lady who talks to herself.
__________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
Sometimes psychotic
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Angelique67
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
(SuperPoster!)
5 117.7k hugs
given |
#806
Yeah, I get that. Just they aren't medically trained so how do they really know? Anyway it threw me for a loop that she asked and I felt really bad like my wounds weren't good enough because they didn't need stitches and then I felt really ashamed when I had to show her the wounds. It felt like a shameful experience. Not a good tradeoff for some generic get some Neosporin and Gauze pads and tape. I mean I knew that already.
__________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
junkDNA
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Metaphysic
Member Since Aug 2016
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 12,987
(SuperPoster!)
7 4,912 hugs
given |
#807
I had a bad episode of depersonalization/derealization while at a restaurant with my parents. I took 0.25mg of clonazepam after the 10mg of olanzepine was kicking in but it didn't help so I took another 2x of them.. I finally started to feel better. I could have got away with just 0.5mg instead of 0.75mg.
Idk why it happened. Just so much stuff happened yesterday. I slept really well though. When I was panicking, I was paranoid of everyone talking in the restaurant and thought they could hear us. I kept fixating on "I" and "Die" etc, had no memory. I felt like nothing was real and I was just hallucinating everything being GOD (Solipsism). It's ****ing scary. I haven't had this happen in almost a year but I still bring the clonazepam everywhere I go incase it does happen. |
SlumberKitty, Sometimes psychotic
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Angelique67, SlumberKitty, unsure123
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
(SuperPoster!)
5 117.7k hugs
given |
#808
That sounds really scary Desoxyn. I'm sure it was not a pleasant experience. I am glad you slept well though. HUGS Kit
__________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
Desoxyn
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Metaphysic
Member Since Aug 2016
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 12,987
(SuperPoster!)
7 4,912 hugs
given |
#809
I didn't react to anyone's posts yet but read through them. My dad would look at my computer and be like "What are you doing!".. But hugs to all - Many seem to be going through tough ****.
<3 schizoids <3 I'm doing much better today. Nice focus from Vyvanse. I got a refill for everything from the doctor yesterday. My psychiatrist didn't contact me yet but my doctor will try. I'll be vacationing for a bit I think. I can finally relax. Ordering a burger at the restaurant rn. Reading the book on keto and fasting. I'm gonna send my dad texts about information and the pills he should take once I get the hang of it so he can prevent diabetes because he's pre-diabetic. He takes metformin. I want to try metformin too idk. |
SlumberKitty, Sometimes psychotic
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Angelique67, SlumberKitty, unsure123
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Comfy Sedation
Member Since Sep 2012
Location: the woods
Posts: 19,301
(SuperPoster!)
11 8,149 hugs
given |
#810
Quote:
__________________ |
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SlumberKitty
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SlumberKitty
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
(SuperPoster!)
5 117.7k hugs
given |
#811
Are you feeling better junkDNA? Weren't you sick a bit back? Sorry my memory is crap so I think that was you but I could have you mixed up. Anyway how you doing?
__________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
junkDNA
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The Dopamine Flux
Member Since Jun 2010
Location: Ardenweald
Posts: 43,644
(SuperPoster!)
13 867 hugs
given |
#812
Blah yea. I don’t need to be on here anyway. I’m going through too much and it’s just too much for me. It probably makes me take it out on others and I just am already taking breaks from my social medias. I really don’t need to be on here honestly, dealing with far too much. I had already told her sorry anyway. __________________ "We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"
The Dopamine Flux www.thedopamineflux.com Youtube channel https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII |
SlumberKitty
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SlumberKitty
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
(SuperPoster!)
5 117.7k hugs
given |
#813
Quote:
__________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
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Angelique67, Blue_Bird, Sometimes psychotic
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2013
Location: Hogwarts
Posts: 36,745
(SuperPoster!)
10 14.3k hugs
given |
#814
On Friday from 11-12pm I'm calling the bingo cards downstairs, then from 2-3pm I have that self-care group, then at 3-4pm I'm calling the bingo cards again (they're doing it twice separately because of social distancing)
__________________ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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SlumberKitty
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Angelique67, SlumberKitty, Sometimes psychotic
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Comfy Sedation
Member Since Sep 2012
Location: the woods
Posts: 19,301
(SuperPoster!)
11 8,149 hugs
given |
#815
__________________ |
SlumberKitty
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Angelique67, cogladaid, SlumberKitty, Sometimes psychotic
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since May 2013
Location: Chicago
Posts: 26,409
(SuperPoster!)
10 22.8k hugs
given |
#816
Quote:
Hugs newtus….. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk __________________ Hugs! |
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SlumberKitty
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SlumberKitty
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
(SuperPoster!)
5 117.7k hugs
given |
#817
Sounds like a busy day Blue_Bird but sounds fun.
__________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
Angelique67, Blue_Bird
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
(SuperPoster!)
5 117.7k hugs
given |
#818
Quote:
Sorry you've been sick though. I know that's super hard. Not feeling well is one of the hardest things we have to go through. Plus trying to take care of yourself when you are sick is like impossible. Sending you super strong super thick super duper hugs. I'm getting tested for Covid on Saturday. I don't have any symptoms but one of my coworkers got Covid. Luckily his is a mild case (so far) so I'm just doing it to be cautious but I don't think I have it. __________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
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junkDNA, Sometimes psychotic
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Angelique67
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
(SuperPoster!)
5 117.7k hugs
given |
#819
IOP is like honestly the most difficult thing I've done for myself.
__________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
Blue_Bird, junkDNA, Sometimes psychotic
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
(SuperPoster!)
5 117.7k hugs
given |
#820
Here's a kind of mediocre poem I sent to my individual T--J. She is trying to get me to express my feelings in words not in Self harm. I sent her one about hallucinations the other day. This one is about trying not to self harm but being a nine on a scale of one to ten with ten being self harming. That's how I feel today.
At a 9 Holding the ice cube to my arm feeling the transfer of energy from warm to cold Nothing is hurt yet everything is hurting How can I bear this mismatch--how do I stop this yearning? When my heart has a chasm that's too wide to jump When my head is pounding like waves to the shore Everything is spinning, everything is reeling No backup for this pain, no plan B for feelings Keeping the blade in a drawer though my arms cry for more Feeling like a train rode its way through my insides Shiny smooth metal gotta get you out of my mind Gotta stay in IOP, leave bad addictions behind This pain's unrelenting, it's unleashed at full power Nothing to stop it, no brakes to apply What to do with this pain when mere words aren't enough Gotta stretch out these days increase tolerance and stuff. __________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
Blue_Bird, junkDNA, Sometimes psychotic
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Angelique67
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