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Default Nov 30, 2022 at 05:55 PM
  #761
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Originally Posted by cogladaid View Post
Suddenly feeling so depressed.

I hate everything.

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Default Nov 30, 2022 at 05:57 PM
  #762
I got a Fitbit Inspire 2 recenetly. I'm hoping it helps motivate me to walk more. Last time I had a Fitbit it really helped push me to keep moving

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Default Nov 30, 2022 at 08:16 PM
  #763
Getting the stuff to make tacos on Friday when I go grocery shopping

going to my friend's house on Sunday. Should be fun. Just playing some Digimon TCG and watch some shows, play videogames for awhile

My sister said she'll help me find somewhere low stress to volunteer after the holidays. So that will be good.

In the meantime I'm just working on dealing with my anxiety and some paranoia, working on idk what the word is, overcoming them? conquering them?

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Default Nov 30, 2022 at 09:54 PM
  #764
I fell asleep & woke up from a dream. It was so real in there, & then, awake, I felt so sad it was only a dream & I was back into this difficult reality. If only this part was the dream, a nightmare & I could wake up feeling so relieved that the nightmare is gone.

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Default Dec 01, 2022 at 08:03 AM
  #765
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I fell asleep & woke up from a dream. It was so real in there, & then, awake, I felt so sad it was only a dream & I was back into this difficult reality. If only this part was the dream, a nightmare & I could wake up feeling so relieved that the nightmare is gone.

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Default Dec 01, 2022 at 03:07 PM
  #766
The cats are gonna have a good Christmas this year

Getting them a large sturdy scratching post from Chewy and a few new toys

Now I just have to figure out what to get my sister and niece then my shopping is done

I've been waiting awhile to buy a scratching post for them, cause reviews are mixed on a lot of them on amazon, I want one that will last and is sturdy/won't fall over, and is large, I found a good one on Chewy and they only make pet stuff so I'm hopeful that it's good quality

FRISCO Cactus Cat Scratching Post, 33-in, Tri-post - Chewy.com

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Default Dec 01, 2022 at 07:41 PM
  #767
I bought the cats their stuff, and got a Greta Van Fleet poster and tour mug for my niece, she really likes Greta Van Fleets music so hopefully she likes it

Still gotta get something for my sister, going to the bookstore on Saturday and using my $15 in rewards towards a gift purchase for her

Christmas shopping will be done

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Default Dec 01, 2022 at 09:22 PM
  #768
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I fell asleep & woke up from a dream. It was so real in there, & then, awake, I felt so sad it was only a dream & I was back into this difficult reality. If only this part was the dream, a nightmare & I could wake up feeling so relieved that the nightmare is gone.
That's always a terrible feeling. I used to (and still somewhat) get nightmares about depression. I don't know if they qualify as like post-traumatic stress but it seems so. I think most of them have gone away for the most part.

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Default Dec 02, 2022 at 09:29 AM
  #769
Went grocery shopping today. Got all the stuff to make tacos. And some a new can opener since mine has been broke the past few months. Also got maple donuts.

My new Fitbit will be delivered today. Excited to get a lot of walking in tomorrow with it. Tomorrow I’m going downtown to the bookstore to do my Christmas shopping then I’m going to the other side of town to go to a Family Dollar to get some household essentials

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Default Dec 02, 2022 at 10:02 AM
  #770
I’m trying to fix my relationship with alcohol now that I’m allowed to drink again. I can’t go back to getting drunk everyday and secretly drinking. I need to find balance. It’s harder than I thought. My mom and sister are trying to help.

I mean I just want to enjoy a margarita or a glass of champagne over the holidays. Glass of wine after a long day. Stuff like that.

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Default Dec 02, 2022 at 11:40 AM
  #771
Apparently Maybelle really enjoys snuggling with sweet potatoes

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Default Dec 02, 2022 at 12:06 PM
  #772
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Originally Posted by cogladaid View Post
I’m trying to fix my relationship with alcohol now that I’m allowed to drink again. I can’t go back to getting drunk everyday and secretly drinking. I need to find balance. It’s harder than I thought. My mom and sister are trying to help.

I mean I just want to enjoy a margarita or a glass of champagne over the holidays. Glass of wine after a long day. Stuff like that.

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You'll get there Cogladaid, you're doing a fantastic job with the changes you're making

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Default Dec 02, 2022 at 12:09 PM
  #773
I talked with my housing support specialist, we're putting my goal to go back to school in the fall semester (end of August). We're going to work on my anxiety so I can go back to school in person rather than online, I focus better with in person classes. The weather will be better then, and I have time to fully prepare and get ready to be in a classroom again. I need to learn to use my supports like tutoring, and the learning center accomodations

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Default Dec 02, 2022 at 12:11 PM
  #774
I tend to slip through the cracks when I do online classes and get overwhelmed and don't get enough support because it takes more effort to reach out than if I was already on the college campus and could just walk down and talk to an advisor in person, I think going back in person will eventually help me with my fear of public speaking, it won't be easy and I will probably be a mess during a presentation but over time I can overcome these challenges

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Default Dec 02, 2022 at 02:13 PM
  #775
So exhausted. Feel like taking a nap but trying not to

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Default Dec 02, 2022 at 02:18 PM
  #776
In general though I’m doing good, and better with my impulsiveness/overspending. I didn’t go overboard with Christmas shopping this time, I got everyone on my list one small but meaningful gift. I still have more than enough money to get me through.

Also paranoia seems to be improving. At least I’m able to talk myself out of it now when I do get that way. Normally it just gets worse and worse. But my med increase is helping in a lot of ways including sleep.

Got some hot chocolate today to have around the house. I just feel like hot chocolate while listening to Christmas music with the tree on is nice/relaxing

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Default Dec 02, 2022 at 02:45 PM
  #777
I am really bad at making connections. I really am just trying to connect with people on the lowest level possible and I am not very good at it. It really sucks feeling so isolated in the world. I am not sure where this is coming from, but it's not helping to be alone so much these days.

I feel like the only people I see are my therapist and doctors. Not that good.

I'm still encouraged by the Latuda helping but I'm in a bit of a hole because I feel like I cannot connect with people.

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Default Dec 02, 2022 at 02:56 PM
  #778
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I am really bad at making connections. I really am just trying to connect with people on the lowest level possible and I am not very good at it. It really sucks feeling so isolated in the world. I am not sure where this is coming from, but it's not helping to be alone so much these days.

I feel like the only people I see are my therapist and doctors. Not that good.

I'm still encouraged by the Latuda helping but I'm in a bit of a hole because I feel like I cannot connect with people.

Have you tried going to your local library and checking out some of the programs they have? The ones here sometimes have like crafting and stuff for adults too in addition to children's programs. I'm lucky to live where I do in supportive housing otherwise I'd isolate completely most likely

There's sometimes social coffee events too some places like Desoxyn used to go to

Or since you play ukulele as well, maybe try looking for a local ukulele group that meets and practices together, that could give you some common interests to form more connections with people

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Unhappy Dec 02, 2022 at 09:39 PM
  #779
I've been trying to find my power to do the things I need to do. The voices, or one more so, have/has been hurting me physically, & my spirit is very sad.

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Default Dec 03, 2022 at 03:31 PM
  #780
It's quiet on here tonight.
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