Roll Call 188

Sometimes psychotic · Oct 15, 2021 at 08:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

So I was walking home with my friend from the movie, and part way back he goes one way to go home and I go the other way to get to my apartment complex, I'm walking down my street and it's dark because it's after 9:30 pm, and I live in a rough neighborhood so I generally am never out at night, and these guys pull up beside me and are yelling at me trying to get me to stop, I don't even know what the hell they wanted but it freaks me out, like wtf, leave me alone, it just scares me.

Anyway, the movie was wonderful and I had fun with my friend

Oh man after dark people have always walked me to my door….glad you enjoyed the movie though.

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Blue_Bird · Oct 15, 2021 at 09:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

Oh man after dark people have always walked me to my door….glad you enjoyed the movie though.

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Yeah he has his own anxiety issues and doesn't like walking down that street because of that very reason so I went alone, I texted him about it afterward and he said next time he would walk me to my apartment complex door. I think I'm going to get pepper spray to put in my purse just to have. Even when it's not dark out, it's not a great neighborhood and I'm almost always alone.

Desoxyn · Oct 15, 2021 at 09:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

So I was walking home with my friend from the movie, and part way back he goes one way to go home and I go the other way to get to my apartment complex, I'm walking down my street and it's dark because it's after 9:30 pm, and I live in a rough neighborhood so I generally am never out at night, and these guys pull up beside me and are yelling at me trying to get me to stop, I don't even know what the hell they wanted but it freaks me out, like wtf, leave me alone, it just scares me.

I'm going to get pepper spray or something to have in my purse just in case I ever end up going out at night again (not that I likely will, it would probably be good to have anyway)

Anyway, the movie was wonderful and I had fun with my friend

My sister bought a taser disguised as an iPhone

Blue_Bird · Oct 15, 2021 at 09:59 PM

This is the best I can find, it has an alarm and this other thing, I checked out different pepper sprays but none of them will ship to my location for some reason, it's better than nothing I guess

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0...HJRJZH7VI&th=1

Yeah I just checked, they can't legally ship pepper spray to New York, so alarms and whatnot are all you can use

Blue_Bird · Oct 15, 2021 at 10:10 PM

I'm probably going to see another movie sometime in November, not sure what yet, depends what's out. Time to start counting down the days till the next Halloween movie (Halloween Ends), that comes out October 2022

Desoxyn · Oct 15, 2021 at 10:59 PM

My brain..

It's becoming fully functional. I just need to keep holding on, keep fighting.. To not give up. Not many people will tell me.. Only me. And with the video chat people and what they've said - I know that I am doing the right things..........

There will be massive criticisms about everything that I'm doing. I know that I'm doing the right things.. My IQ will increase, or decrease..

Apparently I need serotonin/dopamine antagonists. But you must understand that these are my HAPPY chemicals..

Don't take my happy chems... The older I get, I realize how small the world is.. And it can be easily understood with time.. A massive amount of it. Idk if it's some type of simulation where that ability can be put to use for many people - At least 50% is all common sense..

Desoxyn · Oct 15, 2021 at 11:06 PM

I'm having a good vacation visiting family.

I'm gonna buy a computer battery and install it into my macbook pro A4125. It will take like half an hour to install - By watching YouTube. But will save a lot of money rather than buying a new computer.

I'll look more into Monero.. My brother wants me to use an investing site..

I still need to try and learn a new language. I learned Gaelic, French and German as a kid.. But I forget. I'm starting from scratch once again after the trip.

Things will be good. This is a time to relax and watch movies etc.. Not too much into politics - But remember to have fun.. I search a lot of things that people commonly ask Google.. I have hundreds of bookmarks that I have to look at.

I might buy the Samsung Z Fold 3.. For multitasking. I need more dextroamphetamine maybe.. My psychiatrist will adjust my meds properly and hopefully I won't have to deal with hypnagogic heart palpitations anymore by taking a full zopiclone. Things are OK. I'm trying. I'll keep trying..

The isolation, abuse, blablabla.. I have to continue..

Blue_Bird · Oct 15, 2021 at 11:19 PM

Looking at coffee tables for my apartment. I think I found a nice looking/ and good quality one that's not too big for my living room

Desoxyn · Oct 15, 2021 at 11:31 PM

I just need to meditate... That's all I need to do.. But I get too excited

Sometimes psychotic · Oct 16, 2021 at 09:56 AM

I feel like my relationship has changed....bf predominantly makes convo about his work which used to be interesting because it was IT.....now he’s managing people so it’s like just crap happening to these people so they can’t work, people have died or people are injured etc.....I don’t want to hear about it. So we decided not to talk about his work but all he could come up with was sports which is equally sucky. I don’t mind not talking much but he does. I’m not sure if we’ll make it past this or not tbh. I need to discuss ideas with T.

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Blue_Bird · Oct 16, 2021 at 11:07 AM

I hope things work out SP!

Blue_Bird · Oct 16, 2021 at 11:08 AM

This is the coffee table my sister is ordering for me

Erti · Oct 16, 2021 at 11:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

I feel like my relationship has changed....bf predominantly makes convo about his work which used to be interesting because it was IT.....now he’s managing people so it’s like just crap happening to these people so they can’t work, people have died or people are injured etc.....I don’t want to hear about it. So we decided not to talk about his work but all he could come up with was sports which is equally sucky. I don’t mind not talking much but he does. I’m not sure if we’ll make it past this or not tbh. I need to discuss ideas with T.

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Do you two have any other similar interest? Maybe start looking for things that you can do together.

Sometimes psychotic · Oct 16, 2021 at 12:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Erti

Do you two have any other similar interest? Maybe start looking for things that you can do together.

With COVID a lot of that is shut down…he pretty much likes movies to do but he doesn’t want to go to theaters right now. I asked if he wanted to take a class together ie cooking painting anything but he was like no. Idk need to discuss with T for ideas

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Blue_Bird · 04:59 PM

Was feeling anxious/panicky but feeling better after watching a few episodes of a show I'm watching on Netflix, took my mind off it

I'm doing well on my mood stabilizer increase though, like a lot better

Still a little anxious so made some chamomile tea

Blue_Bird · Oct 16, 2021 at 05:26 PM

I have to call my care manager next week and ask what's taking so long with the vocational rehabilitation program. I also need to contact my college at some point to get re-enrolled to take classes. I'm only gonna take 1 class at a time for now, I already have a lot of credits and am almost done with my associates degree, and I also don't want to overwhelm myself if I'm working part-time too then

Blue_Bird · Oct 16, 2021 at 06:25 PM

I am just going to live on smoothies/nutrition shakes. I can’t seem to eat most food because of my choking fear. The list of foods I don’t feel comfortable/safe eating is constantly growing and I am sick of it. I hate it. I wish I could go back to like 2 years ago before I developed this weird ****ing phobia. I am so frustrated.

Blue_Bird · Oct 16, 2021 at 07:53 PM

Does anyone have any tips on how to get over the anxiety related to this eating issue

I want to be able to cook and eat on Thanksgiving but I need to get over this weird thing so I actually can

Desoxyn · Oct 16, 2021 at 11:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

Does anyone have any tips on how to get over the anxiety related to this eating issue

I want to be able to cook and eat on Thanksgiving but I need to get over this weird thing so I actually can

The only way to get rid of a phobia is to face it!

Maybe take some benzo and then eat for a few times to see that there's no danger.

Sometimes psychotic · Oct 17, 2021 at 09:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

Does anyone have any tips on how to get over the anxiety related to this eating issue

I want to be able to cook and eat on Thanksgiving but I need to get over this weird thing so I actually can

I guess my question is whether it’s actually a phobia or whether you might have issues swallowing now....can you see a gastroenterologist?

Dysphagia: Difficulty Swallowing and What It Means | Everyday Health

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Roll Call 188

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Blue_Bird Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2013 Location: Hogwarts Posts: 36,718 (SuperPoster!) 10 14.3k hugs given	Oct 15, 2021 at 11:19 PM #228 Looking at coffee tables for my apartment. I think I found a nice looking/ and good quality one that's not too big for my living room __________________ My Blog: https://livingwithachaoticmind.wordpress.com/ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi

Desoxyn Metaphysic Member Since Aug 2016 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 12,974 (SuperPoster!) 7 4,906 hugs given	Oct 15, 2021 at 11:31 PM #229 I just need to meditate... That's all I need to do.. But I get too excited

Blue_Bird Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2013 Location: Hogwarts Posts: 36,718 (SuperPoster!) 10 14.3k hugs given	Oct 16, 2021 at 11:07 AM #231 I hope things work out SP! __________________ My Blog: https://livingwithachaoticmind.wordpress.com/ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi