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Old 09-24-2021, 01:37 PM   #861
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I am pretty stable today. Just worried about covid honestly. Because transmission in my county is high.
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Old 09-24-2021, 01:42 PM   #862
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On a positive note, I did a translation contest - or at least I wrote a draft for one - today. I will probably submit it soon.
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Old 09-24-2021, 02:02 PM   #863
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Group went well, we made worry dolls w/ some craft materials

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Old 09-24-2021, 02:22 PM   #864
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This is the worry doll I made, it looks like a voodoo doll lol
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Old 09-24-2021, 02:48 PM   #865
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Happiness...

Although this morning I felt irritable. I threw the omberacetam away. 5mg dextroamphetamine tablets work for me and have no side effects.
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Old 09-24-2021, 03:08 PM   #866
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Just had a session with J. I thought we were going to talk more about self harm. We talked more about being autonomous and about life skills. She wants me to shower every day. I currently shower 2 x per week most weeks. I'm like.......what? She says if I get more autonomous and do more stuff then I will feel better about myself. I kind of dissociated throughout the session. Didn't really take good notes. We are going to meet twice next week. That's kind of nice.
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Old 09-24-2021, 03:23 PM   #867
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Just had a session with J. I thought we were going to talk more about self harm. We talked more about being autonomous and about life skills. She wants me to shower every day. I currently shower 2 x per week most weeks. I'm like.......what? She says if I get more autonomous and do more stuff then I will feel better about myself. I kind of dissociated throughout the session. Didn't really take good notes. We are going to meet twice next week. That's kind of nice.

That seems like a big jump, 2x a week straight to every day. Maybe try it and if you can’t do it try for 3 times a week, and build up from there. I don’t shower everyday. Usually I shower every other day at least unless I’m depressed. It’s less often. Sometimes I just don’t really need to shower so I skip a day here and there because I don’t go anywhere or am just lounging around and not sweating or anything.

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Old 09-24-2021, 03:24 PM   #868
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Just had a session with J. I thought we were going to talk more about self harm. We talked more about being autonomous and about life skills. She wants me to shower every day. I currently shower 2 x per week most weeks. I'm like.......what? She says if I get more autonomous and do more stuff then I will feel better about myself. I kind of dissociated throughout the session. Didn't really take good notes. We are going to meet twice next week. That's kind of nice.
I shower every second day or 1.5 days. I've been doing this for 2 years. Like Monday morning for example.. and then Tuesday night (So I don't have to on Wednesday morning). It works =]
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Old 09-24-2021, 03:32 PM   #869
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I can’t wait until my care manager’s sisters cat has kittens (her cat is pregnant) so I can get one and have a cat again finally!!! Roll Call 187 I’m hoping sometime next month or by early November.

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Old 09-24-2021, 03:34 PM   #870
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I have so many appointments next week. One to get my abilify injection, one with my therapist, one with my dentist, and one with my primary care doctor. I'll feel relieved when it's all over. Good to get all my medical appointments out of the way. I have another appointment with my primary care doctor in November for a full physical. And I know I'll have follow-up dentist appointments for fillings and whatnot

Tomorrow morning I’m going to walk down to that church so I can get some new-to-me clothes for the fall/winter weather

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Old 09-24-2021, 07:48 PM   #871
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I think I may get my nose re-pierced

Yeah there’s a tattoo place down the street, I can walk to. They do piercings too. I’m going to call and see how much their nose piercings are and set up an appointment for sometime during October.
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Old 09-24-2021, 09:19 PM   #872
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I've got the worst case of poison ivy in my life. My arms are toast, and my face is puffy and red. sigh... Day 4 is almost over.

Went to the urgentcy climic wednesday when I started to see it all over my face. THey gave me a shot and 3 prescriptions I itch like crazy but it is helping a lot I suppose. I'd go crazy otherwise. SLeeping is so tough, guys. There's no way I can relax with the ivy not being leaned on. It's going to take a long time to really heal from this I can tell. They say 5-7 days can get rid of it but it might be up to 3 weeks, I think this is going to take 3 weeks to be honest. It's so bad.
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Old 09-24-2021, 09:48 PM   #873
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I've got the worst case of poison ivy in my life. My arms are toast, and my face is puffy and red. sigh... Day 4 is almost over.

Went to the urgentcy climic wednesday when I started to see it all over my face. THey gave me a shot and 3 prescriptions I itch like crazy but it is helping a lot I suppose. I'd go crazy otherwise. SLeeping is so tough, guys. There's no way I can relax with the ivy not being leaned on. It's going to take a long time to really heal from this I can tell. They say 5-7 days can get rid of it but it might be up to 3 weeks, I think this is going to take 3 weeks to be honest. It's so bad.
Wtf were you doing in the bushes?? Stay inside on your devices! Next time you'll think twice before going outside and not philosophizing.

No jk I hope you be well. I'm not sure what poison ivy is. It's an American thing. Next time there's a toilet paper shortage, I suppose it's better than nothing.
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Old 09-24-2021, 10:03 PM   #874
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Hope you get better soon Job!


This is the 2nd night in a row that I can't sleep. I slept 2 hours last night and tonight I'm wide awake, I'm kind of tempted to take my thorazine so I can just sleep but I want to stay off it

Edit: Screw it, I'm just gonna take it, if I have to take it in order to sleep it's not the end of the world I guess.
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Old 09-24-2021, 10:33 PM   #875
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Okay, so I'm staying off the perphanzine because I'm doing well without it and just on my other AP and other meds, but I'm going to keep taking my thorazine because it's not possible for me to get more than 2-3 hours of sleep without it. And I can't keep going days without sleep, it's really bad for mental health. I just will accept that I have to stay on the thorazine, it's not a big deal. It helps me so it's fine. I accept that and I accept my weight. I will make healthy choices, I'm 4 days into my eating disorder recovery, like true recovery. Not that half assed recovery I did before where I was still hanging on to my ED subconsciously.
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Old 09-25-2021, 07:28 AM   #876
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I'm good this morning. Just trying to reduce the Klonopin now. It is the most problematic drug ever.
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Old 09-25-2021, 09:28 AM   #877
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Mental pain this morning.
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Old 09-25-2021, 10:25 AM   #878
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Feeling better after a red bull.

My dad keeps drinking so many.. They're not good for him but he won't listen.
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Old 09-25-2021, 10:36 AM   #879
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I ended up sleeping in today. I didn't go to the church today to get the new clothes because of that but I can go again when they have it again (they do it on the last Saturday of each month), so I'll go at the end of October) I slept about 9 1/2 hours which is really good.

I'm just spending the weekend mostly cleaning and reading.

I haven't been able to get ahold of my friend the past week or so, sometimes they get depressed and I don't hear from them for a month or so, so if I can't get ahold of them by October 15th I'm just going to watch the new Halloween Kills movie on the peacock streaming service instead of in theaters like we were planning. They're releasing it simultaneously in theaters and on peacock so you can decide how you want to watch it. It will be cheaper to watch it from home anyway, the streaming service is like $4.99 a month for premium, so instead of paying like $30 at the movies for a ticket and snacks, I can just watch it on my laptop from home with snacks I already have for much cheaper.
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Old 09-25-2021, 10:44 AM   #880
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Feeling better after a red bull.

My dad keeps drinking so many.. They're not good for him but he won't listen.
I've never had Red Bull before. I used to love the Monster energy drinks. But that was before I had my first panic attack and developed panic disorder. Now I stay away from them. I know they're not healthy anyway even aside from the high caffeine content. Sometimes I crave one once in awhile, but I'm too scared to trigger a panic attack
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