Roll Call 193

Desoxyn · Jun 24, 2022 at 05:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SlumberKitty

I don't know why I am always the one to take out the restroom trash at work. I know SOMEONE has to do it, but it is a shared space. It should be a shared responsibility. But it isn't. It's like everyone else walks by it blindly while the paper towels start to pile up on the floor around the trash can.

Oh well. I will do my bit to keep the workplace a little tidier. Plus it will kill five minutes. I guess if it only takes five minutes out of my day I really should not grumble and complain about it! Just sometimes I am annoyed that no one else can like ever think about changing the bin.

Dump some of it all over them, then put the rest in the toilet and flush it a few times.

No jk - I am the one that always does the things that others won't do so I understand ^-;

SlumberKitty · Jun 24, 2022 at 05:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desoxyn

Dump some of it all over them, then put the rest in the toilet and flush it a few times.

No jk - I am the one that always does the things that others won't do so I understand ^-;

Yeah, in the long run it does a lot to put a little kindness and consideration into the world, even if one is irritated by other's lack of seeing the mess! It's usually best to just do what is right, even when other's aren't! Take care!!! HUGS

Blue_Bird · Jun 24, 2022 at 05:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SlumberKitty

HUGS Blue_Bird! I am proud of you for getting the dental work done! That's not an easy thing to do but it is great self care. Well done!

Thank you! I'm proud of myself too. I'm always on the verge of panic attacks while sitting in a dentist chair, and shaking, etc, so 3 dentist appointments in one week is a huge deal for me. I'm glad I'm getting it all taken care of

Desoxyn · Jun 25, 2022 at 12:26 AM

Being alive is complete torture

Blue_Bird · Jun 25, 2022 at 03:58 PM

Possible trigger:

the past few days I've been kind of depressed a little. I keep having negative thoughts about myself, about how much I hate myself, my body, etc. And I also have been very agitated too. Maybe it's just because of having my period, I don't know, I just wish I felt better

Blue_Bird · Jun 25, 2022 at 04:00 PM

I'm craving chocolate but it's in the 80's today and will be like 95 degrees tomorrow, so I really don't feel up to walking to the store in that kind of heat

WastingAsparagus · Jun 25, 2022 at 06:01 PM

I'm struggling with the change to risperidone. I guess I feel like this pent-up energy that is kind of weird. I'm struggling with loneliness. My best friend went out of town and now is not responding to my texts. Honestly I feel really bad about the whole thing. I wish she had never left town, and I wish we had times like we used to have. So weird. And depressing, honestly. I am depressed but won't admit it to myself. Well, I guess I just did. I guess I thought everything was going to "go back to normal." But it does not seem to have done that.

WastingAsparagus · Jun 25, 2022 at 06:19 PM

I have therapy and other stuff on Monday - I just feel like I cannot cope right now.

WastingAsparagus · Jun 25, 2022 at 06:19 PM

I am scared the med change is not going too well.

Sometimes psychotic · Jun 25, 2022 at 06:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WastingAsparagus

I am scared the med change is not going too well.

Give it a couple weeks before you decide….

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WastingAsparagus · Jun 25, 2022 at 06:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

Give it a couple weeks before you decide….

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Yeah you're totally right... I was thinking about just altering the course myself but after reading that I think it makes more sense to stay the course for a little while at least. Thanks.

Blue_Bird · Jun 25, 2022 at 06:50 PM

Possible trigger:

having sui thoughts tonight but can't do anything because I can't leave my cats

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WastingAsparagus · Jun 25, 2022 at 06:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

Possible trigger:

having sui thoughts tonight but can't do anything because I can't leave my cats

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Sorry you're experiencing that - can you try to distract yourself by interacting more with the cats?

Blue_Bird · Jun 25, 2022 at 07:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WastingAsparagus

Sorry you're experiencing that - can you try to distract yourself by interacting more with the cats?

Thanks! Yeah I could try that

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WastingAsparagus · Jun 26, 2022 at 08:54 AM

I exercised at the gym this morning. Anyway, that has been really good for me lately.

WastingAsparagus · Jun 26, 2022 at 02:49 PM

I am still kind of freaked out about the med change...

WastingAsparagus · Jun 26, 2022 at 02:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WastingAsparagus

I am still kind of freaked out about the med change...

Still going to try to stay the course though

Desoxyn · Jun 26, 2022 at 03:32 PM

So I have to realize...

That this particular reality is aware of itself (My mind). In most other realities, there would be a confusion (Such as when we are babies). The main node becomes aware, and then is allowed to manifest anything within the environment.

But we are in the 3rd dimension. So I'm excited to go into higher dimensions - Become God-like and travel where ever I want (Time travel, etc). I think time travel requires technology (Such as microchips), consciousness/light and drugs.

I just have a small hope-delusion that my consciousness will be uploaded to the CLOUD with Neuralink etc.. My main fear is that sociopaths will torture copies of myself but it could be worth it. I think that would bypass the having to die, become reincarnated randomly or go to hell etc.. We will go to hell or heaven randomly if our minds aren't connected with true religions, philosophies.

Although I would like to think that I will be with my family in the afterlife, in some sort of "heaven" - It'll probably be like that. But since I have schiz, things can be horrifying - Like my few second nightmare during a microsleep.. It was the most horrifying dream I've ever had - 1000x worse than the fear from psychosis.. It's possible.

We must make our own way - And suffering through doing hard things makes you appreciate life and... just to sensitize the pleasure, desensitize the pain.. We can't just sit around, doing nothing.. The brain needs cognitive stimulation.

And all of the things that I'm supposed to do.. Start a chemistry course, try and learn a new language (Such as Spanish.. before I vacation in Mexico this Fall).. I wish I could do it all..

WastingAsparagus · Jun 26, 2022 at 04:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desoxyn

So I have to realize...

That this particular reality is aware of itself (My mind). In most other realities, there would be a confusion (Such as when we are babies). The main node becomes aware, and then is allowed to manifest anything within the environment.

But we are in the 3rd dimension. So I'm excited to go into higher dimensions - Become God-like and travel where ever I want (Time travel, etc). I think time travel requires technology (Such as microchips), consciousness/light and drugs.

I just have a small hope-delusion that my consciousness will be uploaded to the CLOUD with Neuralink etc.. My main fear is that sociopaths will torture copies of myself but it could be worth it. I think that would bypass the having to die, become reincarnated randomly or go to hell etc.. We will go to hell or heaven randomly if our minds aren't connected with true religions, philosophies.

Although I would like to think that I will be with my family in the afterlife, in some sort of "heaven" - It'll probably be like that. But since I have schiz, things can be horrifying - Like my few second nightmare during a microsleep.. It was the most horrifying dream I've ever had - 1000x worse than the fear from psychosis.. It's possible.

We must make our own way - And suffering through doing hard things makes you appreciate life and... just to sensitize the pleasure, desensitize the pain.. We can't just sit around, doing nothing.. The brain needs cognitive stimulation.

And all of the things that I'm supposed to do.. Start a chemistry course, try and learn a new language (Such as Spanish.. before I vacation in Mexico this Fall).. I wish I could do it all..

Sometimes I have to realize that I can't do it all, but I can do enough of the things I love doing, such that I have a satisfying life... Easier said than done though.

Angelique67 · Jul 05, 2022 at 02:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desoxyn

So I have to realize...

That this particular reality is aware of itself (My mind). In most other realities, there would be a confusion (Such as when we are babies). The main node becomes aware, and then is allowed to manifest anything within the environment.

But we are in the 3rd dimension. So I'm excited to go into higher dimensions - Become God-like and travel where ever I want (Time travel, etc). I think time travel requires technology (Such as microchips), consciousness/light and drugs.

I just have a small hope-delusion that my consciousness will be uploaded to the CLOUD with Neuralink etc.. My main fear is that sociopaths will torture copies of myself but it could be worth it. I think that would bypass the having to die, become reincarnated randomly or go to hell etc.. We will go to hell or heaven randomly if our minds aren't connected with true religions, philosophies.

Although I would like to think that I will be with my family in the afterlife, in some sort of "heaven" - It'll probably be like that. But since I have schiz, things can be horrifying - Like my few second nightmare during a microsleep.. It was the most horrifying dream I've ever had - 1000x worse than the fear from psychosis.. It's possible.

We must make our own way - And suffering through doing hard things makes you appreciate life and... just to sensitize the pleasure, desensitize the pain.. We can't just sit around, doing nothing.. The brain needs cognitive stimulation.

And all of the things that I'm supposed to do.. Start a chemistry course, try and learn a new language (Such as Spanish.. before I vacation in Mexico this Fall).. I wish I could do it all..

I don't think anything in earth life is random. Maybe more random than pure consciousness, it depends on a lot

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Roll Call 193

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Desoxyn Metaphysic Member Since Aug 2016 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 12,980 (SuperPoster!) 7 4,908 hugs given	Jun 25, 2022 at 12:26 AM #984 Being alive is complete torture

WastingAsparagus Student of Life Member Since Mar 2014 Location: South America Posts: 4,658 10 2,911 hugs given	Jun 25, 2022 at 06:19 PM #988 I have therapy and other stuff on Monday - I just feel like I cannot cope right now. __________________ "Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it!”

WastingAsparagus Student of Life Member Since Mar 2014 Location: South America Posts: 4,658 10 2,911 hugs given	Jun 25, 2022 at 06:19 PM #989 I am scared the med change is not going too well. __________________ "Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it!”

Blue_Bird Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2013 Location: Hogwarts Posts: 36,723 (SuperPoster!) 10 14.3k hugs given	Jun 25, 2022 at 06:50 PM #992 Possible trigger: having sui thoughts tonight but can't do anything because I can't leave my cats Sent from my M8L using Tapatalk __________________ My Blog: https://livingwithachaoticmind.wordpress.com/ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi

WastingAsparagus Student of Life Member Since Mar 2014 Location: South America Posts: 4,658 10 2,911 hugs given	Jun 26, 2022 at 08:54 AM #995 I exercised at the gym this morning. Anyway, that has been really good for me lately. __________________ "Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it!”

WastingAsparagus Student of Life Member Since Mar 2014 Location: South America Posts: 4,658 10 2,911 hugs given	Jun 26, 2022 at 02:49 PM #996 I am still kind of freaked out about the med change... __________________ "Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it!”