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Default Feb 05, 2023 at 08:16 PM
  #721
I’m not a resilient person. I’m reading/listening to an audio book about Ikigai , and it says one of the keys to happiness etc is resilience. Many people who have a strong Ikigai and have long happy life are resilient and don’t let discouragement get them down , they keep moving forward, they focus on what they can control/their objective. I let discouragement take over, and let it consume me.

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Default Feb 05, 2023 at 08:19 PM
  #722
Stoics practice negative visualization, to imagine the worse possible outcome of things, in order to be prepared. Reflect on them without worrying about them.

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Default Feb 05, 2023 at 09:20 PM
  #723
Is anyone on an SSRI? I might ask my psychiatrist (Tomorrow) about Prozac (Fluoxetine). I took 4x 20mg of them when I was a teenager - But I'm not sure if that's what made me manic (But also numb and unfocused) or the high dose of Abilify (Severely impulsive) or a combination of both..

I'm just wondering if it would hinder my productivity and motivation (To do tasks). I tried it (In 2018), went up to 30mg - And I couldn't listen to podcasts anymore.. But I think that was cuz of the DPDR (Dissociation) - My DPDR has really been healed (Cuz of the olanzepine - Worked wonderfully for that), so taking those two in combination (Since I wasn't on olanzepine in 2018), it could help.

I tried microdosing psychedelics.. But it's pretty scary, doesn't work and I think contributes to a negative/agitated mood. I'm too scared to take a high dose right now. Being on Prozac would mean that I can't use 5HT2A psychedelics or releasing agents (Cuz of serotonin syndrome), but marijuana and ketamine is okay. The ketamine seemed to help - But doesn't last very long.

So in total, I'd be on the Invega Trinza injection (With Invega PRN pills), Vyvanse, Dexedrine SR, atenolol, olanzepine, pregabalin (This could be replaced with Prozac), zopiclone and clonazepam PRN... Not too much..

I want 120x 5mg Dexedrine IR pills (To take 2 in the morning and 2 in the evening) - Shouldn't be a problem - It would help me wake up in the morning, and also focus well (While on the Prozac), so I'd be pretty happy and focused - A little numb (But that's what I need.. A good vacation from the terrible feelings that I've been dealing with these past 2 years).

So far, so good.. I'll update on what my psychiatrist does tomorrow =]
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Default Feb 05, 2023 at 09:52 PM
  #724
Update: 850pm I ended up watching Tv, distracting myself, ate lunch, made tamales, ate tamales, made an old fashioned and drank it, watched Saturday Night Live, watched Thor Love and Thunder.

Now it’s time for bed.

Tomorrow is Monday. Back to work. Going to get up in the morning and do some biking. Trying to get a little more fit so I can go back to the gym.

Anyway good night.

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Default Feb 05, 2023 at 11:00 PM
  #725
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Originally Posted by cogladaid View Post
Update: 850pm I ended up watching Tv, distracting myself, ate lunch, made tamales, ate tamales, made an old fashioned and drank it, watched Saturday Night Live, watched Thor Love and Thunder.

Now it’s time for bed.

Tomorrow is Monday. Back to work. Going to get up in the morning and do some biking. Trying to get a little more fit so I can go back to the gym.

Anyway good night.

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Default Feb 06, 2023 at 12:33 AM
  #726
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Originally Posted by Blue_Bird View Post
I’m not a resilient person. I’m reading/listening to an audio book about Ikigai , and it says one of the keys to happiness etc is resilience. Many people who have a strong Ikigai and have long happy life are resilient and don’t let discouragement get them down , they keep moving forward, they focus on what they can control/their objective. I let discouragement take over, and let it consume me.

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No matter what, everything is okay. No matter what happens.. I remember that Christian hippie friend, he said "God doesn't give you anything more than you can handle".

