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Default Dec 22, 2022 at 08:38 AM
  #1
Hello, made a new roll call

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Default Dec 22, 2022 at 08:40 AM
  #2
@cogladaid (from your previous post in the last thread) yeah you’re right. It’s been working a long time so it’s probably best to leave it alone. I’ve managed to take medications throughout my life since being 14 years old I can probably manage to keep taking them. It’s just frustrating sometimes but I need to just accept it

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Default Dec 22, 2022 at 08:41 AM
  #3
I decided that on Saturday when I go to my friends house to play games and spend Christmas Eve together I’m treating us both to some Chinese takeout. Should be a fun day.

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Default Dec 22, 2022 at 08:47 AM
  #4
Getting on the treadmill in a little while

Then there’s an art group here I’m going to later today

Did it, 30 minutes on the treadmill then after that I did weights and squats with resistance bands. Then ate some plain Greek yogurt with a small amount of protein powder in it right after

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Last edited by Blue_Bird; Dec 22, 2022 at 10:51 AM..
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Default Dec 22, 2022 at 02:47 PM
  #5
Had a good time at the art group thing. We made ornaments. Then when I got back up to my apartment I did 30 minutes of meditation. (15 minutes silent and 15 minutes guided) I feel better than I did the past week

Need to shower soon, and plan on spending some time reading tonight.

My friend is gonna walk me home on Saturday night because I’m staying playing games with him until after it gets dark out (gets dark super early now) and I don’t want to walk home alone in the dark in this neighborhood. So I’m glad about that.

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Default Dec 22, 2022 at 03:04 PM
  #6
Last full day of work today! Half day tomorrow and then it’s Christmas!

We do meatless Christmas Eve. This year we’re having a shrimp ring, escargot, and coconut shrimp. Then Christmas Day with turkey, stuffing, pierogis, cabbage rolls, etc.

New Years I’m already ready for with a bottle of champagne. I do this thing every New Years Eve where I wake up at 4am on December 31st to celebrate the first time zone that jumps in to 2023 and stay up until the last one rings in 2023 at 6am January 1st. It’s hard to do, and honestly it’s silly but it’s my tradition. I was successful last new years.

Anyway starting to feel more christmasy now.

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Default Dec 22, 2022 at 05:35 PM
  #7
.......
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Default Dec 22, 2022 at 05:46 PM
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Default Dec 22, 2022 at 09:22 PM
  #9
My mind really really hurts. All my mind does is torment me. I torture myself on purpose too. So it's my fault.
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Default Dec 22, 2022 at 09:34 PM
  #10
Trying not to berate myself. I ate healthy the past two days. Then had a small microwave mug brownie tonight. It was really damn good. Ive been physically active, exercising , working out. I had one and I’m okay with that, but part of me is like freaking out over the sugar, calories, not sticking to my plan “perfectly” etc. I know that’s ridiculous though. I’ve been doing well with eating more balanced. I just need to not judge myself so harshly when I don’t fit into my preconceived notion of perfect, since there’s obviously no such thing. I should be proud of myself though because I ate one and didn’t overindulge or binge which was sometimes (well…let’s be honest, it was often problem for me)

I ate when I was actually physically hungry today. I didn’t eat to avoid my feelings. And I didn’t restrict myself in my rigid eating rules I usually make.

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Default Dec 22, 2022 at 10:31 PM
  #11
I feel a little better, even before drinking the mush tea.
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Default Dec 23, 2022 at 07:02 AM
  #12
I hope you all have a wonderful holiday season whatever you may celebrate!

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Default Dec 23, 2022 at 01:18 PM
  #13
My neighbor gave me a Christmas card, she also said she got something for my cats and is going to bring it over later , which is so sweet and kind of her to think of me and them

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Default Dec 23, 2022 at 03:48 PM
  #14
I'm the most disturbed and abused person on this planet. I want to burn in hell forever. I don't want heaven. It's full of stupidity and vanity. And everyone is just an animation - There's no reality except my own self. I am God. It's distortion. My mom abused me still. All she cares about is how people see me.

Nothing is real anyways. Who gives a slight ****. Everyones just chasing highs, either of gods love, warmth, comfort. Or destorying the planet. NAd anfck ing up - Opinoin, Ingorance and bla bla why do we exist only to end.

It's like a movie. **** movies. **** symbols and **** every fabric of reality that feels like razor sharp knives, cutting into my skin and planting eggs.
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Default Dec 23, 2022 at 04:03 PM
  #15
I want help but I'm traumatized and want to get ****ed up. I hope I overdose and actually go to a reality where sex and pain doesn't exist.

I'm just being honest. I honestly would give up 100% if I wasn't so scared and made of nonsense.
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Default Dec 23, 2022 at 04:07 PM
  #16
My GP doesn't even think I have schizophrenia. I just have a lot of pain receptors. That's all. I feel pain 100x more than average.
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Default Dec 23, 2022 at 04:36 PM
  #17
Roll Call 197

Roll Call 197

Sorry just venting
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Default Dec 23, 2022 at 05:39 PM
  #18
I feel much better. But I'm afraid of my mom. She has high IQ BPD.

But my dad will arrive tonight!!! We will all have fun My sister will be here too. Beautiful.
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Default Dec 24, 2022 at 08:35 AM
  #19
Heading out to my friend's soon. Spending the whole day there playing games, and eating chinese food. Will be a lot of fun. Gotta bundle up for my walk there, it's 7 degrees farenheit, thankfully it's only like a 20 minute walk there.

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Default Dec 24, 2022 at 08:39 AM
  #20
Question, is a long sleeved tshirt, jeans, a really warm pullover, a winter coat, a beanie hat, thick gloves warm enough to wear on a 20 minute or so walk where there's risk of hypothermia or frostbite cautions? I don't want to cancel plans with my friend on Christmas Eve but I'm questioning if it's safe to be out in it for 25 minutes straight

The windchill is -7

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