Roll Call 196

WastingAsparagus · Oct 17, 2022 at 09:18 PM

I feel like crap. I was planning on moving to Argentina in January, and now I'm having second thoughts about it.

WastingAsparagus · Oct 17, 2022 at 09:18 PM

I just feel like a complete fool for letting my emotions get the better of me and leading me down this path of "I can do anything."

Desoxyn · Oct 17, 2022 at 09:45 PM

I have to fake happiness. It's alright.

Blue_Bird · Oct 18, 2022 at 06:54 AM

Good morning, woke up at 6:30am. It's about 8am now. Volunteering today. Feeling dread and anxiety but just gonna show up and do my best. Next Wednesday I think will be my last time volunteering until the spring when the weather is nicer. I'm going back to college in January.

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Blue_Bird · Oct 18, 2022 at 06:55 AM

Also got to stop at the library later to pick up a request and then buy more cat litter at the store.

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Blue_Bird · Oct 18, 2022 at 06:57 AM

Just spending some time with the cats and listening to music while I drink a cup of coffee. Don't have to leave until 10:30am.

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Sometimes psychotic · Oct 18, 2022 at 08:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desoxyn

I'm depressed and have no idea what to do about it anymore. But just ignore this. It's fine.

Hugs desoxyn

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Sometimes psychotic · Oct 18, 2022 at 08:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

I wish I had family, real family that actually gave a **** about me and my life. Ever since my mom passed away in 2016 I don't have that. She had mental health problems and was also an alcoholic but she cared in her own way, we were really good friends if that makes sense , she actually cared about me and made an effort to be there emotionally, unlike the rest of my family. My sister sort of was for a few years, but the past couple years she no longer calls me occasionally just to talk like we used to, she actually used to call me all the time, I haven't gotten a phone call from her for over a year, never texts me, never asks me how I am, she didn't invite me over to thanksgiving last year. Which is fine, I just feel like I did something wrong and I don't know what. I text her to ask her how she is and it's just basic responses if she ever gets back to me. I know she's going through a lot the past couple months, but I'm talking about the past couple of years. Also my 2 brothers talk to her but won't speak to me.

Hugs bluebird….

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Sometimes psychotic · Oct 18, 2022 at 08:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WastingAsparagus

I just feel like a complete fool for letting my emotions get the better of me and leading me down this path of "I can do anything."

Yeah I feel that goes along with mania and it can affect you as much as depression….it’s hard to know if you’re being realistic…

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Blue_Bird · Oct 18, 2022 at 08:58 AM

Took 2 of my prn klonopin (I’m allowed to take up to 2) I rarely take them but there’s no way I’d be able to leave the house today if I didn’t do something about my anxiety

I have been feeling like I’m gonna throw up due to how severe my anxiety is over going to volunteer today

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Blue_Bird · Oct 18, 2022 at 09:14 AM

I talked to my care manager. I feel so anxious I feel on the verge of throwing up and she said it’s not good to feel that way and force myself into situations that make me feel that way. Also volunteering in a kitchen/serving food is high pressure and there is a lot happening fast a lot of stress, so I’m gonna focus on school and lower pressure social stuff until I get ready again to go back to volunteering. I let the place I was volunteering at know. At least I have like 8 hours volunteer experience there now. That’s good

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Blue_Bird · Oct 18, 2022 at 11:58 AM

Walked to the library and then the store. Carried books and 20lb bag of cat litter home so I guess I got my exercise for the day. At least the cats are set on litter, with what they already have and with what I bought today, don't have to worry about cat food or litter the rest of the month

SlumberKitty · Oct 18, 2022 at 12:11 PM

Hugs Desoxyn and Blue_Bird

SlumberKitty · Oct 18, 2022 at 12:16 PM

Still waiting on the letter from my Pdoc's office for my workplace accommodation. I have been waiting 11 days. I find this very stressful and discouraging.

Blue_Bird · Oct 18, 2022 at 12:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SlumberKitty

Still waiting on the letter from my Pdoc's office for my workplace accommodation. I have been waiting 11 days. I find this very stressful and discouraging.

Hope you get it soon

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Desoxyn · Oct 18, 2022 at 12:43 PM

I do feel good this morning. Maybe I'm overreacting slightly with the depression.

It's just difficult to know what to do, how to organize life....

Morning Vyvanse is a nice antidepressant, slightly.

Blue_Bird · Oct 18, 2022 at 02:25 PM

Mustachio is such a love bug today

Blue_Bird · Oct 18, 2022 at 02:51 PM

Feel highly irritable. Not sure if it's from PMS or what

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WastingAsparagus · Oct 18, 2022 at 05:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

Yeah I feel that goes along with mania and it can affect you as much as depression….it’s hard to know if you’re being realistic…

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I have so much mania. But no one has ever diagnosed me with bipolar. But dang. I mean it affects me a lot.

WastingAsparagus · Oct 18, 2022 at 05:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WastingAsparagus

I have so much mania. But no one has ever diagnosed me with bipolar. But dang. I mean it affects me a lot.

I was thinking about asking my pdoc if I can go on Clozapine.

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Roll Call 196

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WastingAsparagus Student of Life Member Since Mar 2014 Location: South America Posts: 4,658 10 2,911 hugs given	Oct 17, 2022 at 09:18 PM #41 I feel like crap. I was planning on moving to Argentina in January, and now I'm having second thoughts about it. __________________ "Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it!”

WastingAsparagus Student of Life Member Since Mar 2014 Location: South America Posts: 4,658 10 2,911 hugs given	Oct 17, 2022 at 09:18 PM #42 I just feel like a complete fool for letting my emotions get the better of me and leading me down this path of "I can do anything." __________________ "Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it!”

Desoxyn Metaphysic Member Since Aug 2016 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 12,981 (SuperPoster!) 7 4,911 hugs given	Oct 17, 2022 at 09:45 PM #43 I have to fake happiness. It's alright.

Blue_Bird Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2013 Location: Hogwarts Posts: 36,727 (SuperPoster!) 10 14.3k hugs given	Oct 18, 2022 at 06:55 AM #45 Also got to stop at the library later to pick up a request and then buy more cat litter at the store. Sent from my M8L using Tapatalk __________________ My Blog: https://livingwithachaoticmind.wordpress.com/ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi

SlumberKitty Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jul 2018 Location: CA Posts: 27,329 (SuperPoster!) 5 117.7k hugs given	Oct 18, 2022 at 12:11 PM #53 Hugs Desoxyn and Blue_Bird __________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA

SlumberKitty Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jul 2018 Location: CA Posts: 27,329 (SuperPoster!) 5 117.7k hugs given	Oct 18, 2022 at 12:16 PM #54 Still waiting on the letter from my Pdoc's office for my workplace accommodation. I have been waiting 11 days. I find this very stressful and discouraging. __________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA

Desoxyn Metaphysic Member Since Aug 2016 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 12,981 (SuperPoster!) 7 4,911 hugs given	Oct 18, 2022 at 12:43 PM #56 I do feel good this morning. Maybe I'm overreacting slightly with the depression. It's just difficult to know what to do, how to organize life.... Morning Vyvanse is a nice antidepressant, slightly.

Blue_Bird Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2013 Location: Hogwarts Posts: 36,727 (SuperPoster!) 10 14.3k hugs given	Oct 18, 2022 at 02:25 PM #57 Mustachio is such a love bug today __________________ My Blog: https://livingwithachaoticmind.wordpress.com/ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi

Blue_Bird Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2013 Location: Hogwarts Posts: 36,727 (SuperPoster!) 10 14.3k hugs given	Oct 18, 2022 at 02:51 PM #58 Feel highly irritable. Not sure if it's from PMS or what Sent from my M8L using Tapatalk __________________ My Blog: https://livingwithachaoticmind.wordpress.com/ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi