advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
Blue_Bird
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Blue_Bird's Avatar
Blue_Bird is ready for recovery!
 
Member Since: Jun 2013
Location: Hogwarts
Posts: 36,660 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
14.3k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jun 28, 2022 at 07:21 AM
  #41
On the bus headed to the grocery store

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

__________________


R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16

“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
Blue_Bird is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Desoxyn, SlumberKitty

advertisement
Blue_Bird
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Blue_Bird's Avatar
Blue_Bird is ready for recovery!
 
Member Since: Jun 2013
Location: Hogwarts
Posts: 36,660 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
14.3k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jun 28, 2022 at 07:51 AM
  #42
Got everything on my list. Now waiting for the bus to head home

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

__________________


R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16

“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
Blue_Bird is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
SlumberKitty
 
Thanks for this!
Desoxyn
SlumberKitty
Legendary Wise Elder
 
SlumberKitty's Avatar
SlumberKitty is staying stable.
 
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
117.7k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jun 28, 2022 at 08:47 AM
  #43
Hi friends. The dentist appointment went well. I got x-rays, both the regular kind and the panoramic kind, an exam, the dentist removed the bone spur that was hurting in my gum, and then I got a cleaning. $255. Not too bad. My gum is still sore but at least he was able to remove the stray random bone. He was like, that's weird. Yup, that's me!

__________________
Dum Spiro Spero
IC XC NIKA
SlumberKitty is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
Blue_Bird, Desoxyn, Sometimes psychotic
SlumberKitty
Legendary Wise Elder
 
SlumberKitty's Avatar
SlumberKitty is staying stable.
 
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
117.7k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jun 28, 2022 at 08:48 AM
  #44
I have therapy tonight. I have stuff to talk about but I kind of don't. We will see how this goes.

__________________
Dum Spiro Spero
IC XC NIKA
SlumberKitty is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Blue_Bird
 
Thanks for this!
Desoxyn
SlumberKitty
Legendary Wise Elder
 
SlumberKitty's Avatar
SlumberKitty is staying stable.
 
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
117.7k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jun 28, 2022 at 09:08 AM
  #45
It's Taco Tuesday! I am buying tacos for me and a coworker today!

__________________
Dum Spiro Spero
IC XC NIKA
SlumberKitty is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
Blue_Bird, Sometimes psychotic
Blue_Bird
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Blue_Bird's Avatar
Blue_Bird is ready for recovery!
 
Member Since: Jun 2013
Location: Hogwarts
Posts: 36,660 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
14.3k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jun 28, 2022 at 09:09 AM
  #46
Did some cleaning, now to just find something to do until my therapy appointment at 3:30

It’s only 10am, I got up at 5am

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

__________________


R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16

“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
Blue_Bird is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
SlumberKitty
 
Thanks for this!
Sometimes psychotic
SlumberKitty
Legendary Wise Elder
 
SlumberKitty's Avatar
SlumberKitty is staying stable.
 
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
117.7k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jun 28, 2022 at 09:15 AM
  #47
Are you anxious about your therapy appointment Blue_Bird?

I got up at 3:30 AM. My mouth was hurting and I had cramps. Bleh.

__________________
Dum Spiro Spero
IC XC NIKA
SlumberKitty is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Blue_Bird
SlumberKitty
Legendary Wise Elder
 
SlumberKitty's Avatar
SlumberKitty is staying stable.
 
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
117.7k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jun 28, 2022 at 09:27 AM
  #48
Crap. It is only like 730 AM and I am already taking anxiety medication!

__________________
Dum Spiro Spero
IC XC NIKA
SlumberKitty is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Blue_Bird, Desoxyn
Blue_Bird
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Blue_Bird's Avatar
Blue_Bird is ready for recovery!
 
Member Since: Jun 2013
Location: Hogwarts
Posts: 36,660 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
14.3k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jun 28, 2022 at 09:31 AM
  #49
Quote:
Originally Posted by SlumberKitty View Post
Are you anxious about your therapy appointment Blue_Bird?

I got up at 3:30 AM. My mouth was hurting and I had cramps. Bleh.
Not really, I have some good stuff to tell her. I get to tell her that I put in the job application, tell her about Stash's surgery, and about my dentist appointments, so I'm kind of looking forward to it

I hope your appointment goes well

__________________


R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16

“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
Blue_Bird is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
SlumberKitty
 
Thanks for this!
SlumberKitty
Blue_Bird
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Blue_Bird's Avatar
Blue_Bird is ready for recovery!
 
Member Since: Jun 2013
Location: Hogwarts
Posts: 36,660 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
14.3k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jun 28, 2022 at 09:33 AM
  #50
Stash likes to make an appearance during my appointments (they're on video chat) she gets up on the table and tries to walk across my laptop lol

__________________


R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16

“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
Blue_Bird is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
SlumberKitty
 
Thanks for this!
Sometimes psychotic
SlumberKitty
Legendary Wise Elder
 
SlumberKitty's Avatar
SlumberKitty is staying stable.
 
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
117.7k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jun 28, 2022 at 09:34 AM
  #51
Quote:
Originally Posted by Blue_Bird View Post
Stash likes to make an appearance during my appointments (they're on video chat) she gets up on the table and tries to walk across my laptop lol
Awe, cutie! My cat Helen rarely makes an appearance during my session but my T often shows me her pets!

__________________
Dum Spiro Spero
IC XC NIKA
SlumberKitty is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Blue_Bird
 
Thanks for this!
Blue_Bird
SlumberKitty
Legendary Wise Elder
 
SlumberKitty's Avatar
SlumberKitty is staying stable.
 
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
117.7k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jun 28, 2022 at 12:06 PM
  #52
Feeling like I am unraveling a bit. I have things to look forward to in the next few days so I am trying to hold it together. But at the same time, I feel like I am falling apart spectacularly.

__________________
Dum Spiro Spero
IC XC NIKA
SlumberKitty is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Blue_Bird
SlumberKitty
Legendary Wise Elder
 
SlumberKitty's Avatar
SlumberKitty is staying stable.
 
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
117.7k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jun 28, 2022 at 12:06 PM
  #53
Stupid negative symptoms.

__________________
Dum Spiro Spero
IC XC NIKA
SlumberKitty is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Blue_Bird, Desoxyn
Blue_Bird
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Blue_Bird's Avatar
Blue_Bird is ready for recovery!
 
Member Since: Jun 2013
Location: Hogwarts
Posts: 36,660 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
14.3k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jun 28, 2022 at 12:38 PM
  #54
Ooops, my appointment is at 3pm not 3:30, good thing I realized before it.

I'm so tired, I slept 4 hours last night. I can barely keep my eyes open and am getting really anxious. I want to have my appointment over with so I can take a nap

__________________


R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16

“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
Blue_Bird is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Desoxyn, SlumberKitty
Blue_Bird
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Blue_Bird's Avatar
Blue_Bird is ready for recovery!
 
Member Since: Jun 2013
Location: Hogwarts
Posts: 36,660 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
14.3k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jun 28, 2022 at 12:41 PM
  #55
I can't seem to function under 10 hours of sleep. I mean I can do stuff, I get things done, exercise, errands, etc but I feel horrible halfway through the day from not sleeping enough. I've been making myself get up at 5am everyday but that is starting to seem like not enough sleep. But I want more time in the day to do things and get things done. I almost never want to sleep, I hate going to sleep because it puts everything on pause

And I also don't like dreaming. It's not that I have horrible dreams. I just don't exactly like being in a dream world where I think things are real and real life and then waking up

I start off the day at like 100% then by afternoon I'm like at 20% function

__________________


R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16

“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
Blue_Bird is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
SlumberKitty
SlumberKitty
Legendary Wise Elder
 
SlumberKitty's Avatar
SlumberKitty is staying stable.
 
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
117.7k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jun 28, 2022 at 12:50 PM
  #56
I function better with about 10 hours of sleep too Blue_Bird though I usually get 8 maybe 8.5. On the weekends I get 10-12 usually.

__________________
Dum Spiro Spero
IC XC NIKA
SlumberKitty is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Blue_Bird
 
Thanks for this!
Blue_Bird
SlumberKitty
Legendary Wise Elder
 
SlumberKitty's Avatar
SlumberKitty is staying stable.
 
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
117.7k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jun 28, 2022 at 01:43 PM
  #57
I don't know if I am having negative symptoms of Schizoaffective disorder or if I am having symptoms of depression, since they kind of overlap, or if I am having both. I want to go home and sleep but I feel like I have a responsibility to be at work. At least we have Monday off for Independence day so I feel like I will get a little break with the three day weekend. I don't know. Maybe I need to go to the hospital again. I don't feel suicidal but I am having a lot of difficulty with how I am feeling. Maybe my therapist can help me tonight. I don't know if I will be able to adequately explain how I feel. Tomorrow is my birthday. I don't want to feel this crappy tomorrow.

__________________
Dum Spiro Spero
IC XC NIKA
SlumberKitty is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Blue_Bird, Desoxyn
Blue_Bird
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Blue_Bird's Avatar
Blue_Bird is ready for recovery!
 
Member Since: Jun 2013
Location: Hogwarts
Posts: 36,660 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
14.3k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jun 28, 2022 at 02:22 PM
  #58
My therapist never showed up for my video appointment, so I have no clue what happened, I waited for 25 minutes then turned the video chat off because it seemed like she wasn't getting on

__________________


R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16

“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
Blue_Bird is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Desoxyn, SlumberKitty, Sometimes psychotic
SlumberKitty
Legendary Wise Elder
 
SlumberKitty's Avatar
SlumberKitty is staying stable.
 
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
117.7k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jun 28, 2022 at 02:30 PM
  #59
Sorry about your therapist, Blue_Bird! That sucks. I hope she can reschedule soon!

__________________
Dum Spiro Spero
IC XC NIKA
SlumberKitty is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Blue_Bird
 
Thanks for this!
Blue_Bird
Desoxyn
Metaphysic
 
Desoxyn's Avatar
Desoxyn We are one mind
 
Member Since: Aug 2016
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 12,962 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
4,902 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jun 28, 2022 at 02:47 PM
  #60
I felt like I was tripping last night from too much alcohol, energy drink and trying to skip the olanzepine. DP/DR, tears pouring down my face (And I wasn't crying). I Googled a lot of weird stuff (Such as, "I'm beyond this reality" and "I can't do this anymore"), had bad intrusive OCD thoughts.

I use magical thinking to play mind tricks on myself such as, "If my cat jumps off the bed, I'm going to die tonight" - and my cat did.. So I said, "If this next heart beat doesn't stop, I won't die tonight" - And so I get myself out of it.

I had intrusive thoughts about harming my cat (Which I would never do).. But also like.. Being attacked by my thoughts philosophically.. Isolation.. - That's the problem. I wonder about what people are doing - And I'm just alone in my room and I don't want to live this life anymore. Yet I have a desire to be self-destructive. I was in the bathroom, screaming at myself in the mirror, saying "WTF is all of this", swinging my arms in the air, laughing.

The feeling of every single one of my thoughts being broadcasted inter dimensionally, to the CIA or gang stalkers, being watched.

But I'm OK now.. This stuff happens often enough that I just accept it. A lot of the thoughts I have are mystical but the alcohol can drain my serotonin (OCD, DP/DR) and then my dopamine (Mild psychosis) so I'm less aware and feel good at first - And then tuned out, feeling bad.

So that's how my night went ^-;

I'm doing so good but I mess it up - I have all the right meds, good job, live in a great place, things to look forward to, freedom, ability to relax.. So I can't mess it up anymore.. I just have bad memories of the past and they haunt me every second of every day.

I don't feel like making an appointment with my therapist right now - It seems like too much work. I think she judges me - Like I think about with everyone in my life.
Desoxyn is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Blue_Bird, SlumberKitty
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 04:07 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.