Roll Call 197

[x] 1 individual slice of chocolate corruption cake from the bakery

Yes!

I was debating getting a slice of red velvet then I saw the chocolate corruption one and it looked really good and , I liked the name, and I have really been craving chocolate so I got that. Glad they have individual slices boxed up available to just grab, there’s no way I could have a whole cake around, I would eat the whole thing over 2-3 days

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I love Chocolate cake too, especially with milk.

I had no idea they did this tbh, I’ll have to check at mine.

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Feeling a bit better today. Not suicidal at least. So that's good.

I ordered these flowers for a coworker in NY.

https://www.1800flowers.com/floral-embrace-191167

She should get them today.

Making maple and mustard salmon with broccoli tonight.

I packed a small lunch (in the office today) and debating if I want to eat it. I probably should. It’s just some cucumber, tomato, and strawberries.

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So beautiful!

I am sooooo excited to start cooking stuff with my air fryer. I have wanted one for years and only just now splurged to get one.

This is the one I ordered:

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0...?ie=UTF8&psc=1

This will open up a wider variety of foods and recipes for me to try. There's so much cool stuff you can do with one

I slept 13 hours. I get amazing sleep.. But I just sleep way too long.

Okay, household essentials for the month are all taken care of

I bought most of everything online because I don't feel like taking 5 walks to Family Dollar in the freezing cold to carry everything back in multiple trips. I'll have to go tomorrow but that will just be for some cat food, cat litter, and paper towels. Then I won't have to go for awhile

I bought some basic clothing I needed (socks etc), plus dish soap, liquid laundry detergent, sponges, and 2 cases of wet cat food.

So all those will be coming over the next three days, and of course my air fryer is coming tomorrow.

Oh and I put $25 on my bus fare smart card, I have a half fare card so rides are really cheap 1/2 the price of normal rides so that should last me quite some time, so I won't have to worry about bus fare for this month, I have enough on my card to cover any trips I need to take

I feel happy and full of love (Phenibut?)

I was searching about how to cope with ADHD.. Why not schiz? I have no symptoms (I don't think?)...

List of therapies;
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy
- Organization, prioritization, time management
- To do lists
Dialectical Behavioural Therapy
- Mindfulness, emotion regulation, interpersonal skill building
Metacognitive Therapy
- New cognitive patterns and addresses maladaptive beliefs

I do all of these things already though... without therapy.... The meds help. And I'll continue reading that book..

And the "Outline of Self" (On wiki), I'll continue reading that...; Outline of self - Wikipedia

I just want to think positively.

And about playing guitar.. yeah I want to do that too. How can I organize all of this..

But mostly, how do I prolong motivation and interest..

Idk, idk. I don't feel depressed at least. I've been to dark places, the worst pain. But I don't drink alcohol anymore. It's no good.

I talked to the pharmacist - And forgot his wife (Other pharmacists) name, he said her name (And I didn't hear), but I said "Ah, ok".

It was hard to talk to him cuz he's so introverted. He said that I shouldn't be so worried to talk about the stimulant, and I can take a morning IR amount (Ritalin, for example), to wake up.

It's INCREDIBLY difficult for me to wake up (And really always has been.. Cuz of the Invega, olanzepine, zopiclone, etc).

So Idk... I'll figure it out. I can't be obsessed with the stimulant either - But I am dependent, and have been for decade.

Just a previous psychiatrist once said "Vyvanse is like crack" and took me off of it - That didn't help. It's sort of traumatizing to deal with psychiatric-authority. I've been through needless crap in the past, squeezing the life from my soul. And yeah I never listened....

But I'll solve this o.-
...

CUz.. It's all I can do. I SAID btw, that this MOMENT, is a critical time.. to learn coping mechanisms, skills, life orientation, goals etc... treat symptoms, throgh therapy....

All of this stuff drives me nuts too - And I did use many other stimulants.. cuz no one was listening to me. lol..

Ah Jeez, this post is probably a bad one.. Just ignore me

Last couple days I have this feeling that thoughts are being blocked. Messages in music being blocked. Ugh. Now this urge to stop taking my meds. At least the Latuda.

I can’t listen to these feelings. I just can’t. Struggling to ignore them.

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We can only be happy in our own skulls

Latuda is a good med (For mood), can actually increase energy. My cousin is on it (Bipolar 1 with manic/psychosis) - She's doing really well. A microbiologist, works at a weed dispensary. Hugs though...

Latuda usually helps me very well with my psychotic thinking. But sometimes I just have this bit of breakthrough. It’s frustrating and I just have to try to ignore it. Hopefully it’ll pass soon.

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I need to go to the store but I’m wondering if I should just hold off on that. It’s 7 degrees and windy and will be that all day then will dip down to -11 degrees through tonight and tomorrow. I might have to wait until Monday when it gets a little warmer

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I would wait if you can…..if you need pet food I used to order from like petco.

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