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Default May 26, 2022 at 09:52 PM
  #261
Good evening, people. I had been travelling for the past two weeks or so, that's why I wasn't on.

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Default May 26, 2022 at 09:53 PM
  #262
I saw my therapist today and she thinks I never had psychosis. Like what? That one kind of blindsided me.

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Default May 26, 2022 at 09:54 PM
  #263
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I saw my therapist today and she thinks I never had psychosis. Like what? That one kind of blindsided me.
To be fair though, I didn't describe it in much detail. Also I have never had hallucinations.

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Default May 26, 2022 at 11:08 PM
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I've been reading and researching lots of articles about how to live on half of your take home pay. My goal is to do this and to donate the other half of my take home pay. I live on about 64% of my take home pay now, but I would need to cut about $300 more from my monthly budget to get to 50% and then I still need to put some money into savings so I'm not sure how to do that and donate half of my take home pay. I figure I might be able to do this in 3 to 5 years if I am strict and disciplined enough to not take on any more debt and to pay off all credit cards, etc. Of course in three to five years I would be making more money, hopefully, so I wouldn't have to shave as much as $300 off. I hope. I've been reading this book called Giving is the Good Life: The Unexpected Path to Purpose and Joy by Randy Alcorn and it is inspiring me to try to get there, to the 50% mark. I know it sounds kind of crazy but I have a charity that I am passionate about and I donate quite a bit of my money to, and I would like to be able to do this. It's just going to take some work to get there.
You're so kind @Kit + a genuine caring and loving person <3

I wish that most people were like this - And it makes me think.. It's not that greed would prevail but actually that greedy people wouldn't have power..
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Default May 27, 2022 at 03:24 AM
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To be fair though, I didn't describe it in much detail. Also I have never had hallucinations.
What criteria did you meet? It’s rare not to have hallucinations with sz….

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Default May 27, 2022 at 03:29 AM
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What criteria did you meet? It’s rare not to have hallucinations with sz….
I met the criteria of having delusions I guess. Because I thought people could read my mind. But the strange thing is that I had insight into the fact that something was wrong. I also think I had paranoia. My therapist was basically saying she can't be 100% sure (obviously, because who can) but she thinks I just have extreme social anxiety. I don't think she's trying to contradict my psychiatrist or anything like that. Regardless, I know the experience I had (and still have to some degree) is and was extremely distressing and I need treatment for it. So I'm not sure where that puts me in terms of what meds to take. Of course, I'm not going to change anything on my own, but I might bring up the idea that I may not have SZ with my psychiatrist. I am diagnosed schizoaffective anyway. But still. That requires psychosis as a diagnosis. And if I don't have psychosis, that means the treatment might be different (I am pretty sure). Anyway.

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Default May 27, 2022 at 03:34 AM
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I met the criteria of having delusions I guess. Because I thought people could read my mind. But the strange thing is that I had insight into the fact that something was wrong. I also think I had paranoia. My therapist was basically saying she can't be 100% sure (obviously, because who can) but she thinks I just have extreme social anxiety. I don't think she's trying to contradict my psychiatrist or anything like that. Regardless, I know the experience I had (and still have to some degree) is and was extremely distressing and I need treatment for it. So I'm not sure where that puts me in terms of what meds to take. Of course, I'm not going to change anything on my own, but I might bring up the idea that I may not have SZ with my psychiatrist. I am diagnosed schizoaffective anyway. But still. That requires psychosis as a diagnosis. And if I don't have psychosis, that means the treatment might be different (I am pretty sure). Anyway.
Yeah delusions is the other possibility but supposedly you can also have delusional disorder if the delusions could really happen. So being followed by the fbi is delusional disorder and telepathically speaking with another galaxy is sz. Either way you’re right it’s psychosis and treatable with the same meds.

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Default May 27, 2022 at 03:53 AM
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Yeah delusions is the other possibility but supposedly you can also have delusional disorder if the delusions could really happen. So being followed by the fbi is delusional disorder and telepathically speaking with another galaxy is sz. Either way you’re right it’s psychosis and treatable with the same meds.
Yeah, since I've had significant depressions (like really extreme depressions) I am pretty sure I am schizoaffective. This is a relatively new therapist as well. I might go back to my old therapist because of this.

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Default May 27, 2022 at 10:12 AM
  #269
Lovely to see you back, WA. You were missed!

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Default May 27, 2022 at 10:20 AM
  #270
Today we are firing someone at work. Well not really we, but management is. I prepared his final checks. I just feel bad for the guy. I don't work directly with him but he always seemed like a nice guy and I know he isn't going to have seen this coming. This company doesn't really do progressive discipline. It's like one day you are here and the next day you aren't. It does cause me some anxiety at times but I try not to worry about it. I've been here almost 6 years so far and I haven't been fired yet. I'm going to be anxious all day and it isn't even me that has to have the termination discussion with him.

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Default May 27, 2022 at 12:05 PM
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It is going to be a very long day at work I think. They are all long days but this one is feeling especially long. Probably because of the long weekend coming up.

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Default May 27, 2022 at 12:06 PM
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We did get to watch a video in our morning meeting of one of our machines in use. That's pretty cool. While we often get to see the final product we don't often to get see it being used for it's specific purpose. So that was nice. It was like a 14 minute video too!

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Default May 27, 2022 at 12:19 PM
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Yikes, I got up before 2:30 am my time here today, and I feel fine so far, which is weird. But I'm going to get some quality sleep tonight I think.

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Default May 27, 2022 at 12:21 PM
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Yikes, I got up before 2:30 am my time here today, and I feel fine so far, which is weird. But I'm going to get some quality sleep tonight I think.
Wow that is early! I got up at 3:30 AM but I usually get up at 4 AM. I go to bed early as well. My work starts at 7 AM.

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Default May 27, 2022 at 12:28 PM
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Wow that is early! I got up at 3:30 AM but I usually get up at 4 AM. I go to bed early as well. My work starts at 7 AM.
Yeah I didn't intend on getting up that early but I think it's because I'm jet lagged.

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Default May 27, 2022 at 12:28 PM
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Yeah I didn't intend on getting up that early but I think it's because I'm jet lagged.
Yeah, that's probably it. Hope you get some good sleep tonight and that you get back into your normal sleep/wake schedule soon!

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Default May 27, 2022 at 02:09 PM
  #277
Halfway through the workday!!! Well, more like 5/8th of the way through the workday. This three day weekend can't come fast enough!!

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Default May 27, 2022 at 02:50 PM
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Halfway through the workday!!! Well, more like 5/8th of the way through the workday. This three day weekend can't come fast enough!!
I always do math like that when I am running on the treadmill - like fractions of the workout that I've completed. Anyway, I am hoping for a nice weekend. We'll see.

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Default May 27, 2022 at 05:57 PM
  #279
Having bad mood swings tonight which is unusual for me since I'm pretty stable now , I'm wondering if it's from cutting out sugar. I can't focus

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Default May 27, 2022 at 06:01 PM
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Walked to the library today. Picked up some books and DVDs. Did laundry. Did some weight exercises. Back onto the treadmill in the morning.

Tried to read. Only read for about 40 minutes because I'm having a hard time focusing.

Really looking forward to getting my nose pierced next week.

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