Look at us, bleeding.. What we went through - The most insane, confusing and torturous mental states. Yes, some don't make it, they are home now - But we're still here. And for a reason. A good reason!
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Default Feb 06, 2023 at 07:47 AM
  #727
Quote:
Originally Posted by Desoxyn View Post
Is anyone on an SSRI? I might ask my psychiatrist (Tomorrow) about Prozac (Fluoxetine). I took 4x 20mg of them when I was a teenager - But I'm not sure if that's what made me manic (But also numb and unfocused) or the high dose of Abilify (Severely impulsive) or a combination of both..

I'm just wondering if it would hinder my productivity and motivation (To do tasks). I tried it (In 2018), went up to 30mg - And I couldn't listen to podcasts anymore.. But I think that was cuz of the DPDR (Dissociation) - My DPDR has really been healed (Cuz of the olanzepine - Worked wonderfully for that), so taking those two in combination (Since I wasn't on olanzepine in 2018), it could help.

I tried microdosing psychedelics.. But it's pretty scary, doesn't work and I think contributes to a negative/agitated mood. I'm too scared to take a high dose right now. Being on Prozac would mean that I can't use 5HT2A psychedelics or releasing agents (Cuz of serotonin syndrome), but marijuana and ketamine is okay. The ketamine seemed to help - But doesn't last very long.

So in total, I'd be on the Invega Trinza injection (With Invega PRN pills), Vyvanse, Dexedrine SR, atenolol, olanzepine, pregabalin (This could be replaced with Prozac), zopiclone and clonazepam PRN... Not too much..

I want 120x 5mg Dexedrine IR pills (To take 2 in the morning and 2 in the evening) - Shouldn't be a problem - It would help me wake up in the morning, and also focus well (While on the Prozac), so I'd be pretty happy and focused - A little numb (But that's what I need.. A good vacation from the terrible feelings that I've been dealing with these past 2 years).

So far, so good.. I'll update on what my psychiatrist does tomorrow =]

I’m on sertraline 200mg, in addition to my other meds (abilify, Thorazine, trileptal, trazodone) hen klonopin PRN

My focus was pretty bad for awhile. It seems to come and go.

However I have been very productive while on these meds

I hope you’re able to find something that helps

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Default Feb 06, 2023 at 09:00 AM
  #728
So I called Social Security. The lady on the phone was really nice. She said there’s no interruptions on my payments, it must have been a website error.

So now all I have to do is have my sister who’s my payee create a my social security account through the representative payee portal and update the address since I can’t do it , has to be her.

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Default Feb 06, 2023 at 10:23 AM
  #729
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Originally Posted by Blue_Bird View Post
Stoics practice negative visualization, to imagine the worse possible outcome of things, in order to be prepared. Reflect on them without worrying about them.

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I tried stoicism…it wasn’t for me….

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Default Feb 06, 2023 at 11:11 AM
  #730
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So I called Social Security. The lady on the phone was really nice. She said there’s no interruptions on my payments, it must have been a website error.

So now all I have to do is have my sister who’s my payee create a my social security account through the representative payee portal and update the address since I can’t do it , has to be her.

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Out of curiosity I checked the my social security website as well, it said I was receiving no current payments. So the website is definitely glitched right now, and my local social security office confirmed that my payments are ongoing.

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Default Feb 06, 2023 at 11:14 AM
  #731
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Out of curiosity I checked the my social security website as well, it said I was receiving no current payments. So the website is definitely glitched right now, and my local social security office confirmed that my payments are ongoing.
Thank you that's good to know

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Default Feb 06, 2023 at 01:21 PM
  #732
Hey friends,

had a sort of lazy, relaxing weekend. I didn't get my sheets washed so I asked my Dad to do it today while I was at work. He usually helps me change my sheets so I don't think he will mind.

My therapist texted me Saturday but I responded to her yesterday. It was a nice text exchange. I'm happy she is my therapist.

I am a little stressed about my sister's upcoming wedding but I assume everything will be fine. I'm the maid of honor. I got the time off of work (it's in July) and so I just have to figure out what she wants me to do, specifically.

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Default Feb 06, 2023 at 02:08 PM
  #733
I hadn’t had coffee in 39 hours. I had such a bad migraine that wouldn’t go away even with lots of water and ibuprofen so I just walked to the store and bought a canister. I had a cup, I feel I focus so much better when I have coffee. Not when I have too much, when I have too much it goes in the opposite direction and I struggle to focus, and anxiety gets bad, but like if I drink it in moderation I just focus a lot better and feel better mentally/improved mood

I am going to do some lessons in my photography course today, I stopped for a few days because I was so damn stressed over the whole SSI thing

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Default Feb 06, 2023 at 02:11 PM
  #734
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I’m crying. I’ve gotten nowhere in life. I’m a ****ing failure.

My anxiety is so bad tonight, I feel dissociated

Maybe dying isn’t something to be afraid of. Almost seems like it would be a relief, I feel like I shouldn’t exist (not going to do anything , just thoughts)

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It's ok Blue_Bird, things will be ok. You call up SS at 8am and tell them you're not receiving any benefits. Hugs! Roll Call 197

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Default Feb 06, 2023 at 02:13 PM
  #735
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It's ok Blue_Bird, things will be ok. You call up SS at 8am and tell them you're not receiving any benefits. Hugs! Roll Call 197

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Thanks, I called them today. Turns out I am still receiving them it was just a computer glitch that made it look like I wasn’t getting any on the my social security account website , so it’s all good now

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Default Feb 06, 2023 at 02:25 PM
  #736
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Originally Posted by Blue_Bird View Post
So I called Social Security. The lady on the phone was really nice. She said there’s no interruptions on my payments, it must have been a website error.

So now all I have to do is have my sister who’s my payee create a my social security account through the representative payee portal and update the address since I can’t do it , has to be her.

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That's good. Hugs! Roll Call 197Roll Call 197Roll Call 197Roll Call 197Roll Call 197

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Default Feb 06, 2023 at 02:29 PM
  #737
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Thanks, I called them today. Turns out I am still receiving them it was just a computer glitch that made it look like I wasn’t getting any on the my social security account website , so it’s all good now

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I'm so glad. Roll Call 197Roll Call 197Roll Call 197Roll Call 197Roll Call 197

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Default Feb 06, 2023 at 02:31 PM
  #738
Happy birthday to Erti. Hope it will be a good one. Roll Call 197

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Default Feb 06, 2023 at 04:03 PM
  #739
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Hey friends,

had a sort of lazy, relaxing weekend. I didn't get my sheets washed so I asked my Dad to do it today while I was at work. He usually helps me change my sheets so I don't think he will mind.

My therapist texted me Saturday but I responded to her yesterday. It was a nice text exchange. I'm happy she is my therapist.

I am a little stressed about my sister's upcoming wedding but I assume everything will be fine. I'm the maid of honor. I got the time off of work (it's in July) and so I just have to figure out what she wants me to do, specifically.

I despise washing my sheets. I do it, and wash my comforter usually once a week or every two weeks depending on whether I'm feeling up to it, it just feels like such a pain, even though it shouldn't because its no different than doing other laundry. Sometimes I have to remind myself that I'm thankful to live in a building with washers and dryers. Because the last place I lived, the laundry room had a gas leak and collapsed and they never repaired it after that so I had to walk a mile to the laundromat carrying my clothes I needed to wash. Which sucked lol

Hope you have a good experience at your sister's wedding as maid of honor

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Default Feb 06, 2023 at 04:07 PM
  #740
Plan on getting on the treadmill tomorrow, for 30 minutes, then do some weight lifting and squats.

Wednesday I have yoga class, so that will be fun. Yoga for an hour and a half wears me the hell out but it is only a couple times a month, and it makes me feel good afterward. I feel like I've had a really thorough workout after that

I'm gonna try out my air fryer for the first time tomorrow. I always get nervous when first trying out new types of appliances but after a couple uses I get more comfortable with it

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