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Breaking Dawn
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Thumbs up Jan 19, 2023 at 10:24 AM
  #441
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Originally Posted by Desoxyn View Post
I feel so timid.. And keep deleting my posts. I wish I didn't have any hope left, but I do. Just cuz of the reason that this goes on forever. I have no choice in life but to make good decisions.
Very interesting, Desoxyn. You definitely have depth.

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Default Jan 19, 2023 at 11:47 AM
  #442
Slept good. My mouth is sore but it's not too bad, ibuprofen is good for it. Rinsing with warm salt water every 2 hours for today and then 3 more days.

I haven't had caffeine of any sort for 4 days, I drastically cut from a ton to zero caffeine and it was a bad idea to not taper off it. I've had a headache on and off for 3 days. I finally bought a container and drank some coffee today (black as usual, unsweetened/no sugar, trying to limit sugar as much as possible in my diet) My headache is gone and I feel that rush from caffeine that I haven't had in a long time, I guess maybe because my tolerence lowered some. It feels good, music sounds amazing again.

It's art day in the community room later at 1pm, I'm going to that. Walked to the store earlier, bought a case of cat food and some other stuff I needed.

Going to my friend's on Sunday, will be fun

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Default Jan 19, 2023 at 01:00 PM
  #443
I feel broken but amazing. My mood is amazing now.

But I’m only showering once a week. And last night when I took a shower I didn’t feel clean until I washed myself head to toe five times. And I’ve been washing my hands five times at a time (they don’t feel clean otherwise).

My OCD is flaring up now that my mood is better lmao.

And I haven’t been eating well and losing more weight. 1lb away from my next goal weight!

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Breaking Dawn
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Default Jan 19, 2023 at 01:36 PM
  #444
Things seem to be on the upswing for you, Blue_Bird. I hope you have a great time Sunday with your friend. And a hug for your cat.

Today has been a little bit better for me so far. A mixture of ups & downs. Mainly I think my outlook is & feels a bit brighter, although I'm not sure why.

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Default Jan 19, 2023 at 01:53 PM
  #445
Finished days 8 and 9 of the 30 day beginners photography course today. I missed yesterdays because of the dental stuff, didn't feel up to it, but I caught back up today. Went over what's the best focus mode to use depending on what you're photographing , and how to space out landscapes (the rule of thirds) I'm taking my time with things, there's a lot of tehnical stuff to learn and how to apply it all, not rushing things, it's gonna take years of learning and experimenting, but I am looking forward to it, a little bit at a time everyday

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Default Jan 19, 2023 at 01:59 PM
  #446
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Originally Posted by cogladaid View Post
I feel broken but amazing. My mood is amazing now.

But I’m only showering once a week. And last night when I took a shower I didn’t feel clean until I washed myself head to toe five times. And I’ve been washing my hands five times at a time (they don’t feel clean otherwise).

My OCD is flaring up now that my mood is better lmao.

And I haven’t been eating well and losing more weight. 1lb away from my next goal weight!

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Sorry you're struggling with the OCD and ED, but glad you're mood is good. Do you have any support groups around you? I was in an intensive outpatient day treatment program for a couple years and it really helped, not suggesting that you need that, but the groups in it were helpful, there were a few specific ones geared towards EDs, and some for bipolar/schizoaffective/ daily life stuff etc lots of variety, those are the ones I was in mostly. you may be able to find mental health groups outside of programs like that because that is time consuming but I think NAMI runs some groups, not sure if there are ED ones. May be worth looking into. I found having some support outside of my therapist and psychiatrist to be helpful, especially since those appointments aren't frequent and there's a lot of time in between that may be hard, and you may struggle in between appointments, and support helps.

Just a thought, I hope things improve soon though

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Default Jan 19, 2023 at 02:03 PM
  #447
Is Tapatalk not working for others? It hasn't been working for me today

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Default Jan 19, 2023 at 02:07 PM
  #448
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Is Tapatalk not working for others? It hasn't been working for me today

I’m on it right now and it’s working fine for me.

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Default Jan 19, 2023 at 02:11 PM
  #449
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I’m on it right now and it’s working fine for me.

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Thanks, I just checked it a second ago and its working for me now. Earlier today for several hours it wouldn't load, must have been something wrong on my side/my internet or something

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Default Jan 19, 2023 at 03:23 PM
  #450
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Is Tapatalk not working for others? It hasn't been working for me today
I'm using it, what's it doing?

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Default Jan 19, 2023 at 03:25 PM
  #451
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I'm using it, what's it doing?

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Oops, should have read a bit further. Sometimes it doesn't refresh, but I'm not sure if that's me or an issue.

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Default Jan 19, 2023 at 06:25 PM
  #452
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I'm using it, what's it doing?

Sent from my Nokia XR20 using Tapatalk

It wasn’t loading, but I figured out that it was because I changed my password so it logged me out and I forgot to update my password on the app, so I did that and now it’s working fine

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Default Jan 19, 2023 at 06:56 PM
  #453
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Originally Posted by Blue_Bird View Post
Sorry you're struggling with the OCD and ED, but glad you're mood is good. Do you have any support groups around you? I was in an intensive outpatient day treatment program for a couple years and it really helped, not suggesting that you need that, but the groups in it were helpful, there were a few specific ones geared towards EDs, and some for bipolar/schizoaffective/ daily life stuff etc lots of variety, those are the ones I was in mostly. you may be able to find mental health groups outside of programs like that because that is time consuming but I think NAMI runs some groups, not sure if there are ED ones. May be worth looking into. I found having some support outside of my therapist and psychiatrist to be helpful, especially since those appointments aren't frequent and there's a lot of time in between that may be hard, and you may struggle in between appointments, and support helps.

Just a thought, I hope things improve soon though

I don’t think I feel comfortable talking to other people outside my family doctor. Idk I’m seeing him like every two weeks right now. I feel like I don’t want help with my ED. My OCD I might ask my doctor for an SSRI to help. Idk. I’ll see when I see him on the 31st.

Suffer until then lmao.

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Default Jan 19, 2023 at 07:25 PM
  #454
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I don’t think I feel comfortable talking to other people outside my family doctor. Idk I’m seeing him like every two weeks right now. I feel like I don’t want help with my ED. My OCD I might ask my doctor for an SSRI to help. Idk. I’ll see when I see him on the 31st.

Suffer until then lmao.

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That's understandable that you don't feel comfortable talking to other people about it

I hope your doctor is able to help with the OCD

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Default Jan 19, 2023 at 08:05 PM
  #455
I was a bit hypomanic today at work. Everything was awesome and great. I’ve calmed down a bit now. I still feel good though. Hopefully this lasts.

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Default Jan 20, 2023 at 07:55 AM
  #456
Almost 8am. Been up since 5:45am. So far got laundry done, litter box cleaned , floors swept and mopped, breakfast cooked and eaten, cats fed, meds take, a 10 minute meditation done

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Default Jan 20, 2023 at 09:08 AM
  #457
Oh my goodness, Blue_Bird, you get an A plus!

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Default Jan 20, 2023 at 12:41 PM
  #458
I’m absolutely exhausted and it’s only 12:40pm.

I should have slept in more instead of getting up so early. I wore myself out doing everything from 6am to 12:30pm. Now I just feel like sleeping

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Default Jan 20, 2023 at 12:41 PM
  #459
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Oh my goodness, Blue_Bird, you get an A plus!

Thanks, trying to be more productive think I overdid it today though

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Default Jan 20, 2023 at 06:07 PM
  #460
I'm ok. Many mental changes though.
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