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Default Oct 16, 2022 at 04:56 PM
  #1
I have returned. Commence!

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Default Oct 16, 2022 at 05:04 PM
  #2
I skipped some social plans today. Ah. I hate when I do that.

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Default Oct 16, 2022 at 05:17 PM
  #3
Can't decide if I need the Modafinil (provigil) or not.

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Default Oct 16, 2022 at 05:18 PM
  #4
I feel better today. My legs feel a bit restless though. Otherwise good.

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Default Oct 16, 2022 at 05:37 PM
  #5
Terribly anxious
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Default Oct 16, 2022 at 06:44 PM
  #6
So nauseous. I thought it was the headache but the headache is gone now and the nausea is back. I'm guessing metformin. Hopefully I adjust to it in a few weeks

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Default Oct 16, 2022 at 06:50 PM
  #7
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So nauseous. I thought it was the headache but the headache is gone now and the nausea is back. I'm guessing metformin. Hopefully I adjust to it in a few weeks

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Have you eaten enough?

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Default Oct 16, 2022 at 06:51 PM
  #8
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Have you eaten enough?
I think I have but maybe not. I've eaten throughout the day but didn't have anything with protein since around 11am. Maybe I'll get something else to eat.

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Default Oct 16, 2022 at 07:11 PM
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Terribly anxious
Ok so.. Holy f..

The olanzepine was kicking in, I took 0.25mg of clonazepam. I had to lie down and listen to meditation music - For what seemed like almost an hour?

I will have to cross ket off the list as an antidepressant.

Idk how my mind can be so fragile. It's sucks because my favourite podcaster (Duncan Trussell), he is a long term psychedelic user - And I've learned so much spiritual stuff from him... He never truly gets psychosis.

It's unfair. And my mom told me that (Which I know), "Schizophrenia is what causes the curiosity into delusions/experimenting with mind altering substances etc.." and spirituality I guess. I'm going the wrong way about this.

That and the news... Conspiracies too (In small doses).. My cognition is just wired that way now. Not like the autists friends I have.. They can hyper focus, analyze, heavily.. logical, use any drug and be fine + Have "positive symptoms" but it doesn't bother them.

In the end, it's just really unfair to me. It's so unfair and kills me - Cuz a lot of my time is spent on coming up with interesting spiritual ideas/insights. I'd like to write about them.... and life.. Afraid of where the world is going anyways...

It's either tradition (Shaman, religion, conservative, psychedelics, family, faith/god, dying fulfilled) or futuristic (Assisted suicide, science, technology, population control, becoming gods, immortality, cures for physical illness/prolonging cancer life expectancy etc).. I could go on and on..

Where does it all lead..... Which one is better - If humanity is like Universe 25.. with the rat society.... and... Ignore me. Nvm.
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Default Oct 16, 2022 at 07:15 PM
  #10
I need 15 mg olanzapine. I need to somehow convince my psychiatrist of this.

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Default Oct 16, 2022 at 07:18 PM
  #11
No but there's parts of evil, like a satanic world (With the assisted suicide here in Canada) - Just some loop hole in the system.

But evil infiltrates into all of it now. A big mess.
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Default Oct 16, 2022 at 07:20 PM
  #12
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I need 15 mg olanzapine. I need to somehow convince my psychiatrist of this.
Give me some too I need more
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Default Oct 16, 2022 at 07:23 PM
  #13
I'm ok.. But the world seems hopeless - So why try I say.

If anyone has any uh,. advice about this common problem, let me know (I Google so many questions and I'm tired of it RN).

I want to spend ~3 months at a time at my dads condo in Mexico, learn Spanish, do something productive, get a car and license, see places (When my dad spends 2 weeks off/4 weeks working).

It would really really help me.
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Default Oct 16, 2022 at 08:44 PM
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I need 15 mg olanzapine. I need to somehow convince my psychiatrist of this.
I kind of just think that no antipsychotic helps me.

I mean I'm on 10 mg olanzapine (sometime 15 mg) and 30 mg Abilify.

Doesn't that mean I should try clozapine? I don't know...

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Default Oct 17, 2022 at 05:40 AM
  #15
Good morning. Went to bed at 11pm, up at 4:30am and couldn’t get back to sleep. It’s 6:40am now. Doing laundry.

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Default Oct 17, 2022 at 05:42 AM
  #16
Plan on getting on the treadmill later today. And doing some cleaning in my apartment. Have to call the dentist to schedule appointments my next filling and my prescription permanent crown placement.

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Default Oct 17, 2022 at 05:55 AM
  #17
Trigger for weight talk

Possible trigger:


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Last edited by Blue_Bird; Oct 17, 2022 at 06:41 AM..
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Default Oct 17, 2022 at 06:17 AM
  #18
I woke up early because my legs felt restless. But I don’t feel like exercising so I’m just sitting here drinking coffee at 616am.

I’m bored already. Not looking forward to work. I wasn’t able to focus on Thursday and Friday so I got like no work done and it’s piling up. Have to motor it today. I hate when I do this.

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Default Oct 17, 2022 at 06:21 AM
  #19
Yup, I'm up as well. Got up at like 4:30 a.m. because, I guess my body didn't want to sleep anymore. Ha.

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Default Oct 17, 2022 at 06:33 AM
  #20
I’ve been eating as little as possible because I’m crazy and can’t help it and just want to lose weight and everyone encourages me to lose weight and is happy I’m losing weight. I can see clothes being loose on me and having to wear a belt on a pair of jeans but the scale is almost stuck it’s frustrating I just want to lose the weight.

Like I am overweight but I’m also not well. No one sees that which is frustrating but I also don’t want them to know so I can continue on doing what I’m doing.

It’s all dumb, really. I warned people when I was slipping but no one listened they just said I need to lose weight. Sigh. I can’t help myself.

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