Roll Call 196

Thank you so much! I’m glad my posts help someone normally it’s just me rambling but it’s good to hear you were inspired

That is so nice that you got to pet a dog , they are so sweet. I’m more of a cat person but dogs are great as well. Pets can bring so much joy. Even just seeing an animal outside someone’s walking is a wonderful experience

Oh, my goodness! Thank you! Yes!

Yeah they used to be really hard to find. They're still quite expensive. I'm getting 2 games included in the deal i got. The games I'm getting are god of war and spiderman.

Very good time in Mexico.

I'm a little evil btw. Idk if anyone figures that out - But it's a resistance to any anxiety. I never get anxious - only dpdr (****** cognition).

I have to say something, i could write a book.. taking too many methylphenidates. I don't care what you guys think - I'm empathetic and care, but I'm always up for destruction and chaos.

And I didn't want that autist friend that I blocked to think of me as evil either. I'm "kind" - But people like that are too scared.

I'm not afraid of this hell reality. So I don't need any sympathy as I can handle it all on my own. I'm better off, and you all know that. I could decapitate myself by train when I get back. And what thoughts do I trust? The struggling ones, or the amazing time that I'm having (Mostly) cuz there's no insight to either for the opposites.

My dad straight away told me to not talk to that czech speed head. I should have listened. I wasted 6+ months of my time, reading walls of text and getting stressed out and overwhelmed.

Much love, I'll be back one day.

HUGS Desoxyn

I don't care about anything in a deep sense. Maybe the psilocetin turned me into a psychopath - But mostly other people and what they've done to me.

I took pride in not being borderline PD, having a little touch of narcissism/histrionic.

I learned all of this from my gaudians. And so.
Free thinker, all of that.. I can think. But bad problems, cognition. I made excuses.

I just never cared about the objective world. Suffering and torture continues for infinity in the same location just as much as nirvana and ecstasy - Just gotta change perspective.. and to others, they aren't the one that sees what is not seen.

Got a lot done today so far. Laundry, cleaning. I also did weights and squats. I’m taking a day off from the treadmill/walking. I pushed myself so hard the past 3 days with exercise and chores, I just need a semi-rest day.

Went to the coffee social thing today too and stayed for an hour, it was good

I woke up way too early today and am now exhausted.

Tomorrow is yoga class , so I’m going to go to that and also take a walk to the library then.

I’ve been meditating everyday. My heart rate drops during meditation significantly (in a good way) which means it’s helping my stress and anxiety.

The fact that I managed to sit in the coffee social thing for an hour with someone sitting behind me (we just had the big tv on and we’re watching that) that I don’t know well, is good because I’m gonna have to get used to being in a room of people with college when I go back.

Been working on learning Spanish through Babbel for my trip to Peru.

April is just around the corner, a trip to Peru sounds amazing. Is that where Paddington Bear lived? It is great to see you.

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I hope that mostly you're having a good time!

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I personally recommend cleaning by hand so you don’t end up with a smoking oven which stinks up the place all day because that’s what tends to happen.

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Such a beautiful vacation =] Today is my last day.

My dad was talking philosophically (Like usual) about the family (Last night), and I felt really tired.. I ate a whole large lobster.. I went to sleep, and missed that moment.. but we are a loving family, no matter how much dysfunction..

More Ritalin for me.. and beers.. ill swim in the pool, and then back to the cold - Possibly skiing, and then visiting the rest of my family..

I'm happy, and got to relax.. when I get home to the rockies, my life will he reinvented.. I really needed to relax and be with my family for the longest time.. Since I was 12 years old... it worked out perfectly..

The autist friend, I no longer talk.. he taught me a lot - But I'll be ok.. new Invega Twinza injection is next year.. I'm ok now (Had psychosis before we got here).. I'm ok with cognitive impairment, as long as no one judges me (And no one ever really has) - people say I'm very articulate..

I'll update more beautiful moments later.. I'm happy rn.. idk why things happened the way they did.. but it's destiny, always have hope.. if not, give up (Like I did), and let the river carry you to a good place..

The world, corruption, doesn't seem like a problem here.. people still survive. We're adaptive. The virus was released from a lab on purpose.. Its just greed that's all. I'm prepared for the afterlife, like anyone that goes out, has an end, within a blink. It's ok..

Just got back from yoga class. It was a whole one hour and 15 minutes of continuous yoga with a zoom yoga teacher downstairs in the community room. Was just me and two other people in my building attended the class

I’m proud of myself for staying the whole time because there were a few moments I felt like it was too much or that I’d need to just leave because of being worn out but I pushed through and made it till the end.

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There you go again, inspiring me, Blue_Bird!

Sounds like a great trip Desoxyn

Great job on the yoga, Blue_Bird

Have an appointment with my primary care doctor tomorrow morning (at 9:20am). Just for my yearly physical. Also need to get refills on my omeprazole (for acid reflux) from him and a referral to an OBGYN for pap exam since I haven't had one in over 3 years

Good luck tomorrow at the doctor, Blue_Bird. I just had a pap done. Ugh. A week ago Monday. I can call on the 12th for the results.

Thanks! I've been putting off getting a referal, I was supposed to do it last year, but I didn't because getting paps done are so uncomfortable and anxiety inducing. I'm just gonna get it done though, he'll give me a referral and hopefully I can get in in the next few months and just get it over with

I hope your results are okay

I somehow sprained my right index finger so I have a splint on it. It’s hard to type on the computer and also basic things but it’s not too bad with typing on my phone (thumb typer). Just have to rest it for a while. If it’s not better by the end of the month I’ll tell my doctor about it.

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