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Member Since Jul 2021
Location: North America
Posts: 193
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#1
Does anyone here know how I can lead a normal life? It has been nearly fifteen years. I have been watching the movie Awakenings because that is how I feel. Once in a while, I will experience an "awakening" and feel like I am coming around. But then it will just go away. I have tried three different antipsychotics over the years. They kept me stable, but I was/am still dysfunctional, i.e. I pretty much never read because I cannot retain what I read. If I want to retain something, I have to repeat it in my mind until I have fully committed it to memory. Maybe this is because I want to get a job as a grocery store cashier. But I have tried that before and it did not work out - twice. The funny thing is, I think I am qualified to work as a grocery store cashier. However, maybe I am too stupid to work as a cashier in a grocery store. It's a demanding and stressful job, I might add. I just want to be normal.
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Blue_Bird, SlumberKitty, Yaowen
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2013
Location: Hogwarts
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#2
I'm sorry you're going through this
Have you been in therapy? Sometimes that can help with being dysfunctional Have you brought up the problems retaining information to your psychiatrist? They may be able to adjust your medication to help you. __________________ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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SlumberKitty
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Member Since Jul 2021
Location: North America
Posts: 193
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#3
Thanks for your reply. I tried doing therapy for years and years and years. It helped a little, but not nearly enough for me to get well. I have not mentioned my memory retention problem to my psychiatrist. Whenever I see him, I talk the whole time; same with whenever I would see counselors/psychotherapists. It seems like there is never enough time to get to everything. I don't even remember what I talk about. All I know is that I talk the whole time whenever I see my psychiatrist, and when I used to see counselors/psychotherapists. Lately, I have not been seeing a counselor/psychotherapist. I have left voicemails for my social worker, but he does not return my calls. It's probably because I leave angry/frustrated/upset messages for him sometimes. Or maybe he is just tired of seeing me because I never improve. When I was on more medication I was beginning to improve. But I did not like the side-effects and I felt overmedicated. So I reduced my doses with my psychiatrist's approval.
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Blue_Bird, SlumberKitty
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Poohbah
Member Since May 2013
Posts: 1,190
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#4
I live in the real world with a real job with neurotypical co-workers. Watch what you wish for.
It is a dog eat dog aggressive step on everyone who shows the least amount of weakness shown. I find the real world to be a hard place to live. Wanting to work in a strong customer service environment where people will scream at you just because they are having a bad day is very hard. If i had to do it over again i would have stayed in the protective and safe world that disability and mental health services provides. I was mainly bullied and there is no real protection. HR role is for the company not the employee. If a person has difficulties it is easier and well accepted to get rid of the employee. Companies may be forced to do accommodations but they fight it every step of the way. If you have to be hospitalized many companies wont tolerate this event. Believe me when i tell you the truth. Wanted you to know this before you take the dive into very hot water. There is no real protections. I have to say these are my real life experiences maybe others haven’t had this. |
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SlumberKitty
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Location: Chicago
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#5
Have you been tested for adhd? A lot of us have more than one thing and not retaining what you read was at least for me more of a problem until I started fish oil for neuroprotection but some people need a stimulant or other med.
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Member
Member Since Jul 2021
Location: North America
Posts: 193
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#6
I'm not sure if it's ADD or not. I know there are cognitive deficits in Schizophrenia, as well as a condition called Deficit Syndrome. I used to be diagnosed with Disorganized Schizophrenia, but now it's Paranoid Schizophrenia. However, maybe there are still a lot of "remnants" of heavy negative symptoms from when I had Disorganized Schizophrenia. Or it could be something else. I really can't say.
To answer your question, I have never been tested for ADHD. I was taking a fish oil supplement for a while, but not lately. Who knows what my problem is? I don't. |
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since May 2013
Location: Chicago
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#7
Quote:
I recommend cognitive testing...they found I had adhd, memory issues and processing speed issues, these are treatable upon detection. Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk __________________ Hugs! |
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Member
Member Since Jul 2021
Location: North America
Posts: 193
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#8
Ok thanks.
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Member
Member Since Jul 2021
Location: North America
Posts: 193
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#9
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#10
__________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
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Member
Member Since Jul 2021
Location: North America
Posts: 193
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#11
I did a little research. According to the NIH, stimulants can be used to treat negative symptoms. I think I have deficit syndrome, so I will make an appointment and ask my provider about it. It could something else, however. Perhaps a mental block.
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SlumberKitty, Sometimes psychotic
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SlumberKitty
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Member
Member Since Jul 2021
Location: North America
Posts: 193
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#12
Thanks for your reply. Have you found the Vyvanse to be helpful with memory, focus, and concentration? I feel like I could use a medication like that. My mental activity is pretty bad. My focus is abysmal. I feel like it could be a lot better. Perhaps if I were to go on a CNS stimulant, it would do wonders for me...
I will try to remember to mention it to my psychiatrist when I see him. |
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