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Default Nov 09, 2022 at 10:57 AM
  #441
About to head to a psychiatrist appointment

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Default Nov 09, 2022 at 11:26 AM
  #442
My doctor said the 400mg of thorazine is fine and she's not upset at me for going back to my dose, she says she trusts me and knows I can tell when my symptoms are getting bad and if I needed to make a change like going back to a higher dose that helps me she said that is completely okay

Also my apartment supportive housing person assured me that the recertification thing is not me being kicked out or being in any kind of trouble

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Default Nov 09, 2022 at 12:27 PM
  #443
Listening to the new anti hero remix on repeat…

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Default Nov 09, 2022 at 02:34 PM
  #444
I lay in bed for 2 hours this morning - Felt too comfortable (Like heroin). I didn't want to waste time..

I plan to read this afternoon (Instead of taking stim and staying up at night - I went to bed early).

Happy day though! I'm taking the pregabalin at night (Instead of in the middle of the day).

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Default Nov 09, 2022 at 05:09 PM
  #445
Therapist cancelled on me last night about 10 minutes before session. I asked her if she had any time tomorrow evening to reschedule. Still waiting to see.

Made some Ethiopian Dabo bread. Brought some for my colleagues. The other loaf is for Pastor/Pastor wife.

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Default Nov 10, 2022 at 11:19 AM
  #446
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Originally Posted by SlumberKitty View Post
Therapist cancelled on me last night about 10 minutes before session. I asked her if she had any time tomorrow evening to reschedule. Still waiting to see.


Made some Ethiopian Dabo bread. Brought some for my colleagues. The other loaf is for Pastor/Pastor wife.
I'm sorry, Kit. She shouldn't cancel like that. I know you like her though.

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Default Nov 10, 2022 at 11:22 AM
  #447
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Today! Is the best of days! Look, I took a pic..


Roll Call 196
That's a beautiful picture.

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Default Nov 10, 2022 at 11:24 AM
  #448
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Oh yeah, one of my paranoias involves police, and now the building is going to have a more prominent police prescence in the building and on the premises due to the drug activity and prostitution going on in the building, so having/seeing police around all the time is going to feed into my paranoia like crazy

I feel sick with anxiety
On the good side, it decreases your chances of getting robbed and attacked.

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Default Nov 10, 2022 at 03:28 PM
  #449
Pdoc yesterday put me on depakote, I am gonna pick that up tonight and take my first dose.

It's the time of year for my food stamps to get renewed. I got a letter in the mail informing me of this, and saying they would send another letter with the date and time for my interview. I did the application online, but never got the letter about my appointment date. Got another letter today saying I missed my appointment even though I never got notified of when my appointment was in the first place. So I called the department of human services and told them this, was told I'd get a call back from a social worker. Just sitting around and waiting for that. Hopefully they call today, if they don't then I will call tomorrow. Very anxious about this.


In happier news, I'm getting groceries delivered tonight and will have a nice big comfort meal for dinner. I also ordered a new mouse for my computer because my current one is a bit broken.

Hope you are all doing well.

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Default Nov 10, 2022 at 03:45 PM
  #450
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Pdoc yesterday put me on depakote, I am gonna pick that up tonight and take my first dose.

It's the time of year for my food stamps to get renewed. I got a letter in the mail informing me of this, and saying they would send another letter with the date and time for my interview. I did the application online, but never got the letter about my appointment date. Got another letter today saying I missed my appointment even though I never got notified of when my appointment was in the first place. So I called the department of human services and told them this, was told I'd get a call back from a social worker. Just sitting around and waiting for that. Hopefully they call today, if they don't then I will call tomorrow. Very anxious about this.


In happier news, I'm getting groceries delivered tonight and will have a nice big comfort meal for dinner. I also ordered a new mouse for my computer because my current one is a bit broken.

Hope you are all doing well.

Hey falcon…good to hear from you…sorry they messed up your food stamp appointment, I’m sure it will all work out.

Mmm comfort meal….I love day one groceries…

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Default Nov 10, 2022 at 04:24 PM
  #451
The local DHS closes at 3pm, so I won't be getting a call about my food stamps today. Tomorrow is veteran's day so they won't be open again until Monday. I will call then. I'm sure this will work out, just gotta keep on top of it.

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Default Nov 10, 2022 at 04:30 PM
  #452
I don't put enough effort into things =[
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Default Nov 10, 2022 at 04:31 PM
  #453
Full of manic energy today. Mostly hyper lip syncing and being unfocused at work. But I managed to get almost all my work done before the long weekend.

Yay!

My lamotrigine is still in a tapering stage so it’s been on and off hyper.

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Default Nov 10, 2022 at 04:43 PM
  #454
No it's just what someone said to me (About other people).

I asked my mom what it means if "I don't judge people" (Cuz Google gave no answer - It's just about, "How to stop judging people).

It means I'm empathetic (And a few other things she said). Wealth of information my mom is... I talked to her about feeling suicidal last night + All of the articles I read (About 5-10 a day) - And they're all good.. She says to print out the most important advice..

Self-therapy ftw... Like an entrepreneur. I really would like to have my own income. But I hate selling things.. and being involved in community (Just cuz everything is so recked, the world is smaller... with Amazon, social media and such). One of the biggest problems is that people judge.

I don't care what anyone does or says (I really mean that) - As long as it doesn't effect my own realm... and then the thing about people wanting to save the world, have to look inward right?... Not 90% can have as much common sense/are awakened enough. I still see people fighting about religious beliefs all over the internet... I can never truly follow any rule (Even my strictest rules, I break them..).

A tornado of confusion was in my mind last night.. I thought, "I truly/only don't want to kms a little less than I really do" - And it happens so often that I get mad and say "JUST DO IT...", etc.. My dad said that it's easy - But the psychology/philosophical existential problem of it is difficult to handle.

I am no free spirit like I wish I was... I have a lot of darkness. But everything is okay when I dissociate into my integrated self. It just will take a while for me to manifest that. I'm very normal (And yes, there is such thing - Now a days).

Anyway, I woke up at 10am and got out of bed at 1245pm... No good..
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Default Nov 10, 2022 at 04:47 PM
  #455
"It usually happens when people get older, wiser - Good at listening" my mom said. I forget what else....
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Default Nov 10, 2022 at 04:50 PM
  #456
Roll Call 196

I don't want to become negative. That's my greatest fear.
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Default Nov 10, 2022 at 04:56 PM
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No it's just what someone said to me (About other people).

I asked my mom what it means if "I don't judge people" (Cuz Google gave no answer - It's just about, "How to stop judging people).

It means I'm empathetic (And a few other things she said). Wealth of information my mom is... I talked to her about feeling suicidal last night + All of the articles I read (About 5-10 a day) - And they're all good.. She says to print out the most important advice..

Self-therapy ftw... Like an entrepreneur. I really would like to have my own income. But I hate selling things.. and being involved in community (Just cuz everything is so recked, the world is smaller... with Amazon, social media and such). One of the biggest problems is that people judge.

I don't care what anyone does or says (I really mean that) - As long as it doesn't effect my own realm... and then the thing about people wanting to save the world, have to look inward right?... Not 90% can have as much common sense/are awakened enough. I still see people fighting about religious beliefs all over the internet... I can never truly follow any rule (Even my strictest rules, I break them..).

A tornado of confusion was in my mind last night.. I thought, "I truly/only don't want to kms a little less than I really do" - And it happens so often that I get mad and say "JUST DO IT...", etc.. My dad said that it's easy - But the psychology/philosophical existential problem of it is difficult to handle.

I am no free spirit like I wish I was... I have a lot of darkness. But everything is okay when I dissociate into my integrated self. It just will take a while for me to manifest that. I'm very normal (And yes, there is such thing - Now a days).

Anyway, I woke up at 10am and got out of bed at 1245pm... No good..
Sounds like you’re true neutral d and d style…..

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Default Nov 10, 2022 at 05:14 PM
  #458
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Sounds like you’re true neutral d and d style…..
Went from chaotic good, to chaotic neutral, to true neutral.. Interesting =[

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Default Nov 10, 2022 at 05:31 PM
  #459
Made turkey bacon and eggs for dinner. Apartment inspections were rescheduled

I went to the art group thing today. It was just me and the supportive housing specialist, no one else showed up, so we colored some coloring sheets and talked a bit

Did laundry today.

finally am able to relax some after a week back on the 400mg thorazine. I fell asleep on the couch last night around 8pm while doing a meditation, didn't intend to, it just happened, I still had my bluetooth headphones on when I woke up at 2am immediately went into my room and went straight back to sleep until about 7:30am.

Going grocery shopping tomorrow. On saturday I'm going to my friends house, should be fun.

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Default Nov 10, 2022 at 07:41 PM
  #460
I can't wait for vacation in 3 weeks it's taking too long

The world continues however to burn like a garbage machine on fire

Maybe that's just a perspective... I'm listening to Alan Watts (Really helps)
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