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Desoxyn
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Default Nov 19, 2021 at 08:51 PM
  #21
The athletes dying of myocarditis after covid and vaccine freaks me out

WHY MUST I HAVE A HEART??
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Desoxyn
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Default Nov 19, 2021 at 09:17 PM
  #22
I feel so much better..

What the hell is wrong with me
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Default Nov 20, 2021 at 12:06 AM
  #23
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Originally Posted by Desoxyn View Post
I feel so much better..


What the hell is wrong with me
Did you see a doctor about those spots? I hope they'll clear up soon.

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Default Nov 20, 2021 at 01:11 AM
  #24
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Did you see a doctor about those spots? I hope they'll clear up soon.

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Thanks.. I cancelled the appointment.. But I'll make another one. The spots really bother me.

I'm looking forward to getting my new macbook pro and phone.. Those will improve my quality of life because a better internet experience will make me feel more organized etc because it wont be limited technology anymore..

I freak out because of the corruption/conspiracies. It's just like psychosis - I have no idea what is real. The dextroamphetamine allows me to stay awake and motivated enough to go into focused rabbit holes.

What I should do is live as if me + most people on earth are NOT going to die.. very soon within 5-10 years - Cuz no one knows if we will all die tomorrow..

I should play with the cats, watch a movie with my mom and relax.. That the spots aren't a sign of too much vaccine/Invega nanoparticle poisons..

I'm told that I should trust the scientists because they started out wanting to do something good and help humanity.. It's sad that I wanted to go to school and possibly be a scientist before I got depressed and then lost my mind.
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Default Nov 20, 2021 at 07:56 AM
  #25
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Thanks.. I cancelled the appointment.. But I'll make another one. The spots really bother me.

I'm looking forward to getting my new macbook pro and phone.. Those will improve my quality of life because a better internet experience will make me feel more organized etc because it wont be limited technology anymore..

I freak out because of the corruption/conspiracies. It's just like psychosis - I have no idea what is real. The dextroamphetamine allows me to stay awake and motivated enough to go into focused rabbit holes.

What I should do is live as if me + most people on earth are NOT going to die.. very soon within 5-10 years - Cuz no one knows if we will all die tomorrow..

I should play with the cats, watch a movie with my mom and relax.. That the spots aren't a sign of too much vaccine/Invega nanoparticle poisons..

I'm told that I should trust the scientists because they started out wanting to do something good and help humanity.. It's sad that I wanted to go to school and possibly be a scientist before I got depressed and then lost my mind.

There are philosophers who said that meditating on everything that can go wrong in a day, (e.g., the Stoics) if you are interested in learning more about them, is good because... well I won't bore you with the whole explanation here, but basically it helps you remember perspective that things can go wrong in any given day.


Anyway, the key is not to meditate on it for too long, but just a little bit just to remember perspective as you go about your day. Not sure if it's a helpful tidbit for you or not. But it sometimes helps me remember that we're on a giant mass spinning in an enormous universe. Just that thought alone, if I can remember to pause while I realize that, is enough to kick me out of whatever terrible mind state I'm in.

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Default Nov 20, 2021 at 07:56 AM
  #26
Also, happy weekend everyone.

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Default Nov 20, 2021 at 09:56 AM
  #27
Okay, so I ordered her the following: a catnip banana, that orange toy, and 2 packs of catnip mice. Plus I ordered a metal litter scoop because the plastic one I have is kind of flimsy and probably won't last long
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File Type: jpg catnipbanana.jpg (151.7 KB, 7 views)
File Type: jpg catnipmice.jpg (168.3 KB, 7 views)

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Default Nov 20, 2021 at 10:46 AM
  #28
They did something with my robe. It's gone. I need it for showering. My knees are getting really painful again.

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Default Nov 20, 2021 at 11:38 AM
  #29
Just walked to CVS. Takes about 30 -40 minutes to get there and back. Needed to pick up my meds. Also bought my kitty some toy mice while there because I felt guilty for leaving her and also because I felt she needed something to occupy her until her other toys are delivered. She’s having a lot of fun with them.
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Default Nov 20, 2021 at 01:55 PM
  #30
I feel very good today. Still at work but nothing to do.
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Default Nov 20, 2021 at 05:41 PM
  #31
Took a nice nap with the cat

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Default Nov 20, 2021 at 07:15 PM
  #32
I Google: "My thoughts are always disorganized"

- What is disorganized thinking a symptom of?

"Disorganized thinking is one of the primary symptoms of schizophrenia, and it can lead to a variety of thought process disorders that cause disjointed thoughts, a collapse or sudden stop in thought process, randomly spoken words, and incoherence"

Oh for christ sake..
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Default Nov 20, 2021 at 07:21 PM
  #33
I drank a beer. Probably shouldn't have since I'm on Klonopin. Oh well.

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Default Nov 20, 2021 at 07:35 PM
  #34
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I drank a beer. Probably shouldn't have since I'm on Klonopin. Oh well.
You'll be fine - Just don't drink more.. Enjoy the beer!
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Default Nov 20, 2021 at 08:23 PM
  #35
I'm not as obsessively thinking about all the things that cause me anxiety now that I have my cat. Normally I'd constantly be worried about dying and all kinds of other stuff but the past few days since I got her I have been preoccupied with her and not my obsessions and anxieties.

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Default Nov 20, 2021 at 09:02 PM
  #36
My sister might be coming over tomorrow if she has time. I want her to meet Miss Mustachio.

I have some cleaning to do. And need to watch Sunday mass live-streamed on YouTube.

I'm excited for the holidays. I should be getting my turkey and stuff on Monday I think.

Listening to an audiobook

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Default Nov 20, 2021 at 10:17 PM
  #37
Another kitty pic just because. She really has like a full on beard rather than just a mustache lol
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Default Nov 21, 2021 at 12:01 AM
  #38
Can’t sleep

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Default Nov 21, 2021 at 04:22 AM
  #39
So I decided I'm going to buy myself some new clothes. I did gain weight as much as that makes me mad at myself and hate to admit it, truth is I'd fit more comfortably in a size 9 jeans now better than a size 8. I have a habit of not buying myself new clothes because I feel like I have to be a certain size lower to warrant me deserving to get new clothes. Yeah I know that's weird and messed up. But yeah, I'm getting a new pair of jeans (I'll get more in the future), 2 sweaters, and a zip up hoodie. I might as well just accept it and move on. I think the key to overcoming my eating disorder cycle is to stop obsessing, and learn to accept my body at wherever weight I may currently be at any given time. Whether that be my starting weight of 119 lbs or my current weight of 163lbs. I can still make healthy choices and work towards having a healthier lifestyle without falling back into obsessive ED behavior. If I'm not what I consider to be the perfect size for me it's okay.

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Default Nov 21, 2021 at 10:51 AM
  #40
Quote:
Originally Posted by Desoxyn View Post
I Google: "My thoughts are always disorganized"


- What is disorganized thinking a symptom of?


"Disorganized thinking is one of the primary symptoms of schizophrenia, and it can lead to a variety of thought process disorders that cause disjointed thoughts, a collapse or sudden stop in thought process, randomly spoken words, and incoherence"


Oh for christ sake..
This came upon me in college, I was hopeless. I couldn't absorb anything I had to read. Total nightmare.

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