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Old 09-26-2022, 06:20 PM   #641
Desoxyn
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Avoidant personality disorder - Wikipedia
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Old 09-26-2022, 08:47 PM   #642
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Nvm. I'll never understand and it's incredibly difficult to thrive with this.
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Old 09-26-2022, 09:37 PM   #643
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Default Roll Call 195

Iím kind of too embarrassed to bring up what I brought up on here the other day to my therapist. The thing about when I was a kid. I keep thinking I want to talk about it and it would be good to talk about it to thinking no Iíll just not because itís embarrassing.

Iím not even sure how to bring it up into conversation. Like it just feels awkward. But I really feel like Iíll feel better if I actually discuss it with someone and move on from it. It just feels unhealthy to keep a secret your embarrassed/ashamed about for 20 years even if it is a stupid one. Especially since it caused me so much internal turmoil as a kid.

I don't have an appointment with her again until the 11th, so I have some time to figure out how to bring it up

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Old 09-26-2022, 09:51 PM   #644
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Default Re: Roll Call 195

I'm volunteering tomorrow. I'm extremely nervous
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Old Yesterday, 09:31 AM   #645
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Default Re: Roll Call 195

Hope your volunteering goes well, Blue_Bird! I'm sure they love having the help!dvf

I also hope you can find a way to talk to your T about your secret. Maybe write it down and have her read it. Or do you see each other virtually? Maybe type it in the chat? I do think it is good to get the secrets out. They just hold us back. HUGS Kit
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Old Yesterday, 09:48 AM   #646
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Default Re: Roll Call 195

Doing mostly okay. A little bit of psychosis. Could be a lot worse. 8 weeks since I was inpatient. I think I have grown since then. I hope so anyway.
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Old Yesterday, 11:15 AM   #647
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Default Re: Roll Call 195

I'm so incredibly overwhelmed by this particular incarnation
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Old Yesterday, 11:56 AM   #648
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Default Re: Roll Call 195

Thanks Kit, volunteering went well

I think Iíll just bring it up to her by saying I want to talk about something that was difficult for me as a child

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Old Yesterday, 11:58 AM   #649
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Default Re: Roll Call 195

I prepared sandwiches and bagged lunches then I served tacos and soup in the main lunch line to people with two other ladies. I also helped clean and prepared salads for their dinner shift.

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Old Yesterday, 12:37 PM   #650
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Default Re: Roll Call 195

Quote:
Originally Posted by Desoxyn View Post
I'm so incredibly overwhelmed by this particular incarnation
Things are okay though!

I will.. have cognitive gears broken, get parkinsons and alzeimers etc.

For now, I'll just go with the flow. Beautiful life - that I sometimes can't see
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Old Yesterday, 03:13 PM   #651
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Default Re: Roll Call 195

I had a good day. I feel like it was productive. Excited to go to sleep tonight though. Really tired. I remember when I was going to college full time I would always go to one of the study cubicles in the library and study and would always end up laying my head down at some point for awhile due to being exhausted from my meds. Thatís how I feel right now. Speaking of college, I start in January. So in about 3 months from now Iíll be back to taking classes. Going part-time. So Iíll be taking two classes. Going to take the online classes since I donít want to have to go all the way to the college and back a lot. Especially since it will be winter and thereíll be lots of snow and ice out.

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Old Yesterday, 03:15 PM   #652
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Default Roll Call 195

Iím honestly so excited to start college again. I love it. Studying, learning, etc

Iím gonna be a college student again!!

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Old Yesterday, 03:23 PM   #653
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Default Re: Roll Call 195

Yay! So happy for you, Blue_Bird!
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Old Yesterday, 04:47 PM   #654
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Default Re: Roll Call 195

I was feeling bad and wondering why because I did eat breakfast and lunch and a snack or two today so I didn't see why because I know I ate enough, but then I realized even though I ate the last time I had any actual protein was 8am, and it''s almost 6pm now. So I had something that has protein in it and am feeling better, it made a big difference. I'm trying to do this intuitive eating thing and work on getting over my eating disorder.
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Old Yesterday, 05:14 PM   #655
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Default Re: Roll Call 195

I have anxiety about meds. Last night I never got them. And I've been feeling really crappy all day.

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Old Yesterday, 09:06 PM   #656
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Default Re: Roll Call 195

Quote:
Originally Posted by Angelique67 View Post
I have anxiety about meds. Last night I never got them. And I've been feeling really crappy all day.

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This is what happens after a pandemic - Rules go out the window (Especially in already ******/abusive place). Yes.. Not giving meds is abuse/neglect.

I hope you feel better soon, possibly be given a good anxiolytic
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Old Yesterday, 09:50 PM   #657
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Default Re: Roll Call 195

I sat by the fire and had a BBQ with people. I felt anxious at first, but then started talking normally - In the end it was nice.

I might sit by the fire and listen to a podcast like I used to do.
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Old Today, 08:47 AM   #658
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Default Re: Roll Call 195

I keep getting the feeling when I am underneath lights, not like long fluorescent bulbs that are shaped like a tube but more the spotlight kind that they are taking my thoughts from me. I know I am having a bit of psychosis, according to my T, and I asked a close friend if she thought that was real and she said no. But it feels so real!
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