Roll Call 190

Wow I'm surprised he tried to suggest pregabalin
, it has massive addictive qualities

I had a friend in the psych hospital and she found it incredibly difficult to withdraw from 150-300mg of pregabalin or something. I was supporting to help her withdraw. When she didn't take it, she had a nerve would radiate pain into her head near her eye and her eye would swell up.

I thought about it and said to myself, "I'll pass".

Also I've seen videos about "Northern Irelands pregabalin addiction". Nope nope nope.

Although I do have be tempt

Walked to CVS to pick up my meds. Ran into my friend on the way there. Was nice to see him. We made plans to hang out this Friday.

Ordering the new Pokemon game.

Woke up with Stash snuggled up under the blankets next to me purring.

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I hope she'll be fine. Hugs!!

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If I was on a lot of stim, I could easily hyper focus on constant walls of paragraphs, organize a blog and make money.

But I have to do these things slowly, building up, small step

Thanks Angelique! How have you been?

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I'm going grocery shopping tomorrow. I'm out of basically everything. My fridge is about empty. Then after that I have some cleaning to do. Thursday I'm going to the library to return some books and maybe to Family Dollar to buy a few household essentials. Friday I'm going to my friend's house for a few hours.
Saturday or Sunday my sister is stopping over for a bit. I'm going to try to get on the treadmill a few times over the rest of the week. And practice ukulele. Next week I'm going to look into seeing if the library is offering any part-time jobs. If they do then I'll have my care manager help me out with the application and whatnot and help me with reporting changes to social security if I get the job. This branch of the library is 10 minute walk away so that's good.

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I'm ok, thanks. Having a hard time getting myself to shower and I really have to just do it. My mom is still confused, I haven't managed to call her in the past week which is terrible. I'm not sure what's wrong with me. Maybe they changed my meds here. But I'm so glad you have Stash now. I think she's a really good influence for you.

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I have two relatives who call my mom every day, so it's not like she's depending on me for anything.

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I’ve been having a hard time getting myself to shower too. I finally got myself to take one tonight. I’m sorry about your mom, I hope you’re able to talk to her soon.

I think Stash is a good influence too

I’m anxious. I think my meds are poisoning me.

I have Covid lol just before my birthday! Lame…

I'm sorry, Erti! I hope you won't have it anymore soon. And happy birthday!

Thank you! My birthday is on the 6th but thank you!

You said th3 other day that you realized you hadn't had these thoughts in a while and attributed it to staying on the med that you're now tapering down on

Yeah I guess, but when I think about it it's a mood stabilizer that I'm tapering off of, not an antipsychotic, it shouldn't have anything to do with that really, I meant my other meds were helping. I don't know how tapering off a mood stabilizer would cause paranoia

They aren’t poison, this may be because you missed a few days still.

Maybe, I woke up feeling mostly better

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I went grocery shopping. Got all the stuff to make cheeseburgers then lots of other good food. I didn't buy any junk food (by junk food I just mean like pastries, candy, ice cream, etc).

I'm having salad and some plain fat free Greek yogurt for lunch later.

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We have a winter storm watch for tomorrow through Friday, supposed to get 6-7 inches of snow

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It takes a couple of weeks to get back to baseline sometimes even if you miss one dose…or at least for me, may be an Abilify thing.

We’re getting a ton right now.

Almost 2 thousand people liked miss mustachios photo,I posted her photo in a cat group I'm in on Facebook.


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Awesome

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Took the 300mg of gabapentin last night. It's a dreamy gabaminergic. Slightly fast heart rate - I'll have to wonder about that for the next month.

I should tell my mom that I may be difficult with mood for the next month. I'll keep the phenibut dose at 500mg a day.

It'll be interesting to see how I do while prolonging the Invega Trinza an extra 3 weeks. Maybe extra positive symptom - Fun???

I really liked how I went to sleep early around 1-2 weeks ago and also skipped the beta blocker + 10mg olanzepine dose. I woke up in the middle of the night and my thoughts were so clear (Although I couldn't focus at all and it was hard to absorb information).

Not sure what to do today.. I woke up at 10am, made coffee, sat around. I should make a list. I work tomorrow so tonight I'll find a podcast to listen to while at work.

Then I get to deposit the monthly check. Both me and my mom are saving up a lot of money because rent is only 600 a month for both of us. In the old place, it was 2100 a month. Cleaning that place up was stressful. Everyone partied like crazy in that place - I barely remember anything.

I was annoyed last night and a bit suicidal. I felt really bad cuz my moms friend was over and they were talking loud, dramatic etc and I'm already dealing with existential dread almost every day. My mom was showing her friend the spots on my skin and I freaked out a little - I said "I will live only 2-5 years" and she said "No.. You'll live a very long time" and I said "No I'm serious".. My mom said "That's just his delusions etc".. But anyways yeah today I feel really good.