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Old Today at 11:10 AM
  #541
 
I hope your doctor can prescribe the medication for you WA, Iím glad your trip down there went well

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Old Today at 11:13 AM
  #542
 
I walked to the store today to buy 2 bags of cat litter and some cat food.

Took a shower, used nice soap and body scrub and put on lotion and some Valentino perfume afterwards. Feel really refreshed and smell great. I hadnít showered in 3 days. Usually when I do I just try to get it over with as fast as possible so I donít take my time. But I did today and it felt really good. Iím gonna try to start showering every single day.

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Old Today at 12:25 PM
  #543
 
My Mom's Foster Mom arrives today. My parents are picking her up at the airport. She can be kind of critical so I am both looking forward to and dreading her visit. Hmm. Maybe more of that emotional stress!

I bought a few puzzles for us to do since she is older and doesn't like going out much and she is really good at puzzles. I got a King Tut one and I hope we get to that one because it looks really fun.

I'm a bit worried how Zoey (my beagle) will do. She can get crazy, and excited, and run around and jump on people--but ordinarily she is a good dog. But my Mom gets upset and then yells at her and then Zoey barks and then it just seems to escalate. I tell my Mom that when we get loud, Zoey gets loud. She forgets though, as she has memory issues.

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Old Today at 12:27 PM
  #544
 
Tired today. I took some sleep medicine last night and it knocked me out. I did get good sleep but I had a hard time waking up. My Dad brought me and my coworker coffee though so it is helping a lot. I don't feel as sleepy now.

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Old Today at 01:32 PM
  #545
 
I am anxious today but I do not want to take anxiety medicine because I just stopped feeling sleepy. But my chest is all tight and my breathing is shallow. I will try to do some deep breathing and see if that helps.

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Old Today at 04:17 PM
  #546
 
Hope you feel better SK and hope the visit with your momís foster mom goes well

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Old Today at 04:27 PM
  #547
 
Trigger for eating disorder recovery stuff

Possible trigger:


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Old Today at 04:29 PM
  #548
 
Again, not aiming for perfection. I know Iíll eat those foods once in awhile , just trying to stop buying massive quantities of it , because I always say Iíll have just a couple cookies or something then as soon as Iím stressed, the entire package is gone

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Old Today at 04:41 PM
  #549
 
Got my February calendar of events in the building

My therapist said itís good that Iíve taken this time away from school and stuff, to work on my mental health , even though I feel like a failure due to it. Because Iíve come a long way and am a lot more stable than I used to be and have matured over the years as well. So she thinks going back in the fall is a good idea since I really want to and feel pretty confident that I can handle it , taking 1-2 classes

So Iím taking steps towards going back. Paying off the money I owe the bookstore from my last semester in 2019. Iíll have it payed off by or before June. Then I will sign up for a class or 2, depending on the minimum required for my financial aide to cover it. Usually itís 2 class (6 credits total) I need to cover tuition as a part time student.

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Old Today at 05:06 PM
  #550
 
I'm happy that I have a soul and I'm not a lifeless Artificial General Intelligence machine.

This morning was the most difficult morning it has ever taken for me to wake up... I got to work an hour late.

Last night, I felt really good - My mind was super super clear (Like never before) - I was invincible.. But needed to sleep, so I zopicloned myself (At 2am).

Too cold to run.. I still plan to organize my life. But something really strange and amazing is happening - It's like I'm super aware, .. the particle accelerator in Switzerland, it likely caused this (No jk..).

But yeah.. I'm enlightened (In some way, not fully though..) - I just want to learn and live, experience.. feel around like a fungi culture underneath the forest (That's the best that I can explain this..), sharing sugars with trees...
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Old Today at 05:08 PM
  #551
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Blue_Bird View Post
I hope your doctor can prescribe the medication for you WA, Iím glad your trip down there went well

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Thanks thanks. I appreciate it.

I think, after reflecting a bit about it, it's not necessarily the medication that was/is the problem. It is that I uprooted myself from my old life and put myself into a new place. So I guess I have to grow new roots here. That is the best way I have to explain it.

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Old Today at 06:08 PM
  #552
 
I need a shower. But in all likelihood I will wait until after food distribution tomorrow because I always get all grimey after that. I don't want to shower two days in a row even though I know lots of people who do. I just can't seem to get my act together enough to do that.

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Old Today at 06:20 PM
  #553
 
I meditated for 15 minutes , will probably do another 15-20 minutes later tonight before bed

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Old Today at 07:02 PM
  #554
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Blue_Bird View Post
I meditated for 15 minutes , will probably do another 15-20 minutes later tonight before bed

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Nice, meditation always seems to help me.

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Old Today at 09:23 PM
  #555
 
You guys gave me the idea to meditate - So I did that, but I YouTubed "Advanced meditation" (I was just curious to see what it's like), eyes were supposed to be open, great ideas (With the visuals of nature), focus on breath - But after 8 minutes, I stopped (From trying to figure things out, deeply), got distracted.

My mind is foggy.. I talked to a friend and I just had to leave the conversation - My mind isn't clear.

So my advice is to not rush to advanced things... lol
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Old Today at 10:16 PM
  #556
 
Iím reading a book called A Wizards Guide to Defensive Baking.

Itís a fantasy novel about a 14 year old girl who works in a bakery and thereís murders happening in town and she is getting accused of them because shes a wizard/does magic. Her magic helps the bread and stuff she bakes come out extremely well and made her aunts bakery really popular. (Sheís an apprentice to her aunt) Itís like a cozy, fantasy, murder mystery novel. I keep finding more of these cool cozy type fantasy books. The first one I read was Legends and Lattes by Travis Baldree about an orc who wanted to stop living a life of traveling and fighting and opens a coffee shop.

Interesting unique little genre

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Old Today at 10:22 PM
  #557
 
My downstairs neighbors are being very loud tonight. Theyíre drunk or high or whatever most likely, they always do this on Friday nights because they think they can get away with it because the property manager and housing support specialist isnít downstairs in the office on weekends. Theyíre here every week day. Security guard is here 24 hours a day 7 days a week.

I donít even know who lives downstairs from me but it generally escalates to fighting and yelling and slamming doors over and over which theyíre doing now. Thereís also someone in the hallway right now angry and yelling. Itís almost 10:30pm

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