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Member
Member Since Jun 2017
Location: Westmont, IL, USA
Posts: 31
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Jan 22, 2022 at 07:48 PM
#1
I spend most of my time at home but when I do leave home my life is miserable.
If I am about to leave the house I have to ”prepare” by emptying my mind of thoughts so I have nothing for people to criticize. On the drive to wherever I want to go I am able to do that to a degree but when I am actually in contact with a person she might say something which I will immediately perceive as a repetition of a thought that should have been controlled. This makes me irate. Then when I have to wait around other normies I feel I have to control my thoughts so that I won’t be criticized while they don’t seem to be controlling their thoughts at all. But this won’t stop them from viewing my body language and laughing when I display self-consciousness. I always have little thoughts that have a negative connotation which I can’t control but people know I have them because of my facial expressions and/or body language. This causes people to repeat them as if they should have been controlled. Are others experiencing the same kind of misery? Last edited by meetlaw; Jan 22, 2022 at 10:25 PM.. Reason: Possibly offensive term I used |
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Disreputable Old Troll
Member Since Oct 2015
Location: The Star of the North
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Jan 23, 2022 at 07:04 PM
#2
I spend most of my time at home as well. When I do go out it's typically with my spouse and I let her do most of the interacting with store clerks, etc. I just tag along as much as possible, push the grocery cart, carry the bags or whatever. I've always felt as though I must have had a target on my back or that perhaps other people could smell vulnerability on me. Now I simply try to keep to myself as much as possible.
__________________ "I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last) |
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Angelique67, Breaking Dawn
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Member Since Sep 2019
Location: USA
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Feb 01, 2022 at 01:13 PM
#3
I totally relate to all of this!!
__________________ "Every moment is a fresh beginning." (T. S. Eliot) "Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines."(Robert H. Schiuller) * * * * * * 
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My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
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