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Member Since Jul 2022
Location: Spain
Posts: 124
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#1
Hi, I hope this is the place to post this. Yes I am bipolar, but hopefully all psychosis are similar or relatable.
I wanted to tell you my psychosis has changed during the last 6 years. I used to feel mania and psychosis, a feeling that I'd compare as being "touched" by the hand of God, truly special and very positive. Sure, I got into some trouble eventually, but my attitude was very positive and I saw the world with awe, expectation and a true desire to explore it everyday. This has changed. I don't know if any of your pdocs ask you about your specific thoughts during psychosis... I know mine doesn't care a bit about it (I could believe I'm an Apostle and he wouldn't know)...Maybe he and I should discuss if I feel depressed or elated during my psychosis, but that just hasn't happened... Nowadays I feel a rush of adrenaline but I see the world, and specially its inhabitants through a very negative optic... It ends up affecting me, and yes, I am aware I might have delusions mostly, but I wonder why this shift has happened, why this disillusionment... I'm not violent but I feel aggression in the world, in the people that surround me. Has this ever happened to you? Cheers. __________________ Dx: bipolar type 1 with psychosis + some OCD Invega 3mg Depakine 800mg Plenur 400mg |
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Yaowen
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jan 2020
Location: USA
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#2
Since I suffer from unipolar depression I fear that I cannot be of much help to you. I am sorry that the situation with your pdoc is not ideal. It can be hard to find a pdoc that is able to balance pharmacological treatment with talk treatment. Where I live there are few pdocs and their case loads are so heavy that they can spend only a very brief time with patients.
I have heard from some people that bipolar is a heavier burden than unipolar depression, so my heart goes out to you. Hopefully people with experiences similar to yours will see your post and respond to it with something truly helpful to you. Sometimes it is only people going through the same or similar things who can truly understand. |
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MrAbbott
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Member
Member Since Jul 2022
Location: Spain
Posts: 124
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#3
Quote:
Take care . __________________ Dx: bipolar type 1 with psychosis + some OCD Invega 3mg Depakine 800mg Plenur 400mg Last edited by MrAbbott; Aug 06, 2022 at 05:55 PM.. |
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Student of Life
Member Since Mar 2014
Location: South America
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#4
Quote:
However, that feeling came down (back to Earth) I suppose. Disillusionment sucks, I think for me it happens as a result of "coming to terms with" my psychosis. I just know that was a hard process for me. I hope you can navigate it and ultimately feel good. __________________ "Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it!” |
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MrAbbott
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Member Since Jul 2022
Location: Spain
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#5
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Your message is very interesting . So it does happen. I always wanted to linger in the experience, but now I wish to control and stop it asap. I sometimes wonder if in the past, people were able to redirect psychosis in a constructive way. Just saying... tc then. Thanks. __________________ Dx: bipolar type 1 with psychosis + some OCD Invega 3mg Depakine 800mg Plenur 400mg |
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WastingAsparagus
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since May 2013
Location: Chicago
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#6
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I think they redirected it into shamanism and other healing. Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk __________________ Hugs! |
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MrAbbott
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Member
Member Since Jul 2022
Location: Spain
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#7
Quote:
Pity they have to maim it and control it with modern medication if it could be redirected for good. I learned of some shamans in Mexico and wanted to visit them long time ago. I had OCD and finally didn't do it. Years later, I ended up contacting a local healer or (witch doctor) during one of my early psychosis. Very few of those in my area, but it didn't work. I do believe he tried to help me at first, but I somehow never trusted him. I was right, he had a much darker side to him than obvious and it was a good thing to avoid, but now I'll never know what he could have done for me in the way we're discussing. __________________ Dx: bipolar type 1 with psychosis + some OCD Invega 3mg Depakine 800mg Plenur 400mg |
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since May 2013
Location: Chicago
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#8
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Oh I don’t think they can make it go away so much as channel it. Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk __________________ Hugs! |
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MrAbbott
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Member Since Jul 2022
Location: Spain
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#9
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I'd be happy to channel it and get rid of all this medication. My first psychosis was so intense I couldn't remember many events or specially some events in the right order. Yes, I'd like to learn some methods to "surf the wave" when it comes rather than smothering it artificially. I'll never know, cose I'm into the meds' web big time now and nobody seems to offer a better alternative...here, in the US or in the deep Amazonian forest, I guess... __________________ Dx: bipolar type 1 with psychosis + some OCD Invega 3mg Depakine 800mg Plenur 400mg |
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WastingAsparagus
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Member
Member Since Aug 2022
Location: USA tx
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#10
I don’t remember everything about psychosis but i have been living on the streets due to my mental states.
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Desoxyn, MrAbbott, Sometimes psychotic, WastingAsparagus
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#11
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Member
Member Since Aug 2022
Location: USA tx
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#12
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Member
Member Since Aug 2022
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#13
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Sometimes psychotic
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#14
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