Roll Call 196

Sometimes psychotic · Nov 06, 2022 at 09:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desoxyn

You know me.. lol

Things must be fixed now! (And then I make it worse).

But no I'll try.

Sometimes the brain must rest and repair….

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Job 30 26 · Nov 06, 2022 at 10:26 PM

Things are well, at 53K words now 171 pages. Unreal how what seems to be minor tweaks add up to 100 pages haha. Still disturbs me people read my posts on here though, so I try to keep it light and simple. Nosey people who stalk people with mental health issues really have no life of their own if you ask me *eye roll* There got that out of my system. =)

Job 30 26 · Nov 06, 2022 at 10:36 PM

Good to see you Desoxyn. Tripped today and I thought of you! Haha, man was it sublime.

Desoxyn · Nov 06, 2022 at 11:18 PM

Ate too much sugar

Can't even attempt to meditate with all of this toxicity

I have sinned..

SlumberKitty · Nov 07, 2022 at 03:05 PM

Things feel intense right now. Not sure why. No med changes, except I did go to 80 mg Latuda from 60 mg but I wouldn't think that would make a big difference. IDK. I've been taking melatonin on the weekends so I can get extra good sleep. I can't take it during the work week because then I don't want to get up.

Desoxyn · Nov 07, 2022 at 04:17 PM

Calm, unmotivated.

Breathing was difficult.. Like a placebo of picking up kratom (I didn't even take it) + I shouldn't take with atenolol.. So I'm just leaving it in my room.

There's no stress or anxiety.. I just have so many things I want to do - And I don't start (Even though I want to do these things so badly).

I'm still tired. Poor self esteem. I do and say all of the wrong things. I don't say the right things.

Blue_Bird · Nov 07, 2022 at 06:46 PM

I keep adding stuff to my to-do list and over scheduling myself for different thing. Like cleaning all the time and exercising and going to social stuff , I get it all done but it's kind of ridiculous to expect myself to do this everyday that doesn't include all the appointments and other stuff I have like errands, it's fine I guess but I feel like I can never sit down and relax I have to keep getting up and doing stuff , I can't let myself relax for 5 minutes. I've been up since 5am doing stuff today and I'm just now trying to relax for the first time and it's going on 7pm

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Blue_Bird · Nov 07, 2022 at 06:46 PM

It's like some weird obsessive productivity and I can't seem to stop

Like I'm trying to relax for the first time in about 14 hours and yet I keep feeling like getting up and getting started on tomorrow's stuff

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downandlonely · Nov 07, 2022 at 06:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desoxyn

Ate too much sugar

Can't even attempt to meditate with all of this toxicity

I have sinned..

I have eaten too much sugar often. I don't think it's a sin. You seem to be very hard on yourself.

Blue_Bird · Nov 07, 2022 at 06:57 PM

Sorry I haven't caught up with post here the past few days

Desoxyn and SK I hope you both feel better

Falcon it's really good to see you, I'm sorry for what you're dealing with as a result of the impulsive spending, I've been impulsively spending a lot lately but I have a payee so that makes it so I don't have access to the entirety of my bank account which helps stop me from like completely putting myself in debt which I I would be and used to be when I didn't have a payee. Have you considered something like that? :Hugs:

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Blue_Bird · Nov 07, 2022 at 06:58 PM

Angelique I'm sorry about your roommate I hope things work out eventually

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cogladaid · Nov 07, 2022 at 08:03 PM

Eating disorder talk sorry.

Possible trigger:

I’m down more than 50lbs. Everyone says it’s great. I get congrats from everyone.

I can’t help myself. I can’t stop I don’t want to. I just want to lose weight.

I’m aiming to lose another 10lbs by the end of the month so I can say to my doctor I’m down 65lbs and under 300lbs finally.

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Desoxyn · Nov 07, 2022 at 08:49 PM

"The Strategic Petroleum Reserve (SPR) is an emergency stockpile of petroleum maintained by the United States Department of Energy (DOE). It is the largest publicly known emergency supply in the world; its underground tanks in Louisiana and Texas have capacity for 714 million barrels (113,500,000 m3)"

I just need to stop the tiredness. And tap into stimulant reserve. It's the only way. My mom said that I "don't have much to do right now which can make (me) more tired" - But tomorrow we can do something (Since she's off work).

I hate antipsychotic zombieness. It's not "normal" or "natural" tiredness. It's synthetic, foreign, death.

"The current inventory is displayed on the SPR's website.[3] As of November 4, 2022, the inventory was 396.2 million barrels (62,990,000 m3)."

Angelique67 · Nov 08, 2022 at 03:06 PM

I hope everyone feels ok today. I've been having a lot of nervous energy.

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SlumberKitty · Nov 08, 2022 at 04:12 PM

Hugs Angelique

Angelique67 · Nov 08, 2022 at 04:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SlumberKitty

Hugs Angelique

Thanks Kit. I hope you'll feel better soon.

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Desoxyn · Nov 08, 2022 at 05:14 PM

Today! Is the best of days! Look, I took a pic..

Roll Call 196

Blue_Bird · Nov 09, 2022 at 07:50 AM

So stressed. Have a program recertification appointment later today for my apartment, also have an inspection tomorrow, plus paper work I need to get like very soon (time sensitive) that I need to wait for in the mail which I have no idea how long it will take to actually get here, and stuff I need to straighten out with social security

Blue_Bird · Nov 09, 2022 at 07:51 AM

Have an appointment with my psychiatrist in 2 hours from now

Blue_Bird · Nov 09, 2022 at 07:54 AM

Oh yeah, one of my paranoias involves police, and now the building is going to have a more prominent police prescence in the building and on the premises due to the drug activity and prostitution going on in the building, so having/seeing police around all the time is going to feed into my paranoia like crazy

I feel sick with anxiety

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Roll Call 196

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Job 30 26 Grand Member Member Since Jan 2020 Location: Norway Posts: 897 4 1,251 hugs given	Nov 06, 2022 at 10:26 PM #422 Things are well, at 53K words now 171 pages. Unreal how what seems to be minor tweaks add up to 100 pages haha. Still disturbs me people read my posts on here though, so I try to keep it light and simple. Nosey people who stalk people with mental health issues really have no life of their own if you ask me eye roll There got that out of my system. =)

Job 30 26 Grand Member Member Since Jan 2020 Location: Norway Posts: 897 4 1,251 hugs given	Nov 06, 2022 at 10:36 PM #423 Good to see you Desoxyn. Tripped today and I thought of you! Haha, man was it sublime.

Desoxyn Metaphysic Member Since Aug 2016 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 12,987 (SuperPoster!) 7 4,912 hugs given	Nov 06, 2022 at 11:18 PM #424 Ate too much sugar Can't even attempt to meditate with all of this toxicity I have sinned..

SlumberKitty Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jul 2018 Location: CA Posts: 27,329 (SuperPoster!) 5 117.7k hugs given	Nov 07, 2022 at 03:05 PM #425 Things feel intense right now. Not sure why. No med changes, except I did go to 80 mg Latuda from 60 mg but I wouldn't think that would make a big difference. IDK. I've been taking melatonin on the weekends so I can get extra good sleep. I can't take it during the work week because then I don't want to get up. __________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA

Blue_Bird Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2013 Location: Hogwarts Posts: 36,743 (SuperPoster!) 10 14.3k hugs given	Nov 07, 2022 at 06:58 PM #431 Angelique I'm sorry about your roommate I hope things work out eventually Sent from my M8L using Tapatalk __________________ My Blog: https://livingwithachaoticmind.wordpress.com/ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi

Angelique67 Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Oct 2014 Location: USA Posts: 22,115 (SuperPoster!) 9	Nov 08, 2022 at 03:06 PM #434 I hope everyone feels ok today. I've been having a lot of nervous energy. Sent from my Nokia C2 Tennen using Tapatalk

SlumberKitty Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jul 2018 Location: CA Posts: 27,329 (SuperPoster!) 5 117.7k hugs given	Nov 08, 2022 at 04:12 PM #435 Hugs Angelique __________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA

Desoxyn Metaphysic Member Since Aug 2016 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 12,987 (SuperPoster!) 7 4,912 hugs given	Nov 08, 2022 at 05:14 PM #437 Today! Is the best of days! Look, I took a pic..

Blue_Bird Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2013 Location: Hogwarts Posts: 36,743 (SuperPoster!) 10 14.3k hugs given	Nov 09, 2022 at 07:51 AM #439 Have an appointment with my psychiatrist in 2 hours from now __________________ My Blog: https://livingwithachaoticmind.wordpress.com/ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi