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meetlaw
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Default Jan 10, 2022 at 05:47 PM
  #1
I was wondering how any of you might deal with other people treating you negatively for symptoms of an illness that they don’t understand. Over time I have amassed a number of negative social reactions like people watching me carefully, saying negative things to another person meant for me to hear, and even starting fireworks. I think I have thought broadcasting which makes me think that people can read my thoughts. Thus, I feel the need to control my thoughts. This causes me to be self conscious which causes others to pay a lot of attention to me. When I can’t control my thoughts people treat me in a subhuman manner because they just don’t understand why I act differently. This causes a rage but usually goes away after a day or two. But I still am filled with a vast sense of dread regarding going out into public.
My question is how do you stop from internalizing this negative reaction and ignorance? How do you prep yourself for going outside? How do you deal with people thinking you are a douchebag for something that is out of your control?
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Default Jan 11, 2022 at 10:27 AM
  #2
I've had friends with different types of mental illnesses. They had to deal with internalized and intrusive thoughts all the time. Trusting society, people, the system is tough when your past experiences and/or mental illness clouds your perception.

Sometimes communication helps when you know the person for a while, depending on the relationship. If they are someone new or an acquaintance that you have no intention of getting close to, you can easily distance yourself from the relationship if that person feels unsafe to you. If they are someone you would like to know better or someone who you would consider a friend - a person closer than a mere acquaintance, then you can ask the person questions about what they think of you, and if they are comfortable with you sharing your concerns. If they are comfortable, validating, caring, and understanding, then they are safe to talk things out with and get reassurances from. They are ones you can confide in when you're feeling insecure, paranoid, or otherwise mentally symptomatic.

Also, a therapist can help you to learn interpersonal skills, social skills, cognitive-behavioral skills, boundaries and how to use them, and assertiveness skills. Interpersonal skills includes role playing with your therapist, so that you can improve your communication. Social skills can be learned in group therapy or in groups ran by therapists until you feel more comfortable branching out to a peer-led group. The more practice you get in groups, the more desensitized your fears are of being in groups, and the more social skills you pick up from. Cognitive-behavioral skills (CBT) will help you connect your automatic thoughts (internalized, intrusive thoughts) with your emotions (anxiety, fear, paranoia) and your typical behavioral issues (avoidance, rituals, assuming without confirming through effective communication, blaming, shaming, lashing out, yelling, etc.). Oftentimes these thoughts, emotions, and behaviors come from a trigger. Once you have identified the triggers (e.g., large groups, closeness to a person, a specific color that triggers you, reminders of things that reinforce your fears, anxieties, and/or paranoia), then you can identify where the thoughts, feelings, and subsequent behaviors come from. Your therapist will then help you figure out a better coping skill (an adaptive skill) to help you deal with those triggers and have a different behavioral response. For instance, instead of avoiding, you can slowly desensitize by confronting through the use of communication (asking questions, stating boundaries), positive self-affirmations ("I can do this!" "Other people have done this and have survived, despite their mental illness challenges."). Another example would be to challenge your thoughts, and then realize that your expectations of others understanding your mental illness might not be as important as simply accepting that you are "neurodivergent" (as opposed to "neurotypical"), and that if people accept you, great. But if people don't because you're different (people of certain races and religious practices deal with this all the time), then you simple don't force the relationship, but instead walk away - especially if they aren't close to you. If they are close to you or are considered a friend, then you use communication. They might be blunt about what they find challenging or difficult, but some people are just not a good fit for one another, and that's okay. Unfortunately, there are many different people in the world, and minorities (including those who are minority by their particular mental disorder) oftentimes are left with fewer social resources (less social support) than those who are more "mainstream" or "neurotypical." It's okay to acknowledge your own limitations and differences, but only if it is safe to do so. Not everyone is safe, and sometimes it's hard to discern what is safe when you have a mental disorder. That's where a therapist can help. A psychiatrist can offer medications to reduce some of the symptoms, but other symptoms really do require talk therapy and things like learning social skills, CBT skills, etc.

It's not easy for people with trauma-related disorders, but it's also not easy for others with other mental disorders, too. Some of the tools learned in therapy are the same. Some will need to be tweaked for comorbid disorders and/or those who have specific types of disorders.

You can ask your psychiatrist for a talk-therapist referral for such things. If you don't have a psychiatrist or a talk-therapist (psychologist, LCSW, LPC, MFT, etc.), then you can ask your primary care physician for a referral to both a psychiatrist and a talk-therapist. A psychiatrist holds a MD, whereas the others primarily hold professional degrees (Ph.D., Psy.D., LCSW - Master's-level degree, LPC- Bachelor's or Master's, MFT - Master's, etc.). Psychiatrist can perform talk therapies, if they want, but they are primarily there to prescribe medications. Talk-therapists are there to help you with coping skills, social skills, and more.
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Default Feb 01, 2022 at 01:57 PM
  #3
Thank you for this thread!!

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