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Sometimes psychotic
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Default Nov 10, 2022 at 07:44 PM
  #461
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Went from chaotic good, to chaotic neutral, to true neutral.. Interesting =[

^-
Oh maybe you’re chaotic neutral, I’m not sure…..

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Default Nov 10, 2022 at 08:32 PM
  #462
I will take an Ashwagandha capsule for intense stress

My dad texted me and wants to buy the new Tesla phone.
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Default Nov 10, 2022 at 10:19 PM
  #463
I can be an idiot many of times. I am trying really hard and stress myself out a lot.
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Default Nov 11, 2022 at 04:04 PM
  #464
How is all today??

I'm good (I think). I want to have fun in life...
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Default Nov 11, 2022 at 04:33 PM
  #465
I'm good Desoxyn. I sent my T a note saying, I guess it's Tuesday then? So we will see what she says. I have a lot on my plate this weekend so I don't think I want to add a therapy appointment to that.

I am getting set for Advent!

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Default Nov 11, 2022 at 08:21 PM
  #466
I feel too good.. sipping on an energy drink

The Invega tiredness is gone. Although I still sleep 12 hours a night

I think working part time might be better for me than not working (Like now while my work is closed for 3 weeks). Although my mom is thinking I'm lazy (Sleeping in, staying up at night).

Balance is key I guess
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Default Nov 12, 2022 at 05:28 PM
  #467
new headphones and mouse came in a day early, got them all set up. Nice bit of dopamine there, always makes my day better lol.

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Default Nov 12, 2022 at 05:28 PM
  #468
Hey I had a brief hiatus. I am on 15 mg olanzapine, feeling good, but my cholesterol is extremely high now. Anyway that sucks. I am not sure what to do about that. I hope there's some way (metformin or something) to lower my metabolism. But really I've been considering just going off of the olanzapine. Which I know would be bad most likely. But it's causing really high cholesterol. So that's bad. Which I think I said already, but I don't know. It's stressing me out.

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Default Nov 12, 2022 at 05:29 PM
  #469
Anyway I made a thing on Substack. Not sure if I'm gonna use it. It's to write a newsletter.

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Default Nov 12, 2022 at 05:30 PM
  #470
Had depersonalization last night (Not derealization though). Was like tripping.. But since I've been so isolated for over a year and talked to no one, all of the people that I've recently met, don't exist (In my head) - It was only just my own voice/internal monologues.

Quite horrifying. I stood around, talking to my cat "What are we going to do about this.. we're in hell.. It goes on forever and ever and ever.. Mirrors and mirrors and mirrors"

It's very bad. I'll take the olanzepine every evening at 5pm again (Instead of right before bed).
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Default Nov 12, 2022 at 05:36 PM
  #471
I'm honestly more scared of the high cholesterol and metabolic stuff than I am about psychosis. Besides, I feel like I'm good on the psychosis front since I already take 30 mg Abilify. I think I am going to try to go off the olanzapine...

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Default Nov 12, 2022 at 05:40 PM
  #472
Nvm I am going to wait and talk to my doctor.

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Default Nov 12, 2022 at 05:48 PM
  #473
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I'm honestly more scared of the high cholesterol and metabolic stuff than I am about psychosis. Besides, I feel like I'm good on the psychosis front since I already take 30 mg Abilify. I think I am going to try to go off the olanzapine...
Possible trigger:
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Default Nov 12, 2022 at 05:54 PM
  #474
Although idk if fasting works while on olanzepine and instead cause hypoglycemia.

It's ridiculous.
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Default Nov 12, 2022 at 05:57 PM
  #475
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Although idk if fasting works while on olanzepine and instead cause hypoglycemia.

It's ridiculous.
Yeah idk, haha. It seems like it would maybe have some beneficial effects (fasting). I am going to try to reduce the amounts of sugar I have I guess.

I feel like I already eat relatively healthily though. Which is weird because the cholesterol levels shouldn't be so dang high if I ate heathily.

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Default Nov 12, 2022 at 06:08 PM
  #476
"I use evidence from psychiatric disorders involving the experience of depersonalisation to decompose the causal and cognitive structure of experiences reported as self-awareness. I combine insights from predictive coding theory and the appraisal theory of emotion to explain the association between hypoactivity in the Anterior Insula Cortex and depersonalization. "

"The insular cortex (also insula and insular lobe) is a portion of the cerebral cortex folded deep within the lateral sulcus (the fissure separating the temporal lobe from the parietal and frontal lobes) within each hemisphere of the mammalian brain.

The insulae are believed to be involved in consciousness and play a role in diverse functions usually linked to emotion or the regulation of the body's homeostasis. These functions include compassion, empathy, taste, perception, motor control, self-awareness, cognitive functioning, interpersonal experience, and awareness of homeostatic emotions such as hunger, pain and fatigue. In relation to these, it is involved in psychopathology."
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Default Nov 12, 2022 at 08:35 PM
  #477
I just ran on the treadmill for 45 minutes. Dang. That really helps.

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Default Nov 12, 2022 at 11:45 PM
  #478
I liked the MAOIs from cigarettes.

I need an MAOI
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Default Nov 13, 2022 at 09:46 AM
  #479
Good morning, put my Christmas tree up yesterday. I know it’s early but I wanted it up early this year. I didn’t put one up last year at all. Also baked some homemade pumpkin bread which turned out great.

I need to get on the treadmill too, just got to motivate myself to do it. Been slacking on it the past week.

Don’t have much going on today, just some cleaning really. Tomorrow I’m going grocery shopping and then stopping by the library to drop of my volunteer application.

I sat outside early today, like at 7:30am. Just to get out of my apartment for a little bit and feel fresh air. It was a little cold. In the low 40’s. But the cold air helped me a bit to just feel more awake. It’s a completely overcast day so I just looked at the clouds in the sky for a bit and read some parts of a travel guidebook I have.

I am thinking about going outside again later to just sit out at the table/bench area because I’ve been spending too much time indoors and it starts to get to me after awhile. So even just sitting outside helps.

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Default Nov 13, 2022 at 08:54 PM
  #480
I'm scared of dpdr and psychosis. My mild intelligence is dropping. Cognition is bad.

It's not like the friend I have with autism. My mind will never be that well put together.
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