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Default Jan 14, 2022 at 06:13 PM
  #221
My pdoc also put me on this new med called Lybalvi. It's like a combination of olanzapine and another med that reduces my metabolism or something (I don't know the specifics). I hate it so far though. It's really a terrible med so far.

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Default Jan 14, 2022 at 06:14 PM
  #222
Also I'm done with modafinil. Too many side effects.

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Default Jan 14, 2022 at 10:45 PM
  #223
Reading limitless, it expired before I could finish it last time….interesting section on people with a damaged basal ganglia where they could not make even simple decisions….the idea was that without habits even simple decisions become overwhelming for us all. Honestly wonder if something like that could have happened to me…..idk if I really have a mental illness what if I do have a brain tumor or something and I just didn’t know. I though they did a head CT but I’m not actually sure tbh, they did some kind of ct but they could have just scanned my body and not my brain. I was so out of it that I may have just assumed that’s what they were doing. Technically mental illness makes the most sense and a lot of us seem to have indecision but maybe I should reassess to some extent.

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Default Jan 14, 2022 at 10:55 PM
  #224
I had a lot of trouble today. But I'm ok right now.

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Default Jan 15, 2022 at 12:09 AM
  #225
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Reading limitless, it expired before I could finish it last time….interesting section on people with a damaged basal ganglia where they could not make even simple decisions….the idea was that without habits even simple decisions become overwhelming for us all. Honestly wonder if something like that could have happened to me…..idk if I really have a mental illness what if I do have a brain tumor or something and I just didn’t know. I though they did a head CT but I’m not actually sure tbh, they did some kind of ct but they could have just scanned my body and not my brain. I was so out of it that I may have just assumed that’s what they were doing. Technically mental illness makes the most sense and a lot of us seem to have indecision but maybe I should reassess to some extent.

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This is an interesting thought. I personally never have any problem about making a decision, it’s like I always know what I want and I always want a lot of things, from basic day to day things to big things that affect major things in life. My problem is more like I often fail to make a concrete plan to get them.

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Default Jan 15, 2022 at 01:54 AM
  #226
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This is an interesting thought.
It's so interesting that I wrote for an hour about it lol.. I got carried away.. But it's just unfinished paragraph scribbles that I will build on - When things make sense, I'll let you guys see. But I must sleep for work in the morning.
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Default Jan 15, 2022 at 06:46 AM
  #227
I just ordered my kitty some new toys, she loves these type of toys, she had one like this before but all the feathers are off it now from her playing with it so much, this is cool because it comes with a bunch of feather things and those worm things you can connect to it
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Default Jan 15, 2022 at 08:03 AM
  #228
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I just ordered my kitty some new toys, she loves these type of toys, she had one like this before but all the feathers are off it now from her playing with it so much, this is cool because it comes with a bunch of feather things and those worm things you can connect to it

Once again, I want a cat so bad! One lives at my house but it's my roommate's. I want my own.

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Default Jan 15, 2022 at 08:24 AM
  #229
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Once again, I want a cat so bad! One lives at my house but it's my roommate's. I want my own.
I hope you're able to get one someday! They're the best company

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Default Jan 15, 2022 at 09:43 AM
  #230
I have a someday cat in my mind, Mitten, gray & white.

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Default Jan 15, 2022 at 02:08 PM
  #231
I went ahead and ordered these collars for Stash. I think purple will look good on her. Next December when it’s Christmas time again I’ll get her some red and green bow collars. She’s gonna have style lol
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Default Jan 15, 2022 at 02:28 PM
  #232
Pretty collars, Blue_Bird. I love purple.

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Default Jan 15, 2022 at 05:12 PM
  #233
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Default Jan 15, 2022 at 06:14 PM
  #234
I managed to read a bit more of "Man's Search for Meaning". I microdosed so feeling a bit anxious, can't read a full paragraph without daydreaming.
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Default Jan 15, 2022 at 06:25 PM
  #235
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I managed to read a bit more of "Man's Search for Meaning". I microdosed so feeling a bit anxious, can't read a full paragraph without daydreaming.
That's a good book, I read it a few months ago

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Default Jan 15, 2022 at 06:59 PM
  #236
I think I need modafinil again.

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Default Jan 15, 2022 at 07:06 PM
  #237
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I think I need modafinil again.
Sleepy???

How long does modafinil last for you?
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Default Jan 15, 2022 at 07:08 PM
  #238
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Sleepy???

How long does modafinil last for you?

I feel depressed and sleepy, yeah.

Usually, it lasts all day. Unfortunately I threw it away, stupidly. So, I'll need to make my psychiatrist angry and request a new prescription.

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Default Jan 15, 2022 at 07:34 PM
  #239
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I feel depressed and sleepy, yeah.

Usually, it lasts all day. Unfortunately I threw it away, stupidly. So, I'll need to make my psychiatrist angry and request a new prescription.
That's 100% OK. Don't be hard on yourself for the indecisiveness. Find what works and what doesn't with small steps day by day and you'll be better.

Your psychiatrist shouldn't be angry. I mean, I messed up incredibly bad - I emptied my Prozac pills and filled them with U-47700 for example.

Possible trigger:


We must be redeemed and have help to make life better.. We have to learn lessons.. to continue..
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Default Jan 15, 2022 at 10:03 PM
  #240
I found this cute scratching post I'm gonna get for Stash
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