Fifteen years...

185329 · Sep 13, 2021 at 11:53 PM

Does anyone here know how I can lead a normal life? It has been nearly fifteen years. I have been watching the movie Awakenings because that is how I feel. Once in a while, I will experience an "awakening" and feel like I am coming around. But then it will just go away. I have tried three different antipsychotics over the years. They kept me stable, but I was/am still dysfunctional, i.e. I pretty much never read because I cannot retain what I read. If I want to retain something, I have to repeat it in my mind until I have fully committed it to memory. Maybe this is because I want to get a job as a grocery store cashier. But I have tried that before and it did not work out - twice. The funny thing is, I think I am qualified to work as a grocery store cashier. However, maybe I am too stupid to work as a cashier in a grocery store. It's a demanding and stressful job, I might add. I just want to be normal.

Blue_Bird · Sep 14, 2021 at 10:12 AM

I'm sorry you're going through this

Have you been in therapy? Sometimes that can help with being dysfunctional

Have you brought up the problems retaining information to your psychiatrist? They may be able to adjust your medication to help you.

185329 · Sep 14, 2021 at 11:38 AM

Thanks for your reply. I tried doing therapy for years and years and years. It helped a little, but not nearly enough for me to get well. I have not mentioned my memory retention problem to my psychiatrist. Whenever I see him, I talk the whole time; same with whenever I would see counselors/psychotherapists. It seems like there is never enough time to get to everything. I don't even remember what I talk about. All I know is that I talk the whole time whenever I see my psychiatrist, and when I used to see counselors/psychotherapists. Lately, I have not been seeing a counselor/psychotherapist. I have left voicemails for my social worker, but he does not return my calls. It's probably because I leave angry/frustrated/upset messages for him sometimes. Or maybe he is just tired of seeing me because I never improve. When I was on more medication I was beginning to improve. But I did not like the side-effects and I felt overmedicated. So I reduced my doses with my psychiatrist's approval.

dancinglady · Sep 14, 2021 at 03:28 PM

I live in the real world with a real job with neurotypical co-workers. Watch what you wish for.
It is a dog eat dog aggressive step on everyone who shows the least amount of weakness shown.
I find the real world to be a hard place to live. Wanting to work in a strong customer service environment where people will scream at you just because they are having a bad day is very hard.
If i had to do it over again i would have stayed in the protective and safe world that disability and mental health services provides.
I was mainly bullied and there is no real protection. HR role is for the company not the employee. If a person has difficulties it is easier and well accepted to get rid of the employee. Companies may be forced to do accommodations but they fight it every step of the way. If you have to be hospitalized many companies wont tolerate this event. Believe me when i tell you the truth. Wanted you to know this before you take the dive into very hot water. There is no real protections. I have to say these are my real life experiences maybe others haven’t had this.

Sometimes psychotic · Sep 14, 2021 at 06:36 PM

Have you been tested for adhd? A lot of us have more than one thing and not retaining what you read was at least for me more of a problem until I started fish oil for neuroprotection but some people need a stimulant or other med.

185329 · Sep 14, 2021 at 08:07 PM

I'm not sure if it's ADD or not. I know there are cognitive deficits in Schizophrenia, as well as a condition called Deficit Syndrome. I used to be diagnosed with Disorganized Schizophrenia, but now it's Paranoid Schizophrenia. However, maybe there are still a lot of "remnants" of heavy negative symptoms from when I had Disorganized Schizophrenia. Or it could be something else. I really can't say.

To answer your question, I have never been tested for ADHD. I was taking a fish oil supplement for a while, but not lately. Who knows what my problem is? I don't.

Sometimes psychotic · Sep 14, 2021 at 08:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 185329

I'm not sure if it's ADD or not. I know there are cognitive deficits in Schizophrenia, as well as a condition called Deficit Syndrome. I used to be diagnosed with Disorganized Schizophrenia, but now it's Paranoid Schizophrenia. However, maybe there are still a lot of "remnants" of heavy negative symptoms from when I had Disorganized Schizophrenia. Or it could be something else. I really can't say.

To answer your question, I have never been tested for ADHD. I was taking a fish oil supplement for a while, but not lately. Who knows what my problem is? I don't.

I recommend cognitive testing...they found I had adhd, memory issues and processing speed issues, these are treatable upon detection.

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185329 · Sep 14, 2021 at 09:08 PM

Ok thanks.

185329 · Sep 17, 2021 at 06:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

I recommend cognitive testing...they found I had adhd, memory issues and processing speed issues, these are treatable upon detection.

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Can stimulants be taken with antipsychotics?

SlumberKitty · Sep 17, 2021 at 08:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 185329

Can stimulants be taken with antipsychotics?

Yes, I take Vyvanse with Latuda and Rexulti

185329 · Sep 21, 2021 at 02:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SlumberKitty

Yes, I take Vyvanse with Latuda and Rexulti

I did a little research. According to the NIH, stimulants can be used to treat negative symptoms. I think I have deficit syndrome, so I will make an appointment and ask my provider about it. It could something else, however. Perhaps a mental block.

Thanks.

185329 · Oct 09, 2021 at 12:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SlumberKitty

Yes, I take Vyvanse with Latuda and Rexulti

Thanks for your reply. Have you found the Vyvanse to be helpful with memory, focus, and concentration? I feel like I could use a medication like that. My mental activity is pretty bad. My focus is abysmal. I feel like it could be a lot better. Perhaps if I were to go on a CNS stimulant, it would do wonders for me...

I will try to remember to mention it to my psychiatrist when I see him.

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Sometimes psychotic Legendary Wise Elder Member Since May 2013 Location: Chicago Posts: 26,409 (SuperPoster!) 10 22.8k hugs given	Sep 14, 2021 at 06:36 PM #5 Have you been tested for adhd? A lot of us have more than one thing and not retaining what you read was at least for me more of a problem until I started fish oil for neuroprotection but some people need a stimulant or other med. __________________ Hugs!
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185329 Member Member Since Jul 2021 Location: North America Posts: 191 2 1 hugs given	Sep 14, 2021 at 09:08 PM #8 Ok thanks.
